Having to keep my shoes on to avoid showing holes in my socks

Glasgiw · 2023-12-12T18:28:46+00:00

This time of year reminds me of when I was in my teens. We went to a friends house, it was a New Year’s Eve party. I realised too late that I’d need to take my shoes off but I had terrible holes in my socks. So I said I had to keep my shoes on. Embarrassing, not sure if people guessed why. Other times I’d pretend I’d eaten to avoid spending on food. Anyone else been through things like this?

MintJulia · 12/12/2023 18:32

The first year at uni, it snowed heavily just before Christmas. I went home that weekend, and got told off by my mum for travelling through the snow in trainers, and getting my feet soaked.

She didn't know the trainers were the only pair of shoes I owned, and I didn't have the heart to tell her. She was even more skint than me.

Frequency · 12/12/2023 18:36

I have lived like this. I remember having to wear leggings under my jeans or two pairs of leggings at once to hide the holes where they had worn out.

Fortunately, I am in a much better situation now. If you send a PM I'd be happy to Amazon you a multipack of socks. And I do realise that is not why you started the thread before the troll hunters turn up. I am sure if you wanted freebies you'd have aimed a bit higher than some cheap socks 😂

MondayIgotNothingToDo · 12/12/2023 18:38

I remember pawning off my CDs to afford food. I was 18.

reallyworriedjobhunter · 12/12/2023 18:41

Yes. Threadbare clothes and holey socks all the time when I was child. I once fell over in the school playground and my skirt flew up and everyone saw that my tights had huge holes in the crotch.

Things are better now and whenever I see my kids socks are wearing out I make a point of throwing them away. Every time I do I think of me as a little girl with no one caring about holes in my socks.

Hugs.

CharlottePimpernel · 12/12/2023 18:49

I used to darn my tights for school.

Original poster

Glasgiw · 12/12/2023 19:28

@Frequency thanks - that’s so sweet, but I can afford socks now. This time of year just reminds me of it - the friend had a nice carpet and I felt rubbish insisting on keeping my shoes on but was just so embarrassed. I’m glad my own kids don’t have to go through it.
But I know some families still do, a mum at the school gates mentioned not taking her ds to a party because she couldn’t afford a present :( I’d have offered her something to give but she didn’t mention it till afterwards.
I am still not rich but just grateful I don’t have to make up lies anymore to avoid embarrassment at being poor

OP posts:

Original poster

Glasgiw · 12/12/2023 19:31

Another one was doing work experience at school in a solicitors office. I got good grades for all categories (interest, being on time, helpful etc) but a lower mark for appearance. I tried my best but just couldn’t afford a suitable workplace outfit

OP posts:

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 12/12/2023 19:54

I remember living on 22p fishfingers, £1 fir 1kg chips so all the shitty end bits, and 9p beans for weeks when I left an ex.

I didn't eat fishfingers for years after that.

Also, value spread. I thank my stars that I can afford real butter now.

CharlottePimpernel · 12/12/2023 20:33

Value spread!
In my early 20s I lived with a useless wastrel and we had £2.50 a week for food out of my wages after everything else. We lived on Tesco value bread, oven chips, ketchup and spread. It was bloody awful.
I'm still skint, but less so, and it's butter all the way now!

tescocreditcard · 12/12/2023 20:40

It's the small humiliations like this that sting and we remember for years and years.

When I was a teenager the other girls and me used to go clothes shopping on a saturday and they were better off than me. My mum used to give me £20 but tell me I had to say I couldn't find anything I liked and bring the £20 back. It's sad really, not my mums fault, but I remember them all buying stuff and me longing for a pair of sparkly drainpipe trousers that I couldn't have.

Nonplusultra · 12/12/2023 20:48

Pretending that I just really, really loved an outfit because I had nothing else to wear.

And yes to the keeping my shoes on. I remember in college, a flatmate sitting in the living room laughing at his toes poking out of his socks because for a person who has never been poor, it’s a matter of humour rather than shame.

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 12/12/2023 20:53

Selling an expensive watch with sentimental value in order to buy tampons
Sitting in silence in the dark because no money for the meter
Going to sleep early to try to stave off hunger and conserve energy (ie my own energy)

I wish I could say it gets better but unfortunately it hasn't for me yet

TimeForBedSaidZebadee · 12/12/2023 21:11

Nonplusultra · 12/12/2023 20:48

Pretending that I just really, really loved an outfit because I had nothing else to wear.

And yes to the keeping my shoes on. I remember in college, a flatmate sitting in the living room laughing at his toes poking out of his socks because for a person who has never been poor, it’s a matter of humour rather than shame.

