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Original poster

Men and presents (lingerie) - oh God

52 replies

mling · 15/12/2023 17:35

Appeal to all men: DO NOT BUY LINGERIE unless u know exactly what your OH wants/likes!

This must have been done to death at this time of the year but I don't know how to get over it.

My birthday cum Christmas present combined, a present from a new man. I have already opened it, pretended how happy I was but I hate EVERYTHING about it.

To top it all, can't change it and the cost is £££, I would never want it even if it was £. I expect sales assistant talked him into buying the slowest selling product in the shop. It's not bloody gold plated or even silk and it certainly does t look the price AT ALL.

OMG, when I looked up how much it was, i cried (in private), so upset about the waste. How do i tactfully handle it?

OP posts:
ChoupetteTheCat · 15/12/2023 18:32

How much did it cost if you don't mind me asking?

GrumpyPanda · 15/12/2023 18:33

Ha. OP people like your DP is exactly the clientele Victoria's Secret was set up for. Not women, in case anyone was wondering..

HangingOver · 15/12/2023 18:34

Tell him OP. I didn't and I now have about £3000 worth of Agent Provocateur underwear I NEVER wear.

ThreeRingCircus · 15/12/2023 18:34

Urgh buying lingerie is such a basic, unimaginative present. I totally agree with a PP that it's a gift for him rather than for you as he's hoping to see you wearing it.

If it's a new relationship you think he'd try to make a bit more effort to find out what you actually like.

Hereforthebunfights · 15/12/2023 18:35

I'd have laughed when I opened it and told him to send it back.

MadeOfAllWork · 15/12/2023 18:39

Nope. Tell him. And if it can’t be returned then that’s his problem.

Original poster
mling · 15/12/2023 18:40

@Laiste I think my appeal should perhaps also go to the staff in lingerie shops, something like to ask for their OH's preferences and measurements in writing from them!

OP posts:
Original poster
mling · 15/12/2023 18:47

I feel so much better to hear others' points of view and how you see it.

It's not possible to return/exchange but I will try and take him shopping if there is next time, I hate myself for lying to him and myself.

OP posts:
Laiste · 15/12/2023 18:47

Yes OP!
It would have been so helpful 😂

thenightsky · 15/12/2023 18:48

All2Well · 15/12/2023 18:16

My parents are in their mid/late 70s and haven't shared a bed in about 20 years.

My Dad recently brought my Mum back a "gift" from Hong Kong - a completely see through bright red baby doll nighty (the boob part is totally mesh) and a matching bright red ruffly frilly monstrosity of a floor length robe with a train...

It's the tackiest most vile thing I've ever seen.

Not to mention the fact she can't actually walk anymore...none of us can figure out why the heck he bought it.

He said "I thought it was an unusual and nice thing to have".

Then offered it to me.

I thought I was going to vomit. It's like something from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

My mum and I said we'll have to bin it as we're too ashamed to give it away in case people think we're "kinky".

His response?

"Do you want me to ask at the mosque if any one is getting married soon and would like it for the honeymoon?"

How the heck he thinks he (or we) could ever face the Imam again we do not know.

And no, he's not got dementia before the suggestions start. He just genuinely has never got the lingerie thing...and clearly never will.

I'm sorry, but that has made me laugh so much! 'People will think we're kinky' is exactly what my parents would have said too (both now deceased).

fairymary87 · 15/12/2023 18:49

All2Well · 15/12/2023 18:16

My parents are in their mid/late 70s and haven't shared a bed in about 20 years.

My Dad recently brought my Mum back a "gift" from Hong Kong - a completely see through bright red baby doll nighty (the boob part is totally mesh) and a matching bright red ruffly frilly monstrosity of a floor length robe with a train...

It's the tackiest most vile thing I've ever seen.

Not to mention the fact she can't actually walk anymore...none of us can figure out why the heck he bought it.

He said "I thought it was an unusual and nice thing to have".

Then offered it to me.

I thought I was going to vomit. It's like something from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

My mum and I said we'll have to bin it as we're too ashamed to give it away in case people think we're "kinky".

His response?

"Do you want me to ask at the mosque if any one is getting married soon and would like it for the honeymoon?"

How the heck he thinks he (or we) could ever face the Imam again we do not know.

And no, he's not got dementia before the suggestions start. He just genuinely has never got the lingerie thing...and clearly never will.

This has made me giggle so so so much!!!! Thank goodness he didn't take it to the mosque 😂😂😂😂

Original poster
mling · 15/12/2023 18:49

@HangingOver 😱yes, I can see it gathering dust not wanting to throw it away 🙁

OP posts:
Original poster
mling · 15/12/2023 18:51

@Koalatreats wise advice, thank you!

