Why have I grown into SUCH an antisocial person….

[Feelingcrappy2]

Not that i’ve ever been overly sociable to begin with… but since having kids I have gotten so bad!

I’m fine when I’m with people, in fact I can talk for england and having always worked in customer facing roles, I have no trouble trying to engage in conversations.

It’s more that I just never, ever make plans to meet anyone. I might occasionally think it’s a good idea but then when the time comes, 99.9% of the time I will cancel.

A friend of mine takes her child here there and everywhere with her friends. She’s always going out for the day and she loves it. I honestly could not think of anything worse.

I have 2 under 3yo, so maybe it’s just that I am tired most of the time! But even when friends call me, I see their name pop up on my phone and I have the tendency to think ‘urggghhh go away’ ?!! It’s terrible and i’m scared that one day I will really regret having this attitude. At the same time, I don’t know how to fix it!

You don't need to fix it, you're not broken. I relate, exactly the same can talk for Britain when with people and enjoy it when I'm there but dread every social event. When my kids were young I had non stop company and was v busy but found it utterly draining. Now kids are adults and I'm very anti social, hate door going, phone ringing, in a nutshell I simply can't be arsed. I'm an extraverted introvert and I'm finally OK with it. Hope you can enjoy the quiet times you have when kids are in bed or quiet, we need these times!!

You are like me
I have ADHD have you looked into that
but having two young kids can make you emotionally tired
do your friends come to see you ?

Im the same op

@PTSDBarbiegirl Thank you. I’m really grateful for that. You are honestly the only person who hasn’t told me that I need to ‘fix it’!

@Banana1979 So true re the emotional tiredness! I have a few friends that would probably make the effort to come over if I invited them, but in all honesty I can’t even seem to face that at the moment! It’s like ANY form of socialising does not appeal to me at all. I can definitely feel those friends becoming a lot more distant, which I always say is ‘sad’ but for some bizarre reason, I don’t actually feel sad about it at all. Like you say though, I think a lot of it is just down to me being tired at the end of each day and never really having the time to myself to want to make any effort with anyone other than the kids!

I am socially confident with plenty of friends and I enjoy conversation, but I find nonstop company and plans very draining. I need loads of downtime with no schedule. This weekend, I’m doing nothing until Sunday morning and it’s great. I’ve had a couple of offers of nights out tonight and tomorrow but I’ve declined.

I'm exactly the same. I'm very chatty at work / school playground / supermarket etc but I find socialising really draining and especially since having my second child I just don't have the energy for it.

Same here. Got a friend who doesn't understand this at all but l need time to recharge my batteries. Can't be with people all the time! Habe also turned down an invite to a party tomorrow nt - would rather stay in and watch the Strictly final!

Same
People keep asking "oh what did you do this weekend?"
I've spent all week in a people heavy job! I need my weekends for cooking, cleaning, food shop, other jobs, laundry, and doing nothing without people speaking to me

God i'm the same OP. Can and will chat crap to anyone anywhere ...

but don't tie me down to any plans 'cos i don't want to go 😂

In my 20s i was ok, would go out. Had 3 under 5 and a couple of mates with similar so in same boat.
My 30s - started not to want to go but went cos i though i should.
40s - started to not care what anyone else thought so stopped bothering.
Turned 50 - fully fledged antisocial bugger.