That's so true, my ds 23 has always got holes in his socks and couldn't care less. He could easily buy new ones but waits until Christmas knowing I will buy him a load and make him bin the old ones.
We were so poor when I was young. I remember once trying to fix my one pair of sandals with safety pins. There would have been no point telling my mum, I knew she didn't have the money to replace them.
It's probably why as an adult I have 120 pairs of shoes and my dc have always had fair more clothes and shoes than they have ever needed.
I'm 63 now and only just starting to work on the issues my childhood caused.

NightmareGirl · 12/12/2023 21:31

Wearing school uniform to dress down day and getting made fun of

SpringingJoy · 12/12/2023 21:35

Wearing school uniform to dress down day and getting made fun of

I remember this. But I used to wear uniform then do a huge 'Oh noooo, I forgot' thing. So I was teased for having uniform on but it was better than having to bear the embarrassment of wearing my own clothes.

NightmareGirl · 12/12/2023 21:38

@SpringingJoy yeah I don’t know why I didn’t think to do that. In my memory I’m sure I wore the uniform because at times I literally didn’t have other clothes

User13579367337 · 12/12/2023 21:44

I remember multiple instances. I’m the only one in my primary school pictures not wearing the school jumper. My parents wouldn’t buy me one. My trousers were so short in year 7-8 that even my form tutor used to take the piss out of me (which led to bullying from my peers), ‘you’re meant to be wearing trousers, not shorts’. ATM I’m going very over the top in buying my children’s Xmas presents for their friends. In primary we used to put presents for our friends under the tree, and we’d all sit on the carpet and the teacher would hand out the presents one by one and announce who it was to and from. I had 3 good friends who all bought me presents, I wasn’t allowed to buy them one back. 2 out of the 3 never spoke to me again. The horrible thing was my parents actually had money. They had 2 houses, both worked, my mum was illegally claiming benefits. But they’d rather piss their money up the wall on 40 fags a day and going down the pub most nights of the week

User13579367337 · 12/12/2023 21:46

tescocreditcard · 12/12/2023 20:40

It's the small humiliations like this that sting and we remember for years and years.

When I was a teenager the other girls and me used to go clothes shopping on a saturday and they were better off than me. My mum used to give me £20 but tell me I had to say I couldn't find anything I liked and bring the £20 back. It's sad really, not my mums fault, but I remember them all buying stuff and me longing for a pair of sparkly drainpipe trousers that I couldn't have.

That is unbelievably shit ☹️

NightmareGirl · 12/12/2023 21:50

@User13579367337 what a horrible teacher

Cocoalover · 12/12/2023 21:57

In secondary school, when all the kids would have the things that my parents couldn't afford, they were sad times, Sometimes, it would literally just be snacks at lunchtime, all the kids would go buy chocolates, etc, and I had to pretend that I had forgotten money. Having to wear uniforms that were 2 sizes too small, having no coat in the rain, no haircuts, no razors, nothing for self care. Thankfully, I had an older sister who took care of me eventually, and I had all of the things I longed for. Some unpleasant memories!

Spudlover · 12/12/2023 22:08

Having to wear an old shirt of my Dad’s for woodwork, metalwork and home economics while all the other kids had shiny white aprons. Not having a PE kit either.

Being one of only 3 kids in junior school not going on the school trip. That one did really get to me even though we were used to going without.

I have always made sure my kids can always go on the trips.

Midwinter91 · 12/12/2023 22:15

In college (16/17) my supposed best friend asked me loudly why I always wore the same pair of jeans and cardigan. She was from a very wealthy family and rarely wore the same thing twice. I was embarrassed and hurt at the time, I worked every Saturday and Sunday but had to pay for travel and food as well as clothing myself. Looking back maybe she never realised other people’s Mums didn’t buy their clothes.

Howdidtheydothat · 12/12/2023 22:17

I put carrier bags inside my shoes once as a child…hole in my shoes during winter and knew I’d have to wait for next pay day for new pair. Remember having soggy cold toes. And rustling . And sliding about inside of my shoes

Citrusandginger · 12/12/2023 22:19

Having a broken buckle on my shoes for months at junior school.

Wearing a dress under a skirt to look like a blouse for non-uniform day, and being asked if I didn't have any jeans.

Wearing a coloured flowery dress and school shoes to my confirmation, when everyone else had white lacey dresses.

Pretending I had got a radio for Christmas. I actually got a scientific calculator to use in maths. (Compulsory equipment).

Wearing a kagoule over my school blazer during the 1982/3 winter.

KissyMissy · 12/12/2023 22:40

These are sad 😔