I can’t socialise in loud, crowded environment - is it just me?

[Notcontent]

I went to my work Christmas drinks tonight. It wasn’t a sit down dinner - just standing around in a room with drinks, finger food and very loud music. I really struggle in that sort of environment. I don’t think there is anything wrong with my hearing! But I struggle to hear people’s conversations. To be honest I find the pressure of moving between different groups to chat quite hard anyway but having loud music makes it even harder. I left after 2 hours but felt like maybe there is something wrong with me….

I wouldn’t mind so much if I could actually make myself heard. I don’t have a particularly quiet or weak voice when I’m talking normally, but I can’t raise the volume for loud environments (not through want of trying) so I’m effectively muted in these situations unless I strain to shout which only works up to a point. I’m also short so in this particular scenario the conversations would be going on above my head.

I used to try and stick these things out, yelling directly into someone’s ear and hoping for the best, but I can’t be bothered any longer. I am in a hobby group that meets in a pub once a month - there was a change of venue a while back to somewhere noisier and I’ve been put off lingering now. No point if I can’t talk.

I am neurotypical as far as I know and I absolutely hate noisy crowded environments, where you have to yell in people's ears and vice versa. Clubs and so on.

Me too can't stand it, would rather sit down meal a chat and a few people x

I’m the same - struggle to hear and struggle to talk in this sort of environment. I thought maybe it’s because English was my second language or my hearing was getting worse, even went to Boots for check up but was told that it’s fine.

I can't make out what people are saying in places like that, either, even if I can hear them speaking. Even when I was young, I disliked night clubs, as I couldn't hear anything. Even if there's no music, just loud conversation, I struggle.

I haven't been to see a band for ages, but I always used to use earplugs, I could hear perfectly well, but didn't get two days of a ringing head.

So no, you're not odd!

my idea of hell😕

The other night friends and I were out for dinner, and we had just commented on how nice it was as the music was audible but easy to talk over. What a great find, happy to have found somewhere, must come back etc etc.

Then 8pm - bam - they tuned the volume up so high it was impossible to talk. Nice high end tapas kinda place not in the slightest bit clubby. Bonkers. I just don't get it.

Same. My recent work Christmas party was like this. All the screaming over all the noise is hellish.
I also stopped going to a very nice brunch spot for this reason. Who wants to have brunch in a club with a side order of deaf?

Am late 50s but have always struggled with background noise. It is very normal 😊

The older I get the more this stresses me. I hate having to nod along and try and get the gist of what people are saying, and then shout to make myself heard. It’s exhausting. I also find these days I’m struggling when multiple conversations are going on around me too. Much prefer a smaller group where I can concentrate and enjoy the company.

I am the same.
I cannot fully follow conversations in loud environments. And I only get what the other said just a fraction of a second later, so I do not laugh or react as I would normally. I can hear, but not catch all the words.
It is sad and frustrating.

I hate it too. If I'm going somewhere to dance then loud music is fine but otherwise I want to have a conversation without straining to hear!!

I hate it. I even got my hearing checked because I was so worried about it but apparently it’s in the normal range. Left my work party early for this reason.

I started using earplugs a few years back and it takes the edge off the noise which helps for comfort. It doesn't help with the mental jigsaw of piecing together a conversation and optomisitic smiling and nodding as though I have a clue about what's going on.

For dancing, it's fine. For standing and chatting it's hard work. I hate standing anyway; I need to move. In bars, you expect it, but noisy restaurants are an abomination. Some years ago we went for a big family meal to a gastro pub where I was bored witless for 2 hours as I just couldn't participate in conversation with booming music echoing off bare wood and plaster. We tried complaining about the volume but it was apparently impossible for them to turn it down. After having children in my early 30s, I seemed to run out of mental energy to battle through conversation, and tend to just shut down. Even in quieter circumstances, it's still hard to chat along a long table.

That’s my idea of hell. I’ve spent so many nights at similar work dos wishing to be anywhere else!