I'd this "normal" for a 7 year old girl

[delilabell]

I need to explain first that I have a son with additional needs and I suffer from anxiety so I don't know what is normal and what isn't but I'm concerned about my daughter . I'm going to bullet point of that's ok?
She is a gorgeous, kind, funny girl. She loves reading , adores animals and thinks constantly about others.
But

• shes in year 3 but is on year 2 spellings
• struggles with spellings in general (sentences have loads of mistakes)
• is highly emotional. I actually get worried about saying I don't understand something she's explaining because she will scream and sob.

-she reactes the same if she doesn't understand something with her work (at home)

• she will have huge meltdowns literally kicking and throwing around ok the floor

-she clings to me constantly. Still sleeps in our bed (comes in in the night) has to be touching me/holding my hand. -is struggling with friendships. I think she's a lot younger emotionally than her friends.

• school describe her as "very emotional"

I've asked for a meeting with school on Monday but I worry they will think I'm being a helicopter parent. It's been assesment week this week and so the teacher said for it to be next week so she'll have her results.

Apologies for spelling mistakes too

You don’t mention what additional needs your son has, but as you’ll know many ASN are hereditary and do often show up in more than one child in a family.
I hope the school is helpful and supportive. It sounds as though your DD could use support in some form or other whether that’s with an anxiety, literacy or socially… and of course there may be something underlying all of those different strands.

@goodkidsmaadhouse thank you for replying.

My ds is adopted so they're not biologically related.
Other things I forgot to say:
-she is obsessed with dates. She knows and remembers everyone's birthdays, dates she did things etc.

• she panics about being late for things. We can't say we'll be late, we need to hurry anything like that because she gets so upset and hysterical.

Some of those sound like my ASD daughter. I'm sure the teacher will be happy to chat to you.

Sorry I shouldn’t have assumed they were bio siblings 🙂I hope it goes well OP.

No please don't apologise!
School have said she's behind in maths ans spag.
Her test results were 82 for spag, 84 for maths, 123 for spelling.
They say she daydreams, doesn't sit on her chair properly but "not to worry as she's not the worst" 🙄
They're going to do dyslexia screening and let me know.

I would be thinking ADHD or ASD.

I would want to know what strategies school are putting in place for her eg wobble cushion for seat, social skills group work.

Is your daughter summer born and therefore young for the year?

Is your DD adopted? Is her brother older or younger? How old was she when he was adopted? Does she get any emotional support for her - living with a sibling with SEN or who is adopted from care will probably be having an impact on.

I think there's enough markers there to consider whether she is neurodiverse. It sounds more like ASD or ADHD than dyslexia to me.

The sitting on the chair thing immediately leapt out at me because my son (who has ASD/ADHD) absolutely cannot sit on a chair. He either has to have both feet up on the chair or adopt a semi-sit/stand position with half his body hanging off the side. He is under-sensitive to tactile stimulation (touch) so cannot feel his body in relation to the chair easily and needs to 'ground' himself. Wobble cushions help hugely and are relatively inexpensive.