Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

autism/sen he's not that bad

5 replies

Fixit23 · 07/12/2023 19:39

I have a friend who works with special needs children in a nursery. They have heigh complex needs/asd.

Even before she worked at this place she was always saying oh your boy is not that bad his speech is really good he's talking well. Now she worjd thete she keeps comparing my son to the children she works with.

My son does have words lots of them. But he can't have a proper conversation. But she thinks he can because she talks for him when ever she talking to him.

He can't follow instructions well. Understand rules of a game how to play etc . He's in year 4 working at year 1 level

Now I have written this it feels very petty
It pisses me of though so still going to post

OP posts:
itsmyp4rty · 07/12/2023 19:52

Maybe she's just trying to be positive because she thinks it's kind and helpful? I understand though that it can just feel like she's minimising his and your challenges. I'm not sure really what the answer is though to be honest - maybe choose someone else to discuss any issues with and keep things light with her.

Original poster
Fixit23 · 07/12/2023 20:17

itsmyp4rty · 07/12/2023 19:52

Maybe she's just trying to be positive because she thinks it's kind and helpful? I understand though that it can just feel like she's minimising his and your challenges. I'm not sure really what the answer is though to be honest - maybe choose someone else to discuss any issues with and keep things light with her.

I don't discuss things with her . She's the one that brings it up. Yeah maybe she thinks she's being kind. I'm probably being a little sensitive to be honest.

OP posts:
foulksmills · 07/12/2023 20:36

This would massively piss me off (especially today!). I would counter with "Really? Does he really seem 'not that bad' to you? Cool. So is that you offering to change his nappy?

Or to get some bits in the shop for me because I can't bring him into a shop because "is too loud!" And also because he has some kind of obsession with receipts that I don't understand but upsets him very much.

Can I send him to you when he's screaming at me because it's raining, or because the TV volume isn't on '7', or because I've tried to wipe his face with a damp cloth?

Can I use your washing machine because I can't put mine on when he's here because the noise scares him.

Would you like to take him out for 20 minutes so I can do some vacuuming because the noise of the vacuum cleaner scares him? Make it an hour and maybe I could get the lawn mowed too because the noise of the lawnmower scares him? I mean, I'm sure you won't mind doing that? After all, he's 'not that bad', right?"

And I'd probably lose a friend. A friend who doesn't understand all the extra fun and games involved with parenting an autistic child. I'm okay with that.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Primary education SEN
Original poster
Fixit23 · 07/12/2023 20:55

foulksmills · 07/12/2023 20:36

This would massively piss me off (especially today!). I would counter with "Really? Does he really seem 'not that bad' to you? Cool. So is that you offering to change his nappy?

Or to get some bits in the shop for me because I can't bring him into a shop because "is too loud!" And also because he has some kind of obsession with receipts that I don't understand but upsets him very much.

Can I send him to you when he's screaming at me because it's raining, or because the TV volume isn't on '7', or because I've tried to wipe his face with a damp cloth?

Can I use your washing machine because I can't put mine on when he's here because the noise scares him.

Would you like to take him out for 20 minutes so I can do some vacuuming because the noise of the vacuum cleaner scares him? Make it an hour and maybe I could get the lawn mowed too because the noise of the lawnmower scares him? I mean, I'm sure you won't mind doing that? After all, he's 'not that bad', right?"

And I'd probably lose a friend. A friend who doesn't understand all the extra fun and games involved with parenting an autistic child. I'm okay with that.

💐 I'm sorry things are hard for you and your son. I hope you have some support .

OP posts:
foulksmills · 07/12/2023 22:04

@Fixit23 Thank you ❤️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page