Boundaries and aging

[BettyBakesCakes]

Do you think you get better at developing boundaries as you age? Since turning 40 I've a got a bit more 'fuck it', but not in a bad way, just in a being better at actually making some boundaries way. For example:

I didn't/haven't made an effort for birthdays/Christmas this year where people don't make the effort for me (have a feeling sorry for themselves partner today but tough. You get back what you put in!)

Refused to meet up with a family member who always treats me like crap. No thanks

Have refused work invites out where I'm only invited when certain people feel like it and left out the rest of the time. I'm worth more than that thanks.

Is this an age thing?

Yes it probably is. I suit myself alot more now. Im 50. I guess op I stopped being a people pleaser. I def have better boundaries around my mother too. It was take take

I dunno. I think I've always had reasonably good boundaries. I definitely care less about what people think as I get older though.

I think I’ve read somewhere that as our hormones change from the child bearing years we become more ruthless and less tolerant of people who don’t treat us well. I think our nurturing hormones take a nose dive.

I won’t stand for much nonsense now in my 30s. On a bit of a tangent, but I have very low egg reserve for my age, and wonder if I’m reaching that change sooner than normal.

I'm 53, and have seriously toughened up on what I'm prepared to tolerate these days. I'm NC with my sister and should have done so years ago.... I feel so much lighter not waiting for the next attack constantly. I also have strong boundaries in place with our Mum as my sister is the golden child and I've had enough of standing in her shadow. DH gets as much effort as he puts in (basically very little) and again, I should have done so years ago.

I'm probably more tolerant with my DC but they never really do that much to upset me!