What decade is financially the toughest with children?

[picklethecumber]

Me and DH are early 40s with 2 kids- 12 and 11 . When we were in our 20s life was pretty carefree and financially we were in a good place and able to eat out lots, holidays, doing nice things etc now obviously I know the entire world is feeling the pinch at the moment with the cost of living going through the roof, but what age did you get a bit more financial wiggle room? We are finding things quite tight after paying day to day things but is there a point when all of a sudden you can go on holidays that once upon a time you couldn't etc? I was discussing this with my friends over a coffee one morning and we all said about how tough it is for everyone atm

As you are past the nursery fees and not yet at the college stage, I’d say these are the best years.

Yeah its a different world now.

Surely it depends when you have your children? We are early 40s and putting children through university at the moment, plus learning to drive etc. It's very expensive!

When they were 12 and 11 life was cheap!

Nursery years and university years.

I was able to me a sahm when my kids were small, DH had a brilliant job, still does but it's a lower salary I never had nursery fees so maybe that's why I'm finding it tougher now lol I just think cost of living/ big mortgage has buggered us. I live in hope that in another 10 years 😳 it'll be easier as they will hopefully have pt jobs.

I suspect for us it'll be nursery years as we were early in our careers then and we bought our first house at that time too, we had kids in our 20s. Kids are pre teens/teens now and we are well established in our careers (earning about 4 X as much as we did then and expect that to continue to increase), and will be able to save enough for £6000 per year per child for uni without forgoing anything else, we appreciate we will likely need to top that up when the time comes but with £6000 saved top ups should theoretically be easily within our means. Have a separate savings plan for driving lessons and car.

@picklethecumber thing is, staying at home has a financial cost despite no nursery fees, your loss of income and then potential impact to your career, so it's not surprising if you haven't yet recovered from that gap.

Sorry for saying the age your children are at, but it’s true that teen years are very expensive.

Adult sized clothes/shoes (with VAT)
Laptops for school
Adult prices for hotels and travel
Hobbies (and getting them there and back)
Potentially Uni and driving lessons

My eldest has just passed his driving test/ got his first car and is looking at Universities, he’s more expensive than ever and it’s not looking likely to ease up any time soon (and I have another two who will have to have the same experiences/ expenses as their brother). It’s very depressing!

My son is nearly 17 and my daughter identifies as 13/14. Definitely the most expensive time for us. Driving lessons, adult clothes, adult haircuts and highlights, tutoring, no interest in free activities like going to the park beach etc. They don't want to camp anymore either!!

I just wanted to say that we are finding life more expensive- prices etc seem to have gone up more than any other time in our lives and I don't think that is related to children - I think it is the world at the moment

Sorry, your daughter does what?

Teen years can get expensive. I think around age 10-12 is probably the cheapest, not paying for childcare any more but they're not in adult clothes yet.

Regarding uni, I'm not in a position to help DS financially at all (he will be entitled to the full student loan) but I'll lose my UC so that time will probably be tight. Once he leaves home I'll have to downsize.

My daughter is 13/14 not sure where identifies came from !!

Learning to drive will cost you 1.5k to 3k each child. I recommend insuring your own car and helping them after they’ve had a few hours with a driving instructor.

DofE Bronze and Gold cost us at least 2k.

A level Maths revision course was 1.5k with our accommodation for the week but it was worth it because he got his grade from a B to an A which is what he needed.

Clothes, going out, taxi money added up quickly too.

Currently supporting DS in a 5 or 6 year degree and paying his rent and topping him up a bit while at UNI costing us 8k to 10k a year (he gets minimal student loan).

We expect him to get a job in the summer but it’s not as easy as everyone says he was still only 17 years a few weeks before leaving for Uni and he applied for loads of jobs in the summer before he left but nothing came of it.

Household income 65k a year. It’s JAM.

Does that mean I can identify as 18😁

DS was in a sports team so there was a bit of driving round the region and kit. A friend of his did another sport and she came close to getting a place representing Team GB in the Olympics so that must have cost her parents a fortune.

It also depends on how much you can or are willing to support your young adults if they go to University and then with housing etc. DS was accepted on a degree apprenticeship programme as was a friends DD, though a different company. They are both studying whilst sponsored and earning around 30k per annum plus zero tuition fees, so no student debt. Places are extremely competitive.

DH family kept a holiday home till a couple of years ago so we had many a holiday there. We also have relatives in America, Hong Kong, Spain and the South coast so have had many holidays with free accommodation. We also host them back.

I actually say do not let your child drive your car unless you are a driving instructor. We were lucky DS had 15 lessons with an instructor and passed first time. The cost to add him to the insurance was about £500 so I did not bother.

DS doesn’t know it yet but we will be assisting with a house deposit, amount to still be decided.