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Original poster

Wfh and being in the office- how often should I go ?

78 replies

Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 12:20

I wfh have been since I started at the company. I travel up to the office if really needed for workshops/events etc.
I haven't been there for about 7 months but I've been asked to attend meetings about 4 times and I've declined (I can't afford it)
There is a workshop and team building day in the new year just before payday and I'm getting pressure to attend. I don't know what to do.
I've got a new line manager whose team go to the office a few times a week and she's pushing me to be onsite more.
I also live 4 hours from work so need to stay over everytime I go up there.
If you were work at what point would it be a problem?

OP posts:
EmpressaurusOfCats · 09/12/2023 13:03

Even Central London has hotels cheaper than £150 per night - are there really no budget hotels in the area?

DiaNaranja · 09/12/2023 13:06

At least you get your expenses paid! Maybe not upfront, but you're technically not actually out of pocket, and if your contact states you need to go in, you should be making that effort even if once a month. Plenty of people I know have to commute into work, by car or train, and this isn't subsidised. My husband for example pays over £300 a month to get the train to work 3 times a week. Yes, he could do his job from home, and save that money, but I don't think his workplace would be very impressed at all. You either need to speak to your manager and get your contract changed to WFH, or start going in more regularly to be honest. It sounds like you are actually breaching the terms of your contract, and not going in when they've asked you to for meetings and team building days, is going to piss people off.

rookiemere · 09/12/2023 13:08

You need to try to go in for this as you're the only wage earner in the household. As you don't have a wfh contract its not unreasonable for your employers to expect you in from time to time.

Can you get a coach instead of train ? Ask if it's possible for hotel to be paid up front or put on someone's corporate card. Is it not possible to do it with only one nights hotel and an early start and late finish ?

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 13:12

When it's a workshop/team building thing they like us to all stay at the same hotel usually the hilton or hotel du vin. So we eat dinner and breakfast together.
First train I can get is 7 so I can get there for 1030/11 as I need to get 3 trains and a taxi.

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 09/12/2023 13:17

Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 13:12

When it's a workshop/team building thing they like us to all stay at the same hotel usually the hilton or hotel du vin. So we eat dinner and breakfast together.
First train I can get is 7 so I can get there for 1030/11 as I need to get 3 trains and a taxi.

Then surely they can block book it centrally?

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 09/12/2023 13:18

Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 13:12

When it's a workshop/team building thing they like us to all stay at the same hotel usually the hilton or hotel du vin. So we eat dinner and breakfast together.
First train I can get is 7 so I can get there for 1030/11 as I need to get 3 trains and a taxi.

I'm surprised they don't book that centrally. But I'm also surprised you're allowed to just say you're not going.

rookiemere · 09/12/2023 13:20

Is there absolutely no one you can get a credit card with ?
Even if it's a high APR if you're very strict about only using it for work expenses then it will be paid off in full each month.

TheKnittedCharacter · 09/12/2023 13:21

I expect my team to attend training or meetings in person. This is usually only once a month.

Could you ask HR to change your contract to home based?

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 13:23

No my credit rating is shot. As I have debts I'm slowly paying off.
If it was after Jan payday it would be okish but it needs to come out of Dec and dd has a school trip to France which she needs spending money for in Jan as well.

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 09/12/2023 13:27

I go every 3 months approx if I'm feeling lonely. I also have accommodation and travel paid if I go. If press for that if you can. Then they'd realize the costs and that'd help push back.

SylvieLaufeydottir · 09/12/2023 13:29

If the company will pay and the only problem is that you can't front the money for a month to get reimbursed, this is an eminently solvable problem that just requires that you talk to them. "I'm very happy to come for the meeting, but can my travel be booked on a corporate card, because I can't cover it for that long" is going to go over a hell of a lot better than a flat refusal to come in when you haven't been in in seven months.

You're in a precarious position. If they choose to enforce your contract and expect you in the office 2-3 days a week, you'll have zero legs to stand on, unless you have rare and highly valuable skills.

Cheeesus · 09/12/2023 13:29

In your shoes I’d try and get in every couple of months, but cut down the costs. So stay the night before, get the bus to work and back from the hotel/to the train station and then head back at 4pm that day. Take snacks with you, eg a couple of apples, water bottle, couple of Tupperware containers of nuts etc. Then you only need to buy a sandwich.

Is there not a cheaper hotel?

MuckyPlucky · 09/12/2023 13:31

OP, you’re coming across as quite flakey TBH. Making obvious excuses, finding barriers, exaggerating the pitfalls.

The fact you don’t have the money to attend your contracted place of work is really concerning. Do you not budget for the money to get to work?? You’re saving all that salary each month on not bothering to go in, but when you need to attend you cry poverty.

