Relationship advice

[ItTakesAVillage97]

I really need some help I'm not sure what to do my life actually feels like it's just crumbling around me I have PTSD badly and I don't know if it's something to do with that or just a mixture of everything.. I've found out I'm pregnant I was so happy like my heart felt so full but then I told my partner and his response was just tore me apart "well that's sh*t what you gonna do" we have been together 4 years and well since this has happened it's made me feel different I feel under appreciated (I do everything around the house and pay the bills he doesn't even put his clothes in the wash bin) and we haven't had sex in over a week and to be honest I don't want to he hasn't hugged me or anything. I live hundreds of miles away from my family due to fleeing a DV relationship and all I want to do is go home to my mum. It's hard to talk to him he just goes off and his family make excuses for him of how he can't handle things but he's a grown man and needs to start communicating to me as I have discussed with him previously.then will come back a few hours later and act like nothing happened. My head is a mess and I just want to disappear.. what would you do if this was your partner would you leave or would you stay?

I would leave, if that's how he normally is.

I would have a termination and move back to my family.

Thank you

I also would have a termination. This man is not father material or partner material, he treats you like dirt and it won't get any better if you bring a baby into the situation.

Thank you I think I had in my head what to do sometimes abit of advice from other ladies is just what you need to hear xx

He will not change. You have left DV previously which must mean you have had to be very strong in the past. Dont have yourself go through that just to end up with some lazy arsed layabout - you are worth much more! Get rid of him out of your life. Having a baby on your own is hard - knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t keep the baby if I were you but you have to be sure it’s what you really want as it’s an emotional process x

Thank you so much I'm so emotional at the moment and just really want a hug he can't even do that it's been 3 days since I told him and he's not said anything else I definitely think I know what I'm doing not fair to bring another child into the world with a broken home 😔 x

You have got yourself into another abusive relationship.

What you do about the pregnancy is your choice. But I wouldn't choose to tie yourself to this man forever. Giving him the ability to pop in and out of your life, potentially causing untold damage each time. I would terminate and I would go home.

You need to heal. You need to do the freedom programme and take time for yourself before getting in a relationship. He isn't a good man. He wasn't a good man before you got pregnant. He won't be a good man now you are.

Real nice comment

failed contraception?

I know what I'm doing not fair to bring another child into the world with a broken home

and yet…

Please ignore nasty comments, there really is no need.
OP please go gently on yourself. Please shout out on here for support. Plenty of other supportive people to reach out to that are more than happy to lend an ear and give advise.
some folk on this site have really perfect lives, with no mistakes made and just cannot help but critique from their ivory towers.
take care.

Leave him.

As others have said please go home to your family if that is an option.
I can't advise about the baby but I would say to think of yourself and make the right choice for you before you think about anything else.
How cold must he be not to give you a hug and say let's decide what to do I'm sorry I was in shock or whatever.
He won't grow up if this is how he is now as an adult even a young adult should have some level of social/emotional intelligence.
It's so hard with a baby can you imagine him storming out for days or just giving you the silent treatment, you deserve better.
Pack up and get out.

Do you already have a kid? It’s up to you to decide if you want to lone parent another child who has a piece of trash as a father, and the impact on your existing child. Being made to live in an abusive house is so, so damaging to a kid-I speak from experience.

The boyfriend sounds utterly pointless, contributes zero to your life, not much of a dilemma there, bin him without a second thought. Regardless of if you keep this pregnancy, you need therapy, work on your self esteem, do the Freedom Project and best off just keeping any bloke away from your existing kid altogether.

If your heart felt really happy at the idea of having the baby then I deffo think you could do it single handed. I’m worried that you would kick yourself down the line and be really unhappy with the decision to terminate.