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Original poster

People who avoid buying their round

39 replies

Wahtnow · 09/12/2023 14:55

I don't mind buying anyone a drink, I don't keep count, over time I thinks it's swings and roundabouts and it all works out.

However I can't abide people who avoid their round or those who have schemes to avoid paying their way, like offering when everyone else has a full glass or at the end of the evening when no one wants more.

I'd absolutely hate to be someone who didn't pay their way. If I can't afford to buy a round, I wouldn't go or wouldn't accept offers/get involved in a round.

It doesn't seem to be people who are hard up either, they have money to spend on other things.

So why do they do it, just pure brass balls and because they can or is there something else?

OP posts:
Precipice · 09/12/2023 15:00

You can easily avoid this by avoiding having rounds at all. Unless everyone is drinking the same, the drinkers of the cheaper items end up subsidising those whose choices are a bit more expensive. For what reason? The set-up of these things involve intrinsically some people benefitting off others: not such a stretch then that some take it further still.

Sirzy · 09/12/2023 15:01

This is why I don’t do rounds. Much easier is everyone just buys what they are drinking!

TheCadoganArms · 09/12/2023 15:04

From my observations blokes are so much better at dealing with tight fuckers when it comes to rounds.

"Oi Dave, are you going to let us all die of thirst or are you going to get a round in"

Original poster
Wahtnow · 09/12/2023 15:11

TheCadoganArms · 09/12/2023 15:04

From my observations blokes are so much better at dealing with tight fuckers when it comes to rounds.

"Oi Dave, are you going to let us all die of thirst or are you going to get a round in"

I don't have any problem doing that either, but it only solves the problem in the moment and occasionally not even then. I'm just back from holiday with a group. Most very generous and not shirkers at all, in fact being "allowed" to buy a drink is the bigger problem sometimes, but there was one recent addition to our group who was very reticent.

I've seen him and others this morning. When it was time for the second round of coffees, I said come on X it must be your round. He just laughed and sat there, but did ask for one when I went to get them! We're out for a Christmas do tonight. I won't be letting him get away with it again.

I like rounds, it's sociable and absolutely fine with most of the people I mix with. He won't last long in the group if this carries on.

OP posts:
DidiAskYouThough · 09/12/2023 15:24

Are they not a bit outdated? (In general)
The average price of a pint in the UK is £6, if I enjoyed going to a pub I would plan to pay for myself, so about £12.
Expecting anyone to fork out £20+ for other people is asking too much when most people are keeping an eye on their finances.

Original poster
Wahtnow · 09/12/2023 15:26

DidiAskYouThough · 09/12/2023 15:24

Are they not a bit outdated? (In general)
The average price of a pint in the UK is £6, if I enjoyed going to a pub I would plan to pay for myself, so about £12.
Expecting anyone to fork out £20+ for other people is asking too much when most people are keeping an eye on their finances.

Maybe , but we're old and do what we've always done. Our group is fine with it and generally there are no issues at all, it's just this new man. If he didn't want to get involved that would be fine, but he accepts drinks when they're offered.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 09/12/2023 15:29

When I was part of a work team all on the same salary - there were five of us. There was one girl who never, ever bought a drink. We all drank wine except I think she would have a cider or a bacardi and coke. In the end we instituted a whip. £10 each. End of. It was clear she didn't like it though.

Hastheslotharrivedyet · 09/12/2023 15:31

Say “low tide at glass bay”

WashItTomorrow · 09/12/2023 15:32

I don’t think people should buy rounds at all. It means people are forced to drink when they don’t want to, and/or spend money they don’t want to.

Hastheslotharrivedyet · 09/12/2023 15:33

Keep out the pub then

EveryKneeShallBow · 09/12/2023 15:33

Rounds are a terrible idea for all the reasons already given. When I go out with friends we all pay for what we have and no one buys rounds, it’s so much better, and no one is simmering with annoyance. In the example you gave, maybe the chap can’t afford to buy for everyone?

