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Original poster

I am completely overwhelmed by parenting

13 replies

SpinningTops · 10/12/2023 08:39

I've just had enough. I feel if this was my workplace I'd have been signed off sick with stress!

I feel like I've had a million coffees, my heart is racing.

It seems to have peaked this weekend, I woke early (about 5am) and couldn't get back to sleep because I was already stressed at the prospect of the day ahead.

My kids are 5 and 7. I think my son might be autistic and the thought of the meltdowns has me treading on eggshells and add in to this my daughters constant questions and noise making and I just can't cope. DH deals with it by putting music on to tune into but it just adds an extra level of noise to the situation.

There is no escape!!

OP posts:
Howbizzare22 · 10/12/2023 08:43

Firstly I’d lay off the coffees as all that caffeine adds to feeling stressed & irritated and lack of sleep.
parenting is soooo hard especially when they’re young. Do you have anyone who can support or take them out for you for couple hours to get a break? Will DH do something with them while you take a long bath or just time out every now and again?

VeryInteresting12 · 10/12/2023 08:44

This was my experience around 10hrs ago.
its bloody hard and I don’t have lots of answers for you.
I think the biggest thing I’ve learned through parenting an autistic child is to recognise their needs and not fight them.
It sounds obvious, but it’s hard to put into action.
i spent a lot of time trying to create a childhood that made sense to me, but it don’t make a lot of sense to my child and I ended up feeling disappointed a lot.
Its sad to look back and think about the times I tried to make stuff work and be normal.
Anyway, back to today.
What does a good parenting day look like to you? Can you make that happen today by just concentrating on that alone?
Obvs you need time to yourself for a bit, is that easy to do?

VeryInteresting12 · 10/12/2023 08:44

lol- 10yrs ago!

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TeddyBeans · 10/12/2023 08:45

Have you spoken to anyone about your suspicions re DS? I'm in the same boat with my DS - he was put on a 2 year waiting list for assessment at the end of September so if you think he is autistic then the sooner you get him on the list, the sooner you can start accessing support.

You need to take some time for yourself too. Tell your kids you need half an hour mum time and do something you enjoy with no interruptions. They're old enough to entertain themselves for that long

Bireadwhatiread · 10/12/2023 08:48

Tune it out. Hum along to a song. Repeat a mantra as he does it. "I am a goddesss, I have got this, I am calm, I will cause no harm" ir something. Something that calms you down, makes you feel uplifted and happy.

It is life changing. All of a sudden the hours of whining seem vert far away. Try meditation tapes as well.

This is a challenge you can overcome. There is ALWAYS a way.

StubbleTurnips · 10/12/2023 08:50

I hear you. This time of year invokes a weird excitement and anxiety in this house. I try and get a walk in, by myself, daily as we all find it too much in different ways - my two practice musical instruments which sends me into sensory overload so I have noise cancelling headphones and go and clean something. Works for me.

Monkeybrains192 · 10/12/2023 09:04

Howbizzare22 · 10/12/2023 08:43

Firstly I’d lay off the coffees as all that caffeine adds to feeling stressed & irritated and lack of sleep.
parenting is soooo hard especially when they’re young. Do you have anyone who can support or take them out for you for couple hours to get a break? Will DH do something with them while you take a long bath or just time out every now and again?

OP said she feels like she's had a million coffees, not that she has.

OP, have you thought if seeing your gp? I went through a terrible period of anxiety, that fight or flight mode is no joke. A course of escitaloprám really helped me cope, it changed my life actually. Just worth a thought if other things don't help.

Original poster
SpinningTops · 10/12/2023 09:07

Howbizzare22 · 10/12/2023 08:43

Firstly I’d lay off the coffees as all that caffeine adds to feeling stressed & irritated and lack of sleep.
parenting is soooo hard especially when they’re young. Do you have anyone who can support or take them out for you for couple hours to get a break? Will DH do something with them while you take a long bath or just time out every now and again?

Perhaps not clear in my OP, I don't actually drink coffee, just feels like I have.

I can ask for help from my parents but think this weekend has been particularly full on with no opportunity for a break.

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 10/12/2023 09:10

Isn’t this just life? I don’t know anyone in reality who isn’t struggling with small children and overwhelm.
Try and get out at least for an hour. Preferably for a walk or to the gym

Original poster
SpinningTops · 10/12/2023 09:12

I do get breaks but at the moment as soon as I'm back in the chaos it all ramps up again!

I have started to listen to audiobooks whilst cooking which helps.

We also have instruments in the house to add to the noise!

I have an appointment with the GP about my son coming up. School don't see the problems we do so I've put it off a bit thinking I might be overthinking things.

OP posts:
HamsterBanana · 10/12/2023 09:12

Think it's completely normal to be overwhelmed with small children.

Whalewatchers · 10/12/2023 09:21

This was me yesterday. Children are 3 and 7. Felt like I could nearly have a heart attack between the noise, mess and demands. Family nearby but are useless. We never get much of a break. Ah well, it'll get easier one day.

Howbizarre22 · 10/12/2023 09:35

SpinningTops · 10/12/2023 09:07

Perhaps not clear in my OP, I don't actually drink coffee, just feels like I have.

I can ask for help from my parents but think this weekend has been particularly full on with no opportunity for a break.

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Apologies OP don’t think I’d woken up properly reading mumsnet! Think I need a million coffees myself 🤣

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