Do you not have any money saved at all for emergencies? Which you could dip into in order to go to work (and then staggeringly get reimbursed)?

NigelHarmansNewWife · 09/12/2023 13:35

SylvieLaufeydottir · 09/12/2023 13:29

If the company will pay and the only problem is that you can't front the money for a month to get reimbursed, this is an eminently solvable problem that just requires that you talk to them. "I'm very happy to come for the meeting, but can my travel be booked on a corporate card, because I can't cover it for that long" is going to go over a hell of a lot better than a flat refusal to come in when you haven't been in in seven months.

You're in a precarious position. If they choose to enforce your contract and expect you in the office 2-3 days a week, you'll have zero legs to stand on, unless you have rare and highly valuable skills.

Absolutely this - you need to speak with your manager about the practicalities of paying for this. I would let them know your DH isn't working making it a real stretch near Christmas

CombatBarbie · 09/12/2023 13:36

There's credit cards for bad credit. It will do your credit score good tbh.

Or ask for a corporate credit card.

My sisters company will do either corporate card or expenses and it's a small (but national company).

It does sound like you are making excuses tbh.

Ilikewinter · 09/12/2023 13:38

3 trains there and back?? ..... could I ask why on earth you thought it was a good idea to take a job with a 3 train, 4 hour commute - with an office based contract?....surely you must have acknowledged that some office attendance would be required?.

YoullCatchYourDeathInTheFog · 09/12/2023 13:39

SylvieLaufeydottir · 09/12/2023 13:29

If the company will pay and the only problem is that you can't front the money for a month to get reimbursed, this is an eminently solvable problem that just requires that you talk to them. "I'm very happy to come for the meeting, but can my travel be booked on a corporate card, because I can't cover it for that long" is going to go over a hell of a lot better than a flat refusal to come in when you haven't been in in seven months.

You're in a precarious position. If they choose to enforce your contract and expect you in the office 2-3 days a week, you'll have zero legs to stand on, unless you have rare and highly valuable skills.

This! If you were my report I'd be getting a bit antsy at never seeing someone who is contracted to work in the office, and in particular them always bailing on team away days. Presumably your employers are not paying out for posh hotels all round for the fun of it, they believe there's actual benefit to in person get togethers.

If the problem is genuinely just a cash flow one then Talk To Them. Most employers would be fine to pre-expense legitimate costs like that on a company card. And over the course of the stay if money's as tight as you say you'll be better off to the tune of several free meals and some hotel mini shampoo bottles - every little helps.

Olika · 09/12/2023 13:41

I used to WFH and go to office once a month on my own expense. As your contract doesn't state you WFH then I think you do have to find a way to make it work every now and then.

Copperoliverbear · 09/12/2023 13:44

Tell them the truth you can't afford it upfront could they give you a card ?

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 13:45

When I started I asked how often I'd need to be in the office and was told it would be 2 to 3 times a year. Dh was working so I could afford it.
Now we're trying to cover everything on my salary it's not possible to have a floating x amount of money for work trips.
I don't drive so its bus-3 trains- taxi to the office.

OP posts:
HamstersAreMyLife · 09/12/2023 13:47

I live 2 hours from my main office and we've been told to go in 3x a week. Like you I have an office based contract so have to suck it up. Several colleagues live further and have now applied for other jobs or, if suitable, formalised wfh due to disability. I live 3.5 hours from our sister office and can do a return journey in a day so I don't understand why you feel you need to stay 2 nights? My work pay if I'm not at my main office so I think you are lucky to get expenses. Perhaps think about how you manage this, ultimately this is the contract you signed up to. When I had a similar commute I did an early morning trip, one overnight stay and then late night return as it made it more affordable (staying in a pit and having antisocial fixed trains which were cheaper). I don't think your work are being unreasonable.

Workingmumlife1 · 09/12/2023 13:50

are you expenses even covered if that’s your actual place of work?

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 09/12/2023 13:52

I do understand that they are being reasonable. They pay me back and I get to stay in a nice hotel, good food and lovely people.
I know it's my fault for being so far away. I can't get a late train as I can't get home after our buses stop at 9 and it's nigh on impossible to get a taxi to our village

OP posts:
BoredWithLife · 09/12/2023 13:53

Workingmumlife1 · 09/12/2023 13:50

are you expenses even covered if that’s your actual place of work?

This - you can't claim expenses for travel to your base location - on the random off chance your company is different and allow it, the tax man won't, it will be classed as a benefit and you'll need to update your tax accordingly

cocomamia · 09/12/2023 13:55

Is there a friend you can crash at for a relatively low price?