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Feeling defeated

4 replies

Reepycheepy · 11/12/2023 08:00

Just want a moan as feel so down and defeated this morning.

I’ve been a single parent for the last 7 years. 2 DS. No family help at all. Eldest has various SEN and anxiety and is very challenging. Can’t be left with babysitters etc so I’m effectively trapped in the house outside school hours which I hate. Parenting him is hard with little up sides if I’m honest. Then try to make life as ok as possible for my youngest.

I work full time - had a horrible year with lots of quite serious health issues. Finally all better and eldest now in high school and I thought I’d try and move roles at work to do something more fulfilling. Need to make a good impression. I’m good at my job, was I guess viewed as a high achiever etc years ago but DC needs meant I’ve had to stay at the same level doing a ‘safe’ role.

Anyway sounds silly but DC is ill again and off school. Even though older it’s been one illness after another this term. I know it’s the time of year but I’m going to have to wfh again, miss the Xmas lunch ( important for being seen as part of new team) and just generally look unreliable again.

Usually manage to stay positive but just feel like crying - it’s like no matter how hard I try to build a life it just gets knocked back.

OP posts:
fourelementary · 11/12/2023 08:04

It doesn’t sound silly at all. It sounds like you’re the only person doing everything for your kids and that’s bloody tough regardless even before ASN which is even tougher.
Is there anyone like a trusted friend or a relative you could look to build up more trust with for your son so that in the future you would be able to leave him if needed for short periods? Nothing to offer to help today, is his illness something he could manage to come with you and sit somewhere quite on a device for the duration of the lunch for?

merrymerrychristmasall · 11/12/2023 08:05

It does all sound a bit shit. Sorry that you will be missing the work Christmas lunch.

It sounds as though you are holding it all together really well and with much fortitude given the circumstances.

Bireadwhatiread · 11/12/2023 08:17

I was that person for many years and felt similar. It does get better and it is not your fault. I overcompensated by working really hard. Also by trying to make every day special for the kids. It does feel like running on a treadmill and going nowhere at times. Hold on, chin up and enjoy Christmas.

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Reepycheepy · 11/12/2023 08:24

Thanks everyone! Usually I manage to try and think positively and get going! Just can’t today ( I’m guessing as like everyone just so tired!).

@Bireadwhatiread - yea that’s it. I guess my fear is because of eldest SEN will it ever get better. But then I think it already is a lot better than a few years ago so hopefully!

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