FayCarew · 09/12/2023 15:33

Get everyone in on it and forget new man each time.

ditalini · 09/12/2023 15:35

In this situation you suggest a kitty. He will baulk and say he's only having soft drinks and you say "oh that's fine you can just put in what yours cost".

FayCarew · 09/12/2023 15:35

@EveryKneeShallBow , maybe not but a trip to the pub or cafe and getting free drinks each time is a bit much.

EveryKneeShallBow · 09/12/2023 15:37

@FayCarew yes, I see that. Then I think a kitty is the way to go.

ohtowinthelottery · 09/12/2023 15:38

When we go on holiday with friends we have a kitty for rounds of drinks or bits of shopping. When the kitty runs low we all top it up with equal amounts per person. Anything left at the end of the holiday is divided up and dished back out.

Original poster
Wahtnow · 09/12/2023 15:39

WashItTomorrow · 09/12/2023 15:32

I don’t think people should buy rounds at all. It means people are forced to drink when they don’t want to, and/or spend money they don’t want to.

No one's forced to be in the round.

OP posts:
gotomomo · 09/12/2023 15:40

Depends, with casual friends eg choir I buy my own, out with 1 or 2 couples we buy a round per couple (and split bill because it works out over time and generally 1 of each couple is driving anyway!) with family definitely rounds but again over time it works out, I make sure I offer more as I'm the only one who procreated though dd generally buys a round ever so often now too

stomachameleon · 09/12/2023 15:42

@Wahtnow I would defo have forgotten his coffee!!! Hate tightness...

ditalini · 09/12/2023 15:44

Wahtnow · 09/12/2023 15:39

No one's forced to be in the round.

Show quote history

Exactly. Maybe if you're not brought up with UK pub culture this needs to be stated, but it's completely standard to opt out of the round for any reason, e.g just staying for one, bit skint this month, fancy drinking 50yr old malts.

What's a massive faux pas is accepting drinks and then not doing a round, paying your share into a kitty before you leave, saying you'll get the first round in next time.

Hardbackwriter · 09/12/2023 15:44

WashItTomorrow · 09/12/2023 15:32

I don’t think people should buy rounds at all. It means people are forced to drink when they don’t want to, and/or spend money they don’t want to.

Then don't participate in them, but I don't see why therefore no one should! If you don't want to be in a round then you should just say so - and anyone who questions that is unreasonable- but you do have to do so the first time someone offers to get you a drink in as part of a round, not just decide you don't like rounds when it's your turn...

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 09/12/2023 15:44

Precipice · 09/12/2023 15:00

You can easily avoid this by avoiding having rounds at all. Unless everyone is drinking the same, the drinkers of the cheaper items end up subsidising those whose choices are a bit more expensive. For what reason? The set-up of these things involve intrinsically some people benefitting off others: not such a stretch then that some take it further still.

You're overcomplicating it.

We buy rounds because it's easier and faster. But there does always seem to be one who avoids going to the bar. In our group ita a friend with over 300k in her bank account...

RabbitsRock · 09/12/2023 15:52

I don’t do rounds with my friends but I will usually get a drink for the driver.

TheCadoganArms · 09/12/2023 15:52

WashItTomorrow · 09/12/2023 15:32

I don’t think people should buy rounds at all. It means people are forced to drink when they don’t want to, and/or spend money they don’t want to.

Just remove yourself from the round.

"Thanks but I will sort myself out, I'm only having a couple"

LolaSmiles · 09/12/2023 15:57

I don't get into rounds because I'm teetotal and nobody's ever had a problem with that, just like nobody seems bothered if people opt out for any reason.
Sometimes I find friends will buy me a drink in their round as a thanks for driving. I don't think I'm cheeky for accepting a glass of Fanta now and then.

People who are cheeky on rounds are probably the same people who order steak and sides and a starter, then suggest splitting the bill with people who've only had a main course pasta dish.

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