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Original poster

Please help me find something for my amazing friend!

20 replies

Hangfail · 14/12/2023 22:43

My dh died and in July I moved from the family home of 24 years to a smaller, and tbh, pretty grotty house.

My friend helped me from the minute I said I was thinking of selling. She helped me with form filling, appointing agents, getting the house ready to sell, with packing, shifting furniture, doing tip runs - you name it, she helped me with it.

I moved in to this house and absolutely hated it. But over the last few months she has helped me transform it. You name it, she helped me with it! She has spent so much time and effort here that I want to get her something lovely. I was thinking of something that I could keep here, but that was hers, that she could use or have every time she came over. She's invested so much here that I want her to feel like it's a home from home almost!

Any ideas please? They will be much appreciated! Thank you :).

OP posts:
Original poster
Hangfail · 14/12/2023 22:44

Oh I meant to say that I have taken her out for a few lunches, and tried to be helpful to her with things like walking her dog or collecting her dc, or anything really that I could do to help. Don't want you all to think I've taken advantage!

OP posts:
Cantdoitallperfectly · 14/12/2023 22:44

I have no idea just now but wanted to say she sounds like the most amazing friend. I’m sorry for the loss of your DH.

Original poster
Hangfail · 14/12/2023 22:46

Thank you @Cantdoitallperfectly. And she is, yes. I feel so lucky to have friends like her.

OP posts:
Houseplanter · 14/12/2023 22:47

How about a lovely pair of sheepskin slippers?

Is she likely to stay over? A dressing gown and some pjs to leave at yours?

Plant something in your garden, like a rose that has her name.. David Austin Roses is your best bet

Switchingoff · 14/12/2023 22:48

Special personalised mug (pic of the dog?) for her to use while there?

Loubelle70 · 14/12/2023 22:51

Spa day for you both x

ArchetypalBusyMum · 14/12/2023 22:52

Wow. What an amazing friendship.
Personally to feel 'home from home' somewhere I love to have 'my' mug... So a mug that is the type, colour and shape I like best which is automatically used for me when I visit.
Perhaps slippers too if the floor is cold, ditto, the right kind.
Mundane I know but gives me that 'home' feeling.
I think it's the little things that give you the special welcome.

Then if you want to really push the boat out for how special she is and ask the support she's given, you could treat her to a wonderful day out that is her type of thing. Tea for two at fancy place, or Ghyll scrambling, or hot air balloon ride or ghost tour of city... Y' know whatever is her thing.

Original poster
Hangfail · 14/12/2023 22:54

Thank you so much - I was thinking of a mug so I'll get her one. Loving the slippers idea too, and the rose!

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 14/12/2023 22:56

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I’d love a pair of slippers somewhere I visited regularly.

DelilahBucket · 14/12/2023 22:58

Not something to necessarily keep at yours, but I bought "a fucking medal" for a dear friend of mine who has done a lot. She is the type who would appreciate such an item though, some may not 😂

Original poster
Hangfail · 14/12/2023 22:59

Thank you @Rainallnight.

I was probably unclear in my op and should have specified that it's actually 2 years now since dh died :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Hangfail · 14/12/2023 23:00

DelilahBucket · 14/12/2023 22:58

Not something to necessarily keep at yours, but I bought "a fucking medal" for a dear friend of mine who has done a lot. She is the type who would appreciate such an item though, some may not 😂

Would you mind sharing where you got it from please - I think she'd like that!

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 14/12/2023 23:02

Hangfail · 14/12/2023 22:59

Thank you @Rainallnight.

I was probably unclear in my op and should have specified that it's actually 2 years now since dh died :(

I hope you don’t mind me saying I don’t think that’s much time at all, and you still deserve condolences ♥️

DelilahBucket · 15/12/2023 09:08

Hangfail · 14/12/2023 23:00

Would you mind sharing where you got it from please - I think she'd like that!

Show quote history

I got it from loveandstardust.com

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 15/12/2023 09:15

I'm so sorry for your loss.

A nice mug is a gorgeous idea, especially if you know the kind she favours. Another idea would be a dressing gown - too big to take away in a suitcase to visit somebody, but lovely to have to hand.

DilemmaDelilah · 15/12/2023 10:06

My only thought is whether she might think that getting her a present that is for her use at your house is an expectation that she will be spending time there. It would be lovely for her to have her own mug at your place, but perhaps better just to produce it as a matter of course when she is with you rather than making it a specific present? And then get her something else entirely which she can choose to use and leave at your house, or not, whatever she feels like.
I wouldn't want to feel that somebody expected me to continue giving the same amount of support and help - even if I was quite happy to do that. However I am autistic so feel free to ignore me!

Original poster
Hangfail · 15/12/2023 10:50

Thank you for further messages - appreciate them all.

@Rainallnight you are very kind - truthfully, some days it feels like it happened only yesterday :(.

OP posts:
kerstina · 15/12/2023 11:00

How much is your budget OP?

LaurieStrode · 16/12/2023 17:40

What is your budget?
What is her style? What's her home like?

If you can afford it, a thin gold chain with a little charm or semi-precious stone pendant like a garnet. For a "gem" of a friend, so to speak. Something she can wear with jeans. Maybe inscribed.

Spa day would be nice too. Or, if you can swing it, a weekend away, your treat.

It would help to know what you wish to spend. If your budget is lower, the very nice slippers (for home, not your house) is something that many of us would enjoy receiving. A heated throw.

If she's into DIY, are there any tools she is lacking? Those new battery-powered versions of saws, sanding tools, drills, etc. are wonderful to have round the house.

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