I hate that I miss him

[Shallowtide]

I saw my ex earlier today by chance and initially got a fright because I definitely never wanted to deal with him ever again. Then I got angry, and now I just feel sad and pathetic.
He looked good and happy, and it reminded me how amazing things were when he was like this. When he wasn't a total dick just because he felt like acting like it, or when he decided to lash out. I know that most people won't understand what I mean by this but he really was mesmerizing when you had his full attention, and I felt so meaningless when I saw him doing the same with others today. Part of me feels sad and ashamed, but another one also feels angry and jealous. People like this can't ever change, can they? I just want to stop thinking about the "what if" if it is bound to end badly anyway.

Hes an Ex for a good reason.

Pause and look around at your life now
Appreciate the people who are in your life, things you have, the things you've done & achieved since you split up with him.

They don't have to big stuff, think of the small joys of daily life.

He might change , so might my ex , so can any violent abuser. But the chances are they won’t. Why take that chance ?

i get you x

You don’t miss him. You miss the person he pretends to be when he’s trying to charm someone. That’s not the real him. The real him is an absolute arsehole and you’re well rid. And you’ve certainly got nothing to feel ashamed about; he lied to you about the person he really was. He’s the one who should be feeling ashamed.

I had an ex like that and I think this feeling is normal to some extent. Your brain remembers and craves the good feelings that you once had with him.

The problem is with him, not you. You won't be the only person he behaved this way with. People like this are usually low in empathy so they don't make good partners. Remember that.

What are you missing? Why do you think seeing him made you feel that way?