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Original poster

What to do of an evening to keep busy?

15 replies

HappyasLarrynot · 16/12/2023 22:02

Apologies if this is a bit random … my (now ex) husband has been having an affair and has moved out. I’m finding the evenings quite boring to be honest and need something to keep me busy that’s not just watching tv. I’ve got a couple of things booked with people in the next couple of weeks but just after some inspiration really as I’m finding the lack of company hard to get used to (kids are older and although around some of the time have their own lives).

OP posts:

Shithole101 · 16/12/2023 22:07

How about some decorating mahe everything how you want it to be

SilverAntelope · 16/12/2023 22:10

Gym
Art class
Drawing, painting or doodling at home
Yoga or pilates class or following a YouTube vid of them at home
Read
Join a book club
Go to a pub quiz
Enrol onto an evening college course
Learn a new language
Learn to play an instrument
Have a bubble bath with scented candles and use nice moisturizer afterwards
Long shower and face or hair mask

PralinaChocs · 16/12/2023 22:14

I bake / decorate cakes. With tv on.

Bernardmanning · 16/12/2023 22:26

Do you have a cat or a dog? A bit of company might help.
Also, I would redecorate, esp your bedroom and treat yourself to some nice white crisp bedding. Create a calm sanctuary. Then a couple of nights a week have a nice hot bath or shower and retire to bed early with a good book or listen to the radio in bed.
Another good option could be joining a gym/somewhere with a nice pool and go for a relaxing swim/sauna in the evenings. That would be a nice way to meet other people for a chat too. Alternatively could you meet a friend for a swim once a week?

I would perhaps not watch TV mindlessly but do a bit of research and find some good engrossing films or series. I think having the radio on on the background a lot would help you.

Do you have a WhatsApp group on your road? You could always set one up and see if anyone else is in a similar boat and fancies watching a film/TV programme together once a week.

Pottery or an evening art class is another option. I would try for a balance of going out 2-3 nights a week for an hour or so, and a few relaxed, peaceful nights at home on your own where you relax and gradually get used to your own company.

Are you happy in your current home? Could you move into a apartment or similar so that you can hear other people coming and going? When my husband worked abroad a lot, I lived in a lovely Georgian garden apartment. We had a communal hallway and I would often leave my front door open if I fancied company or a chat. We all got on really well so it reminded me slightly of my uni days where we would pop into each others flats to watch a film etc. sometimes a smaller, but more open plan modern flat can feel cozy and more relaxing when you're on your own.

I'm sorry that you're going through this..it must be hard. But it probably won't be forever. It's just an adjustment..change is hard. X

LouLou198 · 17/12/2023 07:04

I have recently learned how to knit, I read a lot too.

Olika · 17/12/2023 07:09

Exercise classes at a local gym?

Dacadactyl · 17/12/2023 07:36

I'd try several different sports to find one I liked and then join a club for that sport.

LaunchingTeabag · 17/12/2023 08:24

Crochet and cross stitch are great ways to keep yourself busy.

i don't watch tv while I do these, just concentrate on what I'm doing or have background music on low. It's a lovely way to be mindful and you get to keep something nice at the end of it.

CharlottePimpernel · 17/12/2023 08:29

I knit. There's hundreds of vintage patterns on eBay, I like the 1940s best.

Unabletomitigate · 17/12/2023 08:45

Art is great because it is so open ended. If you fancy it start small with an art journal and do a page a night.
Or knitting is great with the radio on in the background.

Squeaky2023 · 17/12/2023 08:57

Unabletomitigate · 17/12/2023 08:45

Art is great because it is so open ended. If you fancy it start small with an art journal and do a page a night.
Or knitting is great with the radio on in the background.

This.
You can go on YouTube and do free tutorials.
I did want to say that you sound like you are winning after the split. It's great that you want to sort your life and your time doing something that has nothing to do with your ex.

Original poster

HappyasLarrynot · 19/12/2023 02:07

Thank you, all of you, some fab suggestions which I am very grateful for 😀

OP posts:

Whatwouldnanado · 19/12/2023 02:47

Choir, volunteer to help with local kids/elderly group. Night classes.

Elendel · 19/12/2023 05:07

Gaming. It's something you can do in the comfort of your own home, is flexible and can be done with or without others.

I've made some amazing friendships with people all over the world through this, too.

OwlWeiwei · 19/12/2023 05:42

Focus on things that restore your self-confidence - gym, yoga, dance class, spin, martial arts, bootcamp or pilates - do something physical at least three nights a week. Then you can get back and hace a long shower or bath.

Maybe one night a week doing journalling, Ted Talks, meditation - anything that feels uplifting.

I love doing something once a week or once a fortnight that I've never done before, from immersive theatre shows to sound baths and shamanic drumming or a showing of a classic foreign film. would that appeal to you?

Having a reset evening once a week is good too - where you pay invoices, catch up on email, order small essential items for the house, book the plumber etc. Good habit to get into if you are busy or naturally a bit disorganised or if your ex used to do this stuff. Get on top of the jobs he used to do.

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