My DH is having severe depression because of his job

[cantthinkofanythinh]

But he is by far the main earner. It's a chaotic job with no structure and the two bosses are shit and can see know wrong in how the company runs. DH is a major perfectionist and is normally very career driven and gets gret results but the moral is so low. Anyway the point I'm trying to get to is that he told me today that he has been having suicidal thoughts which has terrified me. I'm working two jobs so I can't take on anymore work but we need his job as we have big out goings and 3 children. He's told me he wants to resign on Monday. I want him to be happy. I also do t want to lose our home if he can't get work. We only moved last year and used our savings on a deposit so we would only have enough money to cover us for about 2 mths.

It's causing me such anxiety as I don't know what to do.

Has anyone got any suggestions?

He either needs to take sick leave or like you say find alternative work.
He needs to see someone if he’s suicidal.

The people most likely to reach burn out are those who are high functioning and like your husband. They don’t like to be seen as weak or feel guilt for needing time so continue until they hit a wall. they often do lots of stuff for everyone.

But he can buy himself a week and maybe his “back has gone” and he self certifies for a week. (It’s not great but better than a suicidal DH).

If your house is beyond your means then you need to plan now to move and downsize for a while to take the pressure off you both. You should analyse that very carefully. It’s no longer sensible to invest in a house for most people.

I would say that the GP for treatment is the first priority. Even if he self certs the appointment and tells them it's a vomiting bug. Work don't need to know that he's sought help for mental health reasons and no one should disclose that to them. Medication or therapy can help him through next steps.

Whether he needs to be signed off is an individual choice. For some people, being at home would make them feel isolated and more worried.

I wouldn't go off sick. Look for new jobs asap and resign.

Go to GP
Get signed off
Rest and relax
Polish the CV
Polish the LinkedIn
Build the network
Apply for all the jobs / go self employed consultancy/ or both
Get interviews
Get new job
Resign from the mess

Not that easy, of course not. But it's the path.

He is having suicidal ideation, he needs to see his GP asap. He has told you which means he does want help. I wouldn't worry about future references for now, you need to concentrate on dealing with the immediate issue, which is his very poor mental health.

Does his work have any sort of employee assistance programme or private health support he can access?