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Original poster

Woman so loud in restaurant today...

88 replies

MinnietheMoaner · 07/12/2023 16:16

There was one woman in particular who was SO LOUD in a pub restaurant today - she talked loudly and she laughed loudly. We were at the next table and struggled to hear ourselves talk. I wish I had the courage to get up and say "excuse me but we can hardly hear ourselves talk because of you " but surely that would be a bit rude?
There wasn't the option to move to another table. We heard all about her and Alfie and the woman with all the dark skin around her ankles.
No chance of giving her the evils as she was in full entertainment mode for her table. People like this are such a PITA. Just a vent here!

OP posts:
barbarahunter · 08/12/2023 11:34

We had this yesterday. It was a young woman who seemed to be very excited by the fact that she was in a very ordinary bar with a group of workmates. Ruined our drink.

DisforDarkChocolate · 08/12/2023 11:36

I have had a encounter like this and feck was he dull. He just went on and on and on about himself, and so fecking loud! I can joke about it now but he left me exhausted.

DisforDarkChocolate · 08/12/2023 11:37

I have had a encounter like this and feck was he dull. He just went on and on and on about himself, and so fecking loud! I can joke about it now but he left me exhausted.

DisabledDemon · 07/01/2024 23:05

I've taught some teenagers like this. I had two girls who were sitting right next to each other but they were screaming their conversation at each other at the top of their voices. When I asked why they were screaming, they looked at me in total bewilderment and asked what I meant. They actually said ' But this is normal. This how we always talk.'

Often, they don't seem to have any filters or any sense of restraint. It doesn't occur to them that they're disturbing anyone else because what they have to say is just sooo important and sooo interesting. And so they grow up, believing that everything they have to say is utterly riveting.

OwlWeiwei · 07/01/2024 23:09

I was at an exhibition once where two men were BRAYING non stop. Standing in front of tiny exhibits, blocking the view for others but not looking at the art work, while they went on and on about how awful the people are in the part of the world where the exhibition was from.

In the end, a middle aged woman went up to them and calmly said: you are ruining this for everyone. I can't hear myself think, let alone hear my friend if she wants to quietly comment about the exhibition to me. And you are blocking exhibits and not even looking at them.' They tried to protest but she just calmly said, 'No. You are too loud. it is unnecessary. No one can enjoy the exhibition.' They shut up after that.

I was in awe of her.

All2Well · 07/01/2024 23:11

Ugh, a woman like this ruined my birthday meal last year. She appeared to be celebrating a colleague's retirement.

My poor friends all had babies and toddlers and had waited months for a night out and some nice adult company. We all wanted to cry. It was so loud we couldn't chat at all.

The other tables around us all asked to move as we did but the restaurant was busy. She was irritating the staff too.

There was no way she wasn't aware. The more she could see she was upsetting people the more and her mates seemed to get egged on.

Loubelle70 · 07/01/2024 23:26

frozendaisy · 07/12/2023 18:01

It's a pub not a library

I agree. Im loud..i do have limited hearing in left ear. You may think she was 'too' loud...you may be 'too' quiet?

Christmasnutcracker · 07/01/2024 23:34

girlfriend44 · 07/12/2023 21:46

She's every right to be there as you have and she dosent have to change to suit you?
Nobody has to please you.

This isn't true though. Of course people have to change their behaviours when in public/close proximity to others. E.g. People don't sneeze loudly in the direction of nearby tables or the person sitting next to them. People don't generally fart loudly in public whereas they might at home.

A few months ago, three of us were in a small restaurant. The tables were so close to one another and there were three women seated at the table beside me. One of them was incredibly loud. She didn't care how loud she was but it was awful. At one point, we all stopped talking because we couldn't hear each other at all. The waiters handed her the bill before she asked for it. You could tell they were completely tired of her. As soon as the table payed, the waiters began clearing it while the women were still sitting there. She then asked if they were 'trying to get her out' and the waiter smiled and asked if she wanted him to help with her coat. I don't think the woman was aware of how loud she was and if she was, she didn't care at all. The whole restaurant sighed with relief when she left.

AyeRightYeAre · 07/01/2024 23:42

Maybe this was me.

I have significant hearing loss and have no idea what volume I'm speaking at unless people tell me.

Restaurants and busy places are particularly difficult and confusing for me

Allwelcone · 07/01/2024 23:54

My friend went through a stage of laughing very loudly, think very "musical" or "social" in style.
She was asked to pipe down in a pub/restaurant and was mightily offended!
However....the laugh has healed itself and become more normal.