OP posts:
Beinghonestforonce · 15/12/2023 18:54

All2Well · 15/12/2023 18:16

My parents are in their mid/late 70s and haven't shared a bed in about 20 years.

My Dad recently brought my Mum back a "gift" from Hong Kong - a completely see through bright red baby doll nighty (the boob part is totally mesh) and a matching bright red ruffly frilly monstrosity of a floor length robe with a train...

It's the tackiest most vile thing I've ever seen.

Not to mention the fact she can't actually walk anymore...none of us can figure out why the heck he bought it.

He said "I thought it was an unusual and nice thing to have".

Then offered it to me.

I thought I was going to vomit. It's like something from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

My mum and I said we'll have to bin it as we're too ashamed to give it away in case people think we're "kinky".

His response?

"Do you want me to ask at the mosque if any one is getting married soon and would like it for the honeymoon?"

How the heck he thinks he (or we) could ever face the Imam again we do not know.

And no, he's not got dementia before the suggestions start. He just genuinely has never got the lingerie thing...and clearly never will.

Best thing I've read on mumsnet!! Wow i wonder whats going through his head!? Its like he's never met women...or imams

Fannysmygranny · 15/12/2023 19:08

Speak up and laugh it off as much as possible if you think he's otherwise sound..buy him a cock ring or a packet of viagra if you want to give him a taste of his own medicine before leaving him

Lolalady · 15/12/2023 19:10

I question when men buy underwear as a gift who they are actually buying it for!! The bet is that it’s because it’s what they want you to wear not what you want to wear!

Original poster
mling · 15/12/2023 19:10

😂cock ring & viagra

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 15/12/2023 19:13

mling · 15/12/2023 18:47

I feel so much better to hear others' points of view and how you see it.

It's not possible to return/exchange but I will try and take him shopping if there is next time, I hate myself for lying to him and myself.

You should tell him the truth

But you will end up having to because he'll ask you to wear it

Queucumber · 15/12/2023 19:18

All2Well · 15/12/2023 18:16

My parents are in their mid/late 70s and haven't shared a bed in about 20 years.

My Dad recently brought my Mum back a "gift" from Hong Kong - a completely see through bright red baby doll nighty (the boob part is totally mesh) and a matching bright red ruffly frilly monstrosity of a floor length robe with a train...

It's the tackiest most vile thing I've ever seen.

Not to mention the fact she can't actually walk anymore...none of us can figure out why the heck he bought it.

He said "I thought it was an unusual and nice thing to have".

Then offered it to me.

I thought I was going to vomit. It's like something from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

My mum and I said we'll have to bin it as we're too ashamed to give it away in case people think we're "kinky".

His response?

"Do you want me to ask at the mosque if any one is getting married soon and would like it for the honeymoon?"

How the heck he thinks he (or we) could ever face the Imam again we do not know.

And no, he's not got dementia before the suggestions start. He just genuinely has never got the lingerie thing...and clearly never will.

That’s hilarious.

Fannysmygranny · 15/12/2023 19:22

This is totally a present for him, if he's bought you other thoughtful stuff, call him cheeky or naive, but have the conversation. If its your main present ltb unless you have an agreement to be a sex slave ;(

Darklane · 15/12/2023 19:27

Just say, sorry it’s not my style. Why don’t you keep it, you could wear it on your nights out, do you want to borrow a pair of my heels to go with it?

GarlicMaybeNot · 15/12/2023 19:42

Sorry, OP, your new boyfriend's been upstaged by @All2Well's Dad 😂

I'm simultaneously cringeing and laughing at both stories, though! You're going to have to tell him "Thanks, but it's not my style. At all."

Mind you, XH2 was the one and only man who bought me undies I actually liked AND in the right size. I took it as a very good sign. Turned out his OW chose them. She had better taste in underwear than in men ... and so did I 🙄

GarlicMaybeNot · 15/12/2023 19:42

Darklane · 15/12/2023 19:27

Just say, sorry it’s not my style. Why don’t you keep it, you could wear it on your nights out, do you want to borrow a pair of my heels to go with it?

😂

Thepossibility · 15/12/2023 19:52

I agree it's actually a present for him. Get him some washing up gloves for Christmas and say it would be so sexy for you to watch him clean
.
My DH would've done this shit in the early days. It's also expected that when you wear them (at his suggestion) the sex will be kinkier than you would necessarily want on a Wednesday night. You are more expected to “perform" for him.

AKAanothername · 15/12/2023 19:52

There was a shop local to me where you could go in and give your name and knicker/bra size so that your DH could choose a gift and you'd at least get the right size. No guarantee that it would be your style but at least it would fit.