What is the maximum amount of stress someone can handle before they simply IMPLODE

[foaosn]

Asking for a friend..

I sleep a lot and walk a lot. I really think this helps me.

Thank you for the kind replies.

I don't feel quite ready for the elderly care/dementia boards - this has come on very rapidly and I'm still trying to enjoy a bit of ignorance about what is likely- but I will come soon.

@TheBeatles

You must be the loveliest person in the universe to find time for someone else and to show them so much kindness with all you have on your plate. Bless you! I really hope that all goes well with you! So sorry that you're going through that. Xx

Everyone is different
I had my first breakdown in February 1984 age 12. The next big one which changed my brain capability was 2004 after a death. Then again in 2014! I have broad shoulders and can carry loads but when the brain decides enough is enough a part never recovers and you are never the same again.
But there are things you can do to help you cope. Saying no is a good start when you need to and cutting folk out who drain you..

@foaosn

Sorry to hear about your parents. I get it. My dad has got terminal cancer and my sister is also terminally ill and mentally unwell. I've never been good at handling stress, but have been about to blow lately. I cannot switch off from it. All I think about is the responsibility and everyone dying and my own mortality. I think that it's this time of life, when just when you think that you've got it sorted, suddenly you turn around and your parents are elderly and the perimenopause hits.

Here are a few things that have really helped me:
A stack of funny easy to read books (death and croissants, Richard Osman books, the sweet sweet revenge company (and anything else by that author).
A hot shower with aromatherapy oil before bed
A blue tooth sleep mask and the calm app sleep stories
Relaxation music on in the background during the day
Pottery classes
A swim and chat with a friend once a week
A new puppy
Also a self referral to the NHS anxiety/low mood six week online course (1 hour a week). They have an app too.
It's really important to ring fence time for yourself.

Xx

Get help in place. Parents can be so stubborn. Say no from the start of you can't do. There is a lot of help out there care and respite. Sometimes people don't like paying but then leave things to 1 person. Don't be that person. Do what you can.
Sometimes I look back and I see I cared for older family members when I should have been doing things with my kids. That is a big regret

Just want to send hugs and say that I feel you.
I too have a roof over my head but starting to deal with aged parents and conscious about not fucking uo
The teens mentally and no money but self employed and dropping balls...
Lost one client this week.
Hate how stressed I am

This time last year OP my Dad was dying in a hospice, after 6 months of cancer that had me questioning my own sanity by the end of it. The aftermath was almost worse, having to clear his flat in 3 weeks, family objecting to where we wanted to inter his ashes. By June, I think I was the frailest I've ever been and gave in to the inevitable "I just can't do this any more". Had a week off, cried for most of it, and let the grief hit.

My honest answer is that whatever you do, you'll question it. There is no right or wrong - you just muddle through the best you can with the best of intentions. And somehow, you come out the other side.

My experience was-an awful lot. In a three week period two yeses ago (this time of year), I broke my arm and leg, my dd got badly attacked, my then DP admitted he had a bit of a drug problem and he had lied to me a fair bit as a result. It was Christmas, plus still covid ish, plus we were in the middle of a house move.
That same house burned down a few months later.

All of that and the aftermath was awful. I coped with it all fine. Well not fine, but managed and held everyone together.
This year nothing really bad has happened. And yet my Mental Health has dived. The tiniest thing stresses me out and I've lost the optimistic personality I've always had. It might be peri I suppose. But I think it's just the come down from all the stress and cortisol. Everyone is alright now. And that's sort of allowed me to drop my guard and the result of that has been a real negative effect on my MH.
So to surmise-I think you can cope with a surprising amount. But what you have to be wary of is the aftermath. The body keeps score as they say and so I think does the mind!

In my experience (which is legion) quite a lot. It gradually builds and only when the worst of it is over do I fall over in a heap of illness, uncontrollable crying, exhaustion and withdrawal from the world after being signed off by my GP.

I'd not recommend that approach 😬

What I would recommend is asking for help much sooner than most women tend to so you can hopefully not need to implode.

Oh, and tell more people to fuck off. That can help too 😊

Yes @piscofrisco I'm the same, I cope quite well but as soon as the bad patch passes it hits me like a truck. I've recognised the pattern now so I will know in future to organise self care. I internalise everything, and often feel like I'm about to implode. People always comment on how calm I am but I think I'm the opposite. Only recently my girl told me that I always know how to make everyone feel calm and happy again. It's a good trait in one way but it's not good for me. I get sick a lot and I think its a side effect.

Yes. I am always ill. Anything doing the rounds will always hit me first and worst. This year has been especially and for it which in turn has made me feel even worse Mentally. I need to sort myself out as currently feeling awful and can't shake it at all.

I do understand completely but if I could turn the clock, the one thing I'd wished I'd done was to gather information on what I could do to help, and where we could get (what little) help there is.

Do you want to tell us a bit more about what's going on?