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Original poster

Are you mid-50s? Do you still work full time?

252 replies

elsaandanna · 10/12/2023 21:23

I'm the only woman I know of my age who works full time.

Admittedly I have a small circle of people I know and none of them have glamorous or high flying careers.

I'm a childminder so I'm busy long days, 5 days a week. Can't drop a day as I'd lose income. The parents that need childcare 5 days a week because they work full time are much younger than me.

OP posts:
roarrfeckingroar · 11/12/2023 15:43

I'm 35 and haven't worked full time since having my child 4 years ago. I'm not planning to go back 5 days per week even once he's in school; it's too much.

theDudesmummy · 11/12/2023 15:44

60 and work more than full-time (own professional practice). No plans to stop.

notacooldad · 11/12/2023 15:45

Yes, I'm 58 and working full time. So are most of my friends.
Dh is 61 and full time as well.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Childcare & nursery
LaurieStrode · 11/12/2023 15:47

teima · 10/12/2023 23:54

How do you all go about re-training and then get a job without experience in the industry? What is meant by re-training? Is it with companies you're already with? Everyone makes it sound so easy but I've never managed to find any jobs that accept you with no experience.

I have zero interest in any type of corporate work whatsoever (apart from one industry that is ageist etc), but I'd retrain if it meant I could wfh fully remote. I was hybrid but even that is way too much.

I've been wondering this myself. What are all these retraining opportunities that people speak of? I am 60 and figure no one will hire me, so I cling to the well-paid but soul-crushingly boring job that I have, and probably will for the next five years.

MegBusset · 11/12/2023 15:49

I’m late 40s and just dropped from 5 to 4 days a week. I won’t go back to full-time unless absolutely no other choice! Mortgage is paid off, though still have to fund DC through university.

I really enjoy my job, but enjoy my life outside work even more. If I didn’t I would think it was time to reassess my life!

Gettingbysomehow · 11/12/2023 15:49

teima · 10/12/2023 23:12

This thread is so depressing for me. I can barely function and I'm not 50 yet.

What with working with toxic cunts every day in tedious boring jobs; it is revealed it gets even worse with ageism and sexism. I ask myself what is the point of it all apart from the obvious.

I have so many interests outside of work, that I can't do as I can't function from exhaustion.

I've learnt to completely ignore toxic types. I don't care enough any more to let it bother me. I'm 62.
Some young upstart at work tried to bully me recently so I got him in a spare room and ripped his head off. He has avoided me ever since. Grandma has a nasty side - best not to go there 😂

teima · 11/12/2023 16:01

@Gettingbysomehow

Good for you - I can't stand bullies!

Unfortunately my experiences have meant that ignoring is not possible. I have developed serious mental health issues from working in toxic environments. The lengths HR, colleagues and managers will go to is psychopathic. Oh and don't forget the "well-being representatives" aka HR spies.

Kirstyshine · 11/12/2023 16:02

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/12/2023 21:55

Interesting. I was just wondering this today. I'm 50 and work FT during term time in a school office. It's exhausting me now while going through perimenopause - the pace of it, the amount of changing information I have to remember, multitasking all the time etc etc. Unless I leave the premises I don't get a proper lunch break (but it's kind of frowned on if I leave the premises really), same with leaving on time (it raises eyebrows) . I must do 1.5 hours a day unpaid. Been in unpaid during the holidays etc etc. I'm often ill during school holidays and I'm sure this is because of the stress from the workload. Blood pressure is high (but ok during the holidays). It's quite low paid so I don't feel the workload matches the salary.

So......I was wondering if it was normal for lots of women to go part time in their mid 50s because that's the plan I have in my head. Get the kids through uni (3 and a half years to go). I just can't cope with this pace anymore. I'm not sure my job is doable part time so I may have to leave and try to get something else with part time hours but there doesn't seem much available, only retail, hospitality or care work.

But in my head there's a nagging voice that says I must just be weak to feel like I can't cope with a full time job at this age, because plenty of women on here seem to have "big" jobs and work FT no problems.

I don’t think ‘big’ jobs are necessarily more stressful than yours. You get more freedom and flexibility in a big job.

teima · 11/12/2023 16:05

@LaurieStrode

I know it is very puzzling! They make it sound so easy but if you look at job adverts they want experience!

Glad you get decent money to ease the boredom. I know how the torturous boredom feels!

VaddaABeetch · 11/12/2023 16:06

55 & work in a very full on job. All my friends 52 to 64 work FT. Can’t afford not to.

contactus · 11/12/2023 16:09

This reply has been deleted

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dillydelight · 11/12/2023 16:16

@contactus

Good for my health! Um where did I say that! Good for my mental health to get away from corporate cunts I suppose yes. Not to occupy my mind no!

