Does anyone else badly need their Christmas spirit jump-starting? Can we inspire each other?

[sprigatito]

I'm normally a massive Christmas person, by this time in December I'm usually deeply engrossed in baking, sweetmaking, homemade decorations etc. The tree would normally have gone up a week ago. This year I just feel so flat and sad and empty. The tree arrived yesterday and we haven't decorated it yet. The only Christmas baking I've done is the Christmas cake.

There are various things bothering me I suppose... just getting over covid again, ds2 is working on Christmas Eve so our usual traditions won't happen for the first time ever. I had my dad's partner on the phone this morning upset because his Alzheimer's is getting worse really quickly and she's had to break the news to him all over again that his best friend died last year. He's arriving here on the 19th to spend Christmas ( his partner will go and have a break with her daughter and join us on the 28th) and I'm nervous about looking after him and making sure he takes his medication etc. DH is working crazy hours (we both work from home) and is so stressed, his asthma is worse since Covid and I'm worried about him. Both adult dc are here and I just want my mojo back, I want to fill the house with Christmas and make everyone feel better...but I also want to go back to bed and not have to see anyone 😞

Is anyone else struggling this year? Can we have some solidarity and maybe give each other a boost?

I read a book the other day called The Shite Before Christmas which was quite funny and got me into the Christmassy mood

I can’t be fucked either. I like this thread so thank you Op, as it’s good to know it’s not just me.
(There are reasons which I can’t even be bothered boring everyone one with).
But nope, not feeling it.

I think it's alright to sometimes not be bothered and just not feel it. The pressure to be organised, enthusiastic and to spend loads of money isn't really something I pay attention to anymore.

This year we realised our presents are mostly just crap we don't need, and we tend to order what we really want throughout the year anyway, so it's all going into saving for a house - less stuff to move too!

We realised last year that carrying on my deceased mother's tradition of smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and champagne for breakfast was for her, not us. Neither of us really enjoy large amounts of smoked salmon, it's kind of gross with warm egg anyway, and I really struggle to have an appetite before 2pm. So, this year, we are probably going to have cheesecake for breakfast - something he will actually look forward to eating, nobody has to cook, and I can ignore if I am not hungry.

I would take cooking a bit more seriously but his gluten intolerance coupled with our naff cooker make it more effort than it is worth. Anything nice in an Xmas dinner has gluten.

Lunch will probably be anti pasti. Possibly served in bed. Certainly not laid out on a fancy table. And cheese. Lots of cheese.

Haven't got the tree up and probably won't.

I am looking forward to three weeks of lie ins and absolutely minimal effort. It's probably the best treat/break we can give ourselves in fact: zero expectations and pressures.

Perhaps next year we will go away somewhere lovely and pay for someone else to serve up a five course meal.

I think I only ever had Xmas mojo in the first place because of external pressures. Now that they're not there anymore, dossing around and doing very little makes me feel pretty good, when all those around are flapping around like headless chickens!

I absolutely appreciate that those with kids have much less choice about making a fuss and this reply is no judgement on any of you.

We both come from pretty dysfunctional families where Xmas felt more like an endurance test than a happy, heartwarming time of year when we can't wait to spend time with loved ones, so I guess it's no surprise we have gone the other way these days.

It's alright to go to Lapland as adults with no kids, right? That would be nice.

Haven’t got the Christmas spirit this year. Feel overwhelmed by everything. Haven’t even put the tree up. Have made the Christmas cake but not decorated it, some people don’t like icing, some don’t like marzipan, so I am probably just going to put a ribbon round it. I don’t even like Christmas cake, but would eat the icing and marzipan!
Have got an advent calendar which I made years ago which you fill, but haven’t even bothered to fill it completely and there are still chocolates in the pockets for beginning of December which no-one has eaten (I don’t eat nuts otherwise I would have scoffed them!)
Don’t know whether it is because DS is at university this year so wasn’t here at the beginning of December and it has thrown me off kilter. He’s home now so I should be happy but just don’t have the Christmas spirit

Im struggling
I changed roles at work 6 weeks ago, and new job is super busy and stressful ( I knew it would be , and thats finem, but it has impacted my christmas spirit!)
Then to top it all off my Dad passed away on Monday.He was 90 and had been declining since October so it wasnt unexpected but still obviously a massive bow. So that has really been the final straw tbh. I went back to work yesterday, but after today Im off for 2 weeks which Im glad about. This is actually the frist year in ages Ive managed to have the full 2 weeks off and now Im so glad I managed to book that as I just really need a break.
Thankfully we did get the tree up on Saturday before events took a turn for the worse, so that at least looks festive.
Got 2 teens at home, plus 21 yr old that finished uni inthe summer and is back at home. Then student dd is coming home on Saturday and 2 adult dc will be arrving at various points next week. So actually I am really looking forward to us all just being together as that feels extra special this year.Just hoping I dont ruin it all for everyone by being too sad. Although they would of course understand.
Think I will make some mince pies next week, then finish the wrapping and of course will spend some time just chilling with some Chritmas films. I also need to ice the Christmas cake!
I find lighting a nice christmas scented candle helps, gentle christmas music in the background. A good cheesy Christmas film whist wrapping gifts.

I'm sorry for your loss @prettycosmos Even when it's expected, it's still sad and a body blow.

