TW suicidal thinking: handhold/good outcomes needed

[Tempname987]

(Have n/c for this but been around forever). I’m looking for some positive stories about struggling teens. DS 16 has disclosed suicidal thoughts and is on the urgent’ (and don’t get me started) CAMHS list; we are lucky enough to pay for private help but also struggling to find anyone. I am trying to stay as calm as I can but it is so fucking hard, to see my lovely boy so miserable and feeling so shit. So if anyone has been here could you tell me what (if anything) has helped? I really need some hope.

It is so hard and distressing OP. I have had periods of suicidal ideation and it is important to remember that they can and will pass. He is gripped by this for a reason and it is reasonable to hope that time, medication if necessary and therapy will allow him to move through this. In the short term clearly the priority is to uncover if there is intention which a therapist will be able to support with and therefore to keep him safe, but it is also so important that he has somewhere to take all this. It is not a life sentence, this is a period in his life. The fact that he is able to express these thoughts and feelings is already a solid starting point. Take care

Yes, my Dd was got very depressed when she was 17/18 and had been self harming.

We were lucky that we were covered by Bupa. I went on their website and contacted a psychiatrist (they can prescribe medication). She had one assessment, was prescribed antidepressants, and referred to a therapist.

It helped a lot.

Now 7 years later she is flourishing. She no longer takes antidepressants or self harms. She and all the family know she has the habit of taking on more than she can handle, she has self knowledge of this, but we also know to remind her.

Just to add, my Dd at the time had just started her uni course. She just about managed to do classes, but couldn’t go into a coffee shop or use the communal laundry room or socialise.

She enjoyed driving, but at times couldn’t face driving, often I would pick her up and take her back.

I remember saying to her things like, just try and get through the day, one day this will be just a memory. I still can’t seem to write the S word when thinking about that time.

It seemed to me important to convince her ‘to hang on in there’, so that other things like medication/therapy could start to help.

Bacp can help. See their website.

I'm a Samaritans listener. My advice is just listen to him. Don't do the (totally well intended!) oh but you have so much to live for, oh I would be so sad etc etc. Allow him to say something is shit, or he is unhappy about something and say would you like to tell me more? How does that shit thing make you feel? etc etc

Also, do encourage him to call Samaritans if he wants to talk to a stranger who can just listen. 116123. You can also call, for support for yourself, OP

I think I exercise helps most. Sun. Water. Swimming warmth.

Thank you all very much, I appreciate it - I struggle to sit with people’s pain but am biting my tongue and trying not to move into fixer mode. The suggestion of asking him how the shit thing makes him feel is good; I feel lucky that he is talking to me at least.