"A reverse" | Mumsnet

JackiePx · 2023-12-14T16:34:39+00:00

Hi, I've seen people describe a description of something that happened as a sounding like "a reverse" - I've search on Mumsnet and asked Mr Google what is meant, but without success. What does it mean please?

kneesdonthurt · 14/12/2023 16:36

In short, a 'daughter' might come on and moan about her terrible 'mother' but there's just something about the way it's worded which leads people to think it's actually the mother really posting, trying to get people's opinions on her daughter...if that makes sense?!

KatBurglar · 14/12/2023 16:37

It’s when someone posts disingenuously from the opposite perspective.

”My ungrateful DIL complained to my son when I bought her a perfectly good Christmas present from the charity shop for 50p. She bought me a cashmere scarf. AIBU to think she’s too grabby?”

BoohooWoohoo · 14/12/2023 16:38

It means writing a story in a way that makes you think that person telling the story needs the advice.

So say a story starts with “I took my child to her friend Ellie’s birthday. “ It appears that OP’s child is a guest but OP is really Ellie’s mum and trying to see if she is unreasonable or not by pretending that she’s someone else.

AutumnCrow · 14/12/2023 16:38

Say you have a row with your MiL, and you want to post on MN about it. You decide to pretend to be the MiL to tell the story, rather than yourself.

That's 'a reverse'. They're a bit bonkers because (a) what's the point, other that drumming up support in a less than honest way? and (b) the more egregious examples break talk guidelines.

KatBurglar · 14/12/2023 16:40

To be fair, they are no more annoying that “Person A did this and Person B did that and who is unreasonable?”

Original poster

JackiePx · 14/12/2023 16:42

Thanks for answers, much appreciated.

OP posts:

AutumnCrow · 14/12/2023 16:43

The reverses are also annoying because the OP reveals the reverse after a while, but dozens and dozens of posters on the app don't see the update and just plough on with their opinions on the basis of the opening post.

hsapposhit · 14/12/2023 17:30

Quite often a "reverse" happens when someone has posted something and got their ass handed to them on a plate. Then they suddenly say "Got to own up. It was a reverse". I've seen that happen a lot.

A proper reverse is, as others have said, when there's some kind of dispute between two people and the OP describes the situation from the point of view of the other person instead of from their own perspective.
It's fucking annoying.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 14/12/2023 17:34

AutumnCrow · 14/12/2023 16:43

The reverses are also annoying because the OP reveals the reverse after a while, but dozens and dozens of posters on the app don't see the update and just plough on with their opinions on the basis of the opening post.

Posters on the app, posters who could have used the See all OP posts option but didn’t notice it & posters who pride themselves on only ever replying to the opening post, even if it’s 200 posts & three weeks later.

trulyunruly01 · 14/12/2023 17:35

Often, someone posts a reverse because they know already they're being unreasonable.
They want to make out they're the one on the receiving end of the badness, but really they're the instigator.
"My best friend told me I looked like a pig in my new party dress and now wonders why I won't speak to her"
OP told her own best friend she looked like a pig in the new party dress. OP is now best friend-less.

HomburgandTrilby · 14/12/2023 17:55

KatBurglar · 14/12/2023 16:40

To be fair, they are no more annoying that “Person A did this and Person B did that and who is unreasonable?”

Or, ‘My friends — I will call them Lucy, Amy and Francesca, and their DH’s Bill, Dave and Ludovico’. After which an interminable story of who said what about whom at the barbecue to which Pam didn’t invite Lucy’s BF or where Dave made a pass at Amy’s daughter Chloe’s friend Izzy over the naice sausages…

hsapposhit · 14/12/2023 18:10

HomburgandTrilby · 14/12/2023 17:55

Or, ‘My friends — I will call them Lucy, Amy and Francesca, and their DH’s Bill, Dave and Ludovico’. After which an interminable story of who said what about whom at the barbecue to which Pam didn’t invite Lucy’s BF or where Dave made a pass at Amy’s daughter Chloe’s friend Izzy over the naice sausages…

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I can't stand this either.
"We were at a party with a couple we know. Let's call them Sarah and Paul"
It's the use of "let's call them" and then somehow the names always seem unrealistic.
Even worse is when the poster tries to disguise the person's sex and writes "they" all the time. "My partner has been out all night and hasn't come home. They went out drinking with friends. They went to a club and now I can't contact them on their phone".
Just fucking use he or she for fuck's sake.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 14/12/2023 18:14

I can’t stand the ‘they’ thing, it could mean the person uses they / them pronouns or that we’re actually talking about more than one person, & then the OP will nearly always forget at some point, use she or he & go back to they again. If you’re trying to throw people off the scent just use the opposite sex pronoun & stick to it.

IncompleteSenten · 14/12/2023 18:15

What bugs me is the blatant attempt at manipulation that is part of a reverse.

They spin the story that is in no way how the person they're pretending to be would see it, in order to get the most outraged replies so they can feel validated.

That alone always makes me feel they're actually probably the arsehole in the situation they've described because you have to be a certain type to try to manipulate the desired responses out of people

Original poster

JackiePx · 14/12/2023 18:29

Thanks for extra replies too, much appreciated.

OP posts: