ASD dd Peeing in bed time pull-up while awake

[NCparents23]

5 yo dd was dry from aged 2 up until just before she turned 5 when she suddenly started wetting the bed every night (multiple times a night), this coincided with her starting to sleep through the night finally, previously she was waking multiple times and was sometimes awake for hours. GP assumes she was never night dry, but because she was awake so much she was able to pee in the toilet so it never seemed like a problem. I tried everything and basically resounded to letting her wear pull ups while we await for her referral. The problem is that now DD is intentionally peeing in the pull-up when awake. I put it on right before I put her to bed but she is often awake for hours with lots of back and forth for me. Tonight for example I put her to bed at 7, she’s still awake so I have brought her into bed with me and can tell she has had a pee in the pull up. She denies it and says she doesn’t know if she did but I know she’s done it on purpose as it’s happened before. I’m now suspecting she does it most nights. What can I do about this? I’m honestly so over all of this and all of the endless waiting lists, it feels like she is becoming more and more baby like and I have no idea what to do.

I'd put her to bed, switch off the light and leave her to sleep or to just lie down and rest. I wouldn't be bringing her into my bed. That would be a reward for not going to sleep. I'd keep the pull up on and change her in the morning whilst waiting for an assessment.

Yes, she may well wee in the pull-up if it’s on and available but that’s not necessarily the same thing as ‘intentionally doing it on purpose’. I think you either need to accept her using the pull-up if it’s on or don’t use pull-ups. With DS3 I used those bed mats instead as it made him more aware of when he’d had an accident.

DS3 (ASC) has really struggled with bladder/bowel issues, I was told it’s a sensory processing thing in that he doesn’t get the signal to ‘go’, same with pain, he has dulled responses to pain. He was still having the occasional accident in school in Y5, which he found very upsetting and we would have to bring him home from school early. Luckily no accidents so far this year.

My son is 4 and autistic. He is dry during the day and wears a nappy at night, he will wee and poo in it if he needs to go during the evening. I think he just follows the 'rules' based on whatever situation he is in to be honest. So to him wearing a nappy means he goes in the nappy. Have tried melatonin for your daughter? it's been amazing for helping my son go to sleep in the evening, I bought it myself as referral timelines are an absolute joke and he was suffering with lack of sleep, as were we as a family.

I think I’d focus on leaving her in her bed.

Leave worrying about the pull up till when you get a referral, just change her in the morning.

I’m assuming you are focusing on getting fluid into her in the morning, and limiting it to sips from late afternoon - if not, do try that.

Thanks so much for your replies!

it’s not really a reward to bring her into my bed, I’m her mum and if she’s laying there worrying (which is what she’s doing) I want to comfort her. Her brain moves at a million miles an hour. She’s also recently changed school to one with better SEN support but is really struggling.
@Justbecause19 interestingly we did try melatonin and that’s what actually began the cycle of bed wetting. She was dry prior, but began to have accidents once she started the melatonin so I stopped it but the accidents continued. It’s so hard deciding what’s right isn’t it 😐 We still have some so if sleep doesn’t improve I think we will have to start again. Sleep was actually semi ok for a while, but has obviously gone tits up in the last few weeks!

I won’t worry about changing her then, she is also a ‘rule’ follower so that’s most probably what’s happening! Gosh it’s a minefield with these kids, as lovely as they are!