I'm so sorry for your loss @prettycosmos . Sending you a gentle hug.

And a gentle hug for you too, @sprigatito

I'm usually Mrs Christmas too, the Christmas Planner comes out in September, but am not feeling it this year either.

The tree and all decorations are up. The cards are written and posted. The Christmas pudding has been made. All presents are wrapped. Christmas carol CD in the car. Christmas jumper being worn. The turkey is ordered, and the rest of the shopping list has been written.

But I'm still not feeling it.

Doesn't help that the school I work in doesn't break up until the middle of next week, and is back on the 2nd. For the first time in loving memory, we don't get two weeks off.

So. Am just going to go with it. Everything is basically ready, so I should be able to carve out a couple of hours to just "be"

I am planning on getting up 30 mins earlier, each day, so I can be quiet and sit by the light of the Christmas tree, with a peaceful cuppa.

It seems to be pretty widespread this year. It’s certainly me.
I’ve hardly done anything yet & can’t work up the enthusiasm. Christmas used to be such a big deal for me. Because we have livestock all the family used to descend on us as we couldn’t leave the animals to fend for themselves. So it was a hectic time, getting rooms ready, cooking, baking, decorating the place before everyone descended on Christmas Eve to stay till just before ( sometime after 🙁) New Year. All the time still having to be up before dawn for milking, feeding, mucking out etc, then in to start preparing lunch. Everyone else was having a great relaxing time, never so much as offering to peel a spud or a sprout or help with the clearing up. Then they’d want an evening meal as well, then more milking, feeding & bedding down.
Now though most of them have gone, died or moved away. So last couple of years just been me & DH & have quite enjoyed being more relaxed about it all but this year just can’t be bothered. Haven’t baked a cake, yours looks lovely, bought presents but not wrapped any. No tree nor a decoration, think I’m turning Bah Humbug 😳
Just feel like strangling Dawn French & her mittens!

@sprigatito Your cake is great I love it!

I hope you don’t think me insensitive, I have a lot of my family members had Alzheimer’s over the years. At work I was talking to a mental health nurse where we were helping with someone who had to keep being told his wife died 10 years previously. She said sometimes it’s easier to not tell them anymore so they don’t have to keep reliving the grief. It made me wonder if this would be better. I hope your dad and his partner have a good Christmas too x

I watched the Office Christmas specials and had a good old ugly cry as usual.

But now I actually feel Christmassy! Just need to buy decorations now 😂

I definitely don't think you're insensitive, it's great advice and I appreciate it. I think you're right, it's better to just nod along with Dad and make him feel comfortable rather than keep correcting him or reminding him of distressing things. This has been really difficult with his partner, who is wonderful and adores him, but struggles not to pick him up on every little thing, which makes him lose confidence and stop talking. We are gently encouraging her to "go with it" a bit more, but we don't want to be too critical of her, she's 80 herself and is the one dealing with it all every day. It's really hard for everyone. She does have support from a carers group and a dementia nurse which is good, but I worry that things are about to get a lot tougher.

Hugs for @prettycosmos and anyone else who is dealing with bereavement 💕

Very sorry about your Dad @prettycosmos 💐

Hey everyone, how are we all doing?

We had guests over yesterday afternoon. The only decorations up were the tree, our Christmas cards and one lit scented candle. Not even a wreath by the front door. No homemade food, just bought in mince pies, cake and bits … and I have to say it actually felt good! Relaxed, informal and peaceful. I felt a bit guilty we hadn’t gone to more trouble with all the extras, but no-one seemed to notice & we all had a lovely time together. I’m feeling more confident that a much pared down Christmas is going to be acceptable, possible and I may even enjoy it a bit.

Im feeling really sad and flat this year . Hope it shifts soon.

@JaneEyreBedHair that sounds lovely ❤️

I had a better day yesterday, a very old friend unexpectedly messaged to say she was in my city for a couple of days and would I like to meet up for a drink. I had to force myself to go, but I am so glad I did, it cheered me up a lot. Have promised to make mince pies with ds1 today and make paper snowflakes.

Excellent news ❤️

(my reply was to @sprigatito )

To all of us feeling low, weak, sick, broke … whatever it may be right now, let’s just be kind to ourselves over this festive season and try to take one day at a time. X

@ssd - I think many of us seem to be feeling like that. It's tough, isn't it?

Someone said on another thread that it doesn't help that weather this year seems to have been unremittingly grey and miserable. I know there have been good days but for the last couple of months it feels like every day has been under a grey wet blanket.

I've got the cards up, the lights are in a heap on the sitting room floor and I keep looking at them and thinking 'should get those up and make the place a bit more cheerful' - but really? can't be bothered.

I thought about starting a similar thread the other day.

I'm just not bothered by Christmas this year. DDog isn't very well and it is upsetting DH and me very much. I miss my DDad this time of year too. As a result I'm not feeling particularly joyful.

I'm not even feeling B'ah humbug, just sad.

I'm usually Mrs Christmas too, suffering with anaemia and just keep flaking out, worried as to what's causing it and having tests so very distracted.

So sorry for all those struggling and coping with elderly parents and bereavement xx

I got dragged along to a Chamber music Christmas concert in a church last night (by my religious mother) and it really helped move me into the Christmas vibe. At the end end we all sang Adeste Fideles in Latin and it was hilarious as no one knew how to pronounce the words properly 😂