Anxiety over christmas gifts?

[brentedbrew]

In recent years perhaps since I married and bought a house with my now DH but Christmas seems fraught with a lot of hard work. Its mostly around present buying. There always seem to be a few people who are just so hard to buy for if you ask them they don't want anything.

I don't want to waste my money on something people wouldn't like or on tat but I do find exchanging gifts to be lovely. Its usually easy with my Dh as I live with him and I know what he's appreciate and for my closest friends I usually know this as well but for other family members its really hard.

For my parents this year I have bought them hardly anything just some sweets a couple of little things and a joint gift. While we have spoken about it I just feel my gifts for them are crap and that they will be disappointed. I have a lot of anxiety and doubt around what I have bought and it kind of spoils the run up to Christmas for me.

We also still need to get additional things for DH's family but he just thinks everything can be left to the last minute when in reality things do go out of stock if you leave them until a day or 2 before christmas. I like to know i have everything I need in advance and hate being in the shops on Christmas Eve.

Its just hard these days to give someone a good gift, although saying that I am always grateful for whatever I get I imagine people being upset with what I've given them.

You do sound anxious. Is it just around gifts or is it a problem generally? You're placing a lot of weight on the importance of these presents when really most people aren't too fussed and are very unlikely to be upset unless you've given them something really hurtful or inappropriate (like the time my mum gave me a diet book, thanks mum). I'm sure you wouldn't do that.

Let your DH buy for his family.

@PetrifiedForestNationalPark Not really maybe I have some anxiety about my families health but that is understandable because they elderly and have health issues. Its just been an issue in recent years really I don't know why.

Sounds like it's time to say you're not doing gifts for adults, or only doing a small token.

Op I'm with you I think buying adults is very hard.

Netflix, Spotify and Xbox Gamepass have killed a whole category of gifts that we're fantastic things to give. Games, DVDs and CDs.

Men and boys especially are so so flipping hard to buy for. For years my go to gifts for DH were a game, DVD, and a couple of CDs. Maybe some Aftershave and something to wear daft t-shirt or socks.

Now it's all clothes that may or may not fit and he may or may not like. Very little imagination or fun!

We tried that and just buying some nice edibles for people but then someone always ups the ante by spending a fortune on Hotel Chocolat gifts or just buying you gifts anyway. People don't stick to what has been agreed.

One thought is that since now nobody really buys CDs, DVD's or even books that often (many people I know now use a kindle or kobo) is that is a huge potential gift option people tell you explicitly they do not want anymore. I think that is a big part of the issue.

@Sugarfree23 Yes, you have nailed it I think, we just cross posted and I do think the rise of streaming has kind of spoiled a lot of potential gifts for adults.

I find that for elderly relatives the things that really go down well are something nice to eat ( & drink 😁) perhaps make up a small hamper, better than a bought one as you can be a bit more imaginative, something to keep them warm, either indoors or out depending on their mobility. Things like a snuggly scarf, warm cardigan or nightwear, a warm fleecy blanket, a hot water bottle with a fun cover. And if they like reading a book token or an audio book, or even a dvd of the type of film or series they like. Most of mine are not really into downloading music or films, yours may be. Or a magazine subscription of something they’re into like gardening, model making, a craft like knitting or the National Trust if they like visiting.

Yes cross posted. And it's definitely made gift buying for adults and older kids so so hard.
Even 6 or 7 years ago media was still a thing. But it's just not any more.

I'm greatful my mum still reads physical books and I like the odd CD (secretly I'm scared that some stuff I like won't always be available to stream).

I think to an extent that is why Lego have started marketing Lego for 18+, people feel the need to buy adults gifts. And it's not as boring as jumpers!

Yes - gifts for adults is getting harder.

As others have said:

• the move away from CDs, DVDs and physical books. (Seriously: Kindle NEED to start offering gift substitutes, like a nice voucher for a specific book the recipient can claim and download, not just vouchers for £x; similarly gift rentals of newer movies should be a thing on Apple etc. Like a special voucher for an evening of Oppenheimer so that you can put it with some popcorn or something and make it into a little gift for someone)
• the fact that shops almost universally have online offerings mean that you now cannot even see a unique little something in your own shop and rely on the recipient never having seen or been able to get hold of one themselves before now

Go digital. Amazon gift cert, games console vouchers. Gift magazine subscription. Even have a sock subscription!