Feel guilty doing normal things after grandparent death

[AnxiousAnniee]

My grandad died 4 days ago. Myself and my family were all at the hospital with him when it happened and my employer let me have that day and the next day off. It was then the weekend and I'm back WFH today and then in the office tomorrow.

Thursday and Friday I was utterly heartbroken and sobbing all night. Over the weekend I have felt better but I feel guilty for this. I still get moments where I have a little cry and I feel a general sadness inside. But I am mostly able to get on with things. I loved my grandad so much, he was responsible for so many amazing childhood memories and on Friday I was already missing him so much. Whereas now I feel like it hasn't happened? I can't seem to get my brain to go back to realising this is real.

Every time I do something normal I feel immense guilt. The fact that I'm going into the office tomorrow just makes me feel so sad like how can I get on with things so soon as if his death isn't a problem? I know that life goes on and people have to get on with their lives but it feels so soon to just forget about it and to back to normal. It feels disrespectful somehow.

I dont really know what I want from this post. Just reassurance I guess and experience from other people who have been through the same

I'm sorry for your loss. Like you say, life does go on, and I'm sure your GP would want you to be getting with living your life and not putting it on hold because they have passed. Some people find things like going to work and day to day busy times a good distraction. It is hard because things don't feel the same, but it does get easier over time.

Ah mate, it's really normal and there's no pathway or script for grief. It can hit you in a million different ways. I lost my mum in April this year and felt similar. I was also angry that everyone else was just getting on with their lives when I'd just had a really traumatic time.

I'm only now starting to think about getting some therapy. I haven't been able to take about it before.

Essentially, you'll have normal days, then other days where it hits you like a sledgehammer. Just go easy on yourself, you've not even started processing this yet. Much love to you and yours.

Yes just try and be gentle with yourself and also attempt to put aside judgement. I found working to be a comfort and a bit of easy familiarity in the midst of grief, I know some people can't face it but for me it helped to keep me grounded. Perhaps it is to do with the nature of my work, or whatever it was, you just have to do what works for you. Everyone will have an opinion, you are just navigating this time the best you can and just because you are able to function does not mean you are not grieving. Take care.

Life goes on. Harsh but true. The funeral will help make it real, grief comes in waves, but ultimately an adult losing their grandad is the natural order of the world and your brain knows that on some level at least