There's sooo much out there other than work to "occupy the mind" and since I have a disability I need a seated position.

Thanks for stopping by my thread I hope you contributed something useful, unlike here!

Katharineblum · 11/12/2023 16:21

Would love the ‘crushingly boring but well paid job’ anyway 🙄 let’s swap, you can have my stressful and poorly paid ICU nurse job.

dillydelight · 11/12/2023 16:21

@contactus's GOTCHA didn't quite work as she lack reading comprehension skills!

Haha!

contactus · 11/12/2023 16:23

This reply has been deleted

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dillydelight · 11/12/2023 16:35

@contactus Yes desperate to get away from the corporate team cunts, me and many of my colleagues have had to endure and try something different in a seated role!

If you want to make fun of a disabled person and say they are desperate, as they don't have as much choice for different types of working environments go right ahead. I could not work on my feet as a nurse etc!

Again you lack comprehension skills.

The point you tried to make is still moot! Haha!

JaninaDuszejko · 11/12/2023 17:36

mantyzer · 11/12/2023 15:18

Some jobs are a lifestyle though. Farming for example. You don't just clock off.

Yeah, both my father and grandfather worked until the week they died (both farmers). They did less as they got older but never stopped. I know quite a few retired professionals who continue to either do some paid work on a consultancy basis or as voluntary work related to their job. I'm a scientist and while I look forward to having more time for hobbies I struggle to think of something that would be as rewarding as what I do for a day job. Obviously I'm very lucky to feel like that.

I actually think it's quite harmful to your mental health to just suddenly stop working, slowly reducing it as you get older makes more sense, giving you more time to fill the work space in your life. You need to build a social life away from work and find something as challenging and rewarding as your job. That can take time, particularly if you love your job. Just like when your children move away you need to fill that space in your life.

luckylavender · 11/12/2023 18:03

I'm 61 & work full-time. Long days. But I have no intention of retiring anytime soon as I enjoy my job.

Itslookinggood · 11/12/2023 18:47

Same as pp, divorce at 49 means I have a mortgage which runs til I’m 67. So no prospect of early retirement. Plus two teens to put through uni (no contributions from exh).

I love my job and had thought I’d happily stick with it til then. But the last 6 months peri symptoms have kicked in (now 53) and I’m starting to wonder if I can stick it.

so it’ll be down the docs for HRT I think. No option really.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 11/12/2023 19:22

Sirian · 11/12/2023 08:39

People are giving up their lives in their mid fifties? Jesus I don’t feel anywhere near retirement age! You’re making yourself old before your time.

"Giving up their lives"? Are you serious? 😂You missed the word "working" from in front of "lives". Do you really think that people's whole lives are defined by their job? In my view, life is what happens OUTSIDE of a job. And a job gets in the way of a lot of it!

EsmeShelby · 11/12/2023 19:29

Yes. No one at my level in my area is part time.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 11/12/2023 19:38

mantyzer · 11/12/2023 14:52

You can work and have a life outside of work. Most people do.

Not if your job, health and family circumstances take nearly all your energy and time. I had more energy for a life outside FT work when my kids and I were both younger. Now I'm worn down by everything and I'm only 50. I guess people who have a proper career and who've had money to outsource everything since their children were small may have more energy at 50 than I do. But for people like me who have an ordinary FT job and who didn't outsource anything since their children were tiny, it's often around this age that many start to feel a lack of energy, don't sleep well etc etc.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 11/12/2023 19:46

willowstar · 11/12/2023 08:54

@UseOfWeapons I work in the NHS and see exactly what you are taking about. We just lost a highly specialised therapist because she wanted to reduce her hours and the trust said no, so she has taken her niche skills and knowledge elsewhere and we are left trying to recruit someone else. I see it repeatedly, especially people wanting to diversify a bit, do some research ect... The NHS really need to embrace flexible working and not just talk about it.

They really do need to think outside the box. You've got FT workers retiring early then coming back to do expensive agency work Part time. It's nuts. Just let them go part time in the first place!

HuntingoftheSnark · 11/12/2023 19:50

I'm 54, always worked full time apart from two months maternity leave. I think I fear boredom - my mother retired at 63, is now 93 and still very active, lives independently, walks miles. I intend to hang onto my job for as long as I feel useful and competent.

bigTillyMint · 11/12/2023 20:13

I think a lot depends upon how physically as well as mentally demanding your job is. There are few people of 60+ who want to or are physically able to do certain (usually public sector) jobs.