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Original poster

How much do you spend on friends children at Christmas?

67 replies

harrychees · 15/12/2023 11:40

I only buy for my close friends kids.
She has 2 boys (12-5)
It's the eldest birthday today and I got him a £20 PlayStation gift card (mum said he would love this )
For Christmas I have got them both a nice pair of pjs from M&S and the youngest a toy and plan on getting the eldest another PlayStation gift card
Is £10 gift card enough for Christmas with the pjs or shall I get a £20 ?
I don't want to appear stingy but it all adds up
I've also got them both a small selection box and a chocolate Santa each
Is this okay ?
Would you do the £10 or £20 gift card

OP posts:
CyberCritical · 15/12/2023 11:44

We don't do presents for friends kids, and none of our friends do presents for our kid either.

Maybe to time to establish new expectations.

DarkAcademia · 15/12/2023 11:44

I wouldn’t do the gift card at all - the pj’s are ample. Amazed that your friend suggested £20 for his birthday right before Christmas too. 😮 Unless you are all very high earners of course - these things are relative, I suppose.

I do not buy for my friends’ children at all. I will this year, because one couple that we’re really close to had a baby and I will absolutely get her something.

Original poster
harrychees · 15/12/2023 11:46

Not a high earner at all -I wish 🤣
So that's why I kind of only want to do the £10 gift card because it's all adding up
My friend spends £50 plus on me so I feel like I have to match it.
The amount of times I've said let's stick to £20 limit
She never listens

OP posts:

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Christmas Events & celebrations General shopping
Katiesaidthat · 15/12/2023 11:49

Zero.

elizzza · 15/12/2023 11:52

I think just the PJs is perfect. I buy for friends’ kids (and vice versa), just one gift of less than £10, something like a book/lego figure/Pokemon cards.

I also have a friend (who doesn’t have kids) who always way overspends on gifts for me. She’s so lovely and generous, but I’ve felt the pressure to match it in the past - you just have to accept that you’ve tried to set a limit and if she ignores it that’s her decision. Spend the £20 you suggested. If she feels disappointed she’ll scale it back a bit next year!

MissMoo2222 · 15/12/2023 12:08

£10/£20 depending on how I am for money.

PJs from M&S are more than enough!

feelingalittlehorse · 15/12/2023 12:18

I have an extremely fertile group of friends…. So no, nothing. We’d end up spending hundreds.

megletthesecond · 15/12/2023 12:19

£0

PamelaParis · 15/12/2023 12:22

I don't buy anything for my friends' kids. But in your case, I would go with the £10 gift card. And seriously reset boundaries well in time for next Christmas.

caringcarer · 15/12/2023 12:28

CyberCritical · 15/12/2023 11:44

We don't do presents for friends kids, and none of our friends do presents for our kid either.

Maybe to time to establish new expectations.

This

Greenbriar · 15/12/2023 12:30

Zero

ExpensiveDecorations · 15/12/2023 12:43

I stopped buying for friends DCs pretty early on as people started having second DC and it all threatened to spiral out of control. It was a bit awkward for a year or so but so much easier in the long run.

FractiousPangolin · 15/12/2023 12:49

We have one family we're very close to - almost think of them as cousins, in fact. I spent £20 each on the kids, plus gifts for the parents. They are the only non-relatives we exchange gifts with.

mindutopia · 15/12/2023 12:50

None. Actually don't buy for any children in the wider family either - though all of them are distant cousins, we don't have an nieces/nephews. I think £10 would be absolutely sufficient.

3WildOnes · 15/12/2023 12:58

I spend about £5 each on 7 children who aren't family. 2 of them I have bought a book for. 5 of them I have bought a selection box and then another small gift colouring book, nail varnish etc. I have spent £10 on one non family child.
I spend between £10 and £20 on family children.

MumChp · 15/12/2023 12:59

We only gift one child outside close family so £20.

DGPP · 15/12/2023 12:59

Zero on friends kids. I think a £10 gift card with PJs is perfect

user1492757084 · 15/12/2023 13:05

You need to stick to the 20 limit. As you suggest it, you need to take it seriously. No gift card is necessary.
Your friend is quite rude to spend too much and put pressure on you to break your Christmas budget.

I do not buy Xmas gifts at all for friend's children. If you have the means to buy for lots of kids then a 10 limit is ample.
Can you not make some gingerbread men?

pinkcandycane · 15/12/2023 13:05

I gift for my best friends child and DH's best friends two, they get roughly £20-£30 each spent on them. They all do the same for our two, we only gift children not the adults and it's been that way since we started having children.

CatamaranViper · 15/12/2023 13:06

Depends on the friend!

Close friends I'll spend £20 on, other friends I'll spend £10.

Though I don't buy for all my friends kids. They need to be a child I know and who knows me

Motheranddaughter · 15/12/2023 13:07

Between 30 and 40 quid

HellOfAnAngel · 15/12/2023 13:07

About £50 each now they’re teens, it used to be about £30 when they were younger. We don’t have nieces and nephews to buy for.

GigiAnnna · 15/12/2023 13:08

Nothing anymore. For one of my friends I buy a nice tin of chocolate biscuits for her and her kids but that's it. I've got 4 children and most of my friends who have kids have at least 3 or more so it was getting too much.

ThreeRingCircus · 15/12/2023 13:10

I only buy for one friend and her DD at Christmas and it's a bottle of wine for friend and £10 max on her DD. PJs or a book are absolutely fine!

I actually want to knock buying these presents on the head next year as it just feels wasteful really and not necessary. I was too late this year and she'd already bought my DDs gifts before I said can we stop this please.

idontlikealdi · 15/12/2023 14:14

feelingalittlehorse · 15/12/2023 12:18

I have an extremely fertile group of friends…. So no, nothing. We’d end up spending hundreds.

Same! We do birthdays if there is a party but otherwise not

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