Physical Grief

[Grievingdream]

Just a question really, whether most people feel physical pain when grieving?

Crushing pain in the chest and waves throughout the body, that churning feeling of the waves of grief. Or is this experienced differently for different people?

Grief is different for everyone, but within that range physical symptoms are entirely normal. Our mind and body are connected.

Yes absolutely. Have previously lost a parent and parent in law and although very sad not felt physical pain in the way I am feeling now, having lost my 29 year old daughter in law and mother of my baby Grandson. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.

@Hopealong I'm so sorry for your loss x

Yes. My skin burned with grief. There's no other way to describe it. It was physically painful.

Yes, definitely a physical sense of grief alongside the emotional turmoil.

Yes, definitely physical. The nature of the physical sensations will vary a lot between people (as is already clear in this thread) but I think it is pretty common to have some physical symptoms.
Also, though, I'm sure it is quite normal not to have any physical manifestation. Everyone is different, every way of being in grief is ok and legitimate and real. xxx

It does affect people differently. When I lost my sister grief manifested itself in crippling anxiety and not wanting to leave home

A physical experience that I had was the sensation that I was about to collapse, fall to the ground, at any moment. The only thing keeping me upright was an odd feeling that it was somehow easier to stand still than to fall. More passive, more inert.
You often hear about the 'fight or flight' reflex -- the hormone-mediated respone to severe stress. I think that should be called the 'fight, flight or collapse reflex'. There are some situtions so severe that our body tells us that the only safe thing is to play dead. That is where the sense of collapse comes from. We just want to fall into nothing.

Yes, there was a physical element to my grief when my mum died. I couldn't actually eat breakfast for a few weeks because my throat and chest would kind of close in on themselves.

Oh God yes, everything seemed to hurt. I can remember feeling as if my skin was burning, as@DianaTiana describes.

I seemed to be bent in on myself too if that makes sense, as if I was going to sink to the ground, tho I never did. Horrible, awful time, wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

I feel that heavy feeling in my heart, it has never gone away since DH died 20 months ago.

Yes. The worst pain ever.. absolutely physical. Difficult to describe but like I'd been punched/knifed in the chest. I've never experienced a pain like it and hope to never again.

Yes my dad died in his 40s. I got bad chest pains in the bone, my GP actually said it was grief related,

Definitely yes. My husband died 3 and a half years ago and I am still very much experiencing physical symptoms of grief. Whatever you are experiencing look after yourself, speak to your doctor if you are worried OP.

YY chest and stomach pain. Like being punched especially when the initial period of grief has passed and you get a sudden oof. Gut punch. Heartbreak. That's that pain.

Yes, OP absolutely. I have never felt pain like it, it was horrendous, especially when it's mixed in with other things that come with grief like insomnia and the constant overthinking, its a truly awful awful experience and i am so very sorry for your loss.

People said it must have been awful with me loosing my amazing mum, (and she was my bestfriend and a million other things) when our DS was only 5 months, but while it destroyed me, he made me continue to function, i couldn't fully breakdown although i felt like i wanted to.

I was brought up by my grandfather. When he died I felt I had a heavy stone in my chest that hindered my breathing. It lasted for months and returned now and again.Just thinking of him brings that memory back.

PPs talking about burning skin is interesting. After my sister died, I had constant itching, hot skin randomly at different parts of my body - sometimes shoulders, sometimes tummy, sometimes upper arms. It was unbearable. I didn’t connect it with grief. She was so young, with young children and suffered so much for a long time.

It's still very raw for me but when my dad died suddenly, my mum, my sister & I all reacted very differently. My mum - who has always been incredibly robust - suddenly became very tottery on her feet. My sister - superfit - was full of physical pain & couldn't move at all. For some reason, I was filled with fury and had an absolute burning ball of energy inside me that was absolutely useless. I spent about 6 weeks tapdancing to 'Town Called Malice' in my kitchen every day to try & get rid of it (I cannot tapdance).

I tried to rationalise it by telling myself that my body was doing a kind of emotional detox, and I just had to ride the storm. Physical grief is very much a thing.

Since my beloved grandmother died at Easter this year, I have suffered physically as well as mentally. The sadness comes and goes but I feel so much more exhausted, with a tight headache most days. I have lost almost 7 kilos (wasn’t that heavy before) and now have high BP. I am only 32. And I have been a competitive swimmer for 7 years. For months when I trained it felt like I had my dog on my shoulders as I swam (doggo is a 35kg labrador!)

you absolutely can feel pain OP.

God bless you. All the best.

I had pain in my chest after my husband died. I also missed a period with the grief. A few months later I picked up every infection going, including scarlet fever because I was so run down. Grief is awful.

Yes definitely. I had an unexpected loss of a sibling a coupling of months ago and it was physically gruelling.
Stomach in a knot, a heavy weight on my chest, shaking, insomnia, loss of appetite.
Adrenaline surges that just wouldn't stop, sweating yet freezing cold.
It's calmed a little now but I'm very anxious still.

I did when my husband died.

When I had to tell my late mother that her younger sister had died, the first thing she said was 'It hurts.'

After I lost my husband, I knew what she meant.