WhateverMate · 07/01/2024 23:58

Probably pissed.

There's at least 3 or 4 regular loud mouths in every pub 🤷‍♂️

NoMoreBeers · 08/01/2024 08:04

I have a friend who is very loud. I love her but find it very embarrassing in bars and restaurants.

usedtobeasizeten · 08/01/2024 09:04

Chamomileteaplease · 07/12/2023 18:45

Thing is, even if you are hard of hearing, you will know this and therefore surely moderate your voice?? It doesn't give you carte blanche to be really loud.

My friend is hard of hearing (two hearing aids) we have a signal when she gets too loud….

Jurgenkloppsweddingring · 08/01/2024 11:08

"There was no way she wasn't aware. The more she could see she was upsetting people the more and her mates seemed to get egged on"

Unfortunately this is very common where I live (Middlesbrough/Teesside area)- they don't care, and if they see they're upsetting someone they just get louder or even abusive. For some reason, and I don't know if its just me, but they always seem to gravitate to the lone innocent person just trying to have a quiet meal/pint- even if there's plenty of seats available.

I had this on a local bus just last week. It was a long bus ride to a different town to meet my partner. This scruffy lad got on not long after me. I was sitting right at the back minding my own business. He initially sat a few seats in front of me but then looked back at me and moved to the back seats so he was sitting across from me. He proceeded to have a full volume conversation on his phone, laughing loudly throughout. I'd finally had enough and told him to please keep it down. I was met with a barrage of abuse and insults.

Despite that, i really wish more people would stand up to these arseholes. That said, this area is full of people like this- they don't like it when you call them out- and is one of many reasons that I'm moving to a new, much friendlier city soon.

Wytchy · 08/01/2024 11:11

Can’t stand a Booming Betty or Booming Barry bellowing when everyone else around them is just chatting at a normal volume.

You should have thrown a sausage roll at her.

DaftFlerken · 08/01/2024 11:19

I have a friend like this who is hard of hearing & wears hearing aids - should I tell her she's annoyingly loud?

Allwelcone · 08/01/2024 11:49

DaftFlerken · 08/01/2024 11:19

I have a friend like this who is hard of hearing & wears hearing aids - should I tell her she's annoyingly loud?

Could do I guess if you feel it's really necessary. I'm thinking it doesn't bother you so why would you consider it?

My friend who is part deaf is often asked kindly to be quieter at work, and asks people whether she is talking too loudly.

DaftFlerken · 08/01/2024 12:07

It doesn't bother me at all - it bothers me a little that people are automatically labelling this woman as annoying & self important when they actually don't know the facts

Falkenburg · 08/01/2024 12:13

"Please would you not shriek and talk so loudly, we can't hear each other on our table!"

Unless it's 'Ten pints a night Doreen' who likes a bit of fisticuffs, most people will tone it down.

If it is Ten pints Doreen then up your standards in the type of drinking establishment that you frequent for a meet up with friends to have a drink and go out for an afternoon tea instead.

AngelinaFibres · 08/01/2024 12:44

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 08/12/2023 09:08

I wonder if a man was talking this loudly if it would have jarred so much.. sometimes we can have internalized sexism

We have a man in our walking group. His speaking voice is just about bearable in the open air but in the pub its painful and his laugh is really really painful. He likes to go on and on and on about extreme marathon running and himself ( that's very much his favourite subject)so thankfully we have nothing in common and I made a point of sitting as far away from him as possible.

usedtobeasizeten · 08/01/2024 13:18

Twilight7777 · 07/12/2023 18:54

As a deaf person, yes it is ableist! You don’t learn to do it, you are told by people to ‘be quieter’ because it’s impossible to know how loud you are speaking. You wouldn’t expect an autistic person to tone down their behaviour.

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…..and yet my deaf friend WANTS to know if she’s being too loud 🤷🏼‍♀️

SerafinasGoose · 08/01/2024 13:36

There's usually one of these in every railway carriage. Often more than one. Makes no odds whether you've booked the 'quiet coach' or not.

This coupled with the fact that even on morning journeys to London on the East Coast main line, the whole train very often reeks of booze by the time we've reached Grantham. The conversation grows more raucous with every mile. During evenings it can feel very threatening. In some cases, I think these people are actively 'daring' other passengers to challenge them.

It's like travelling to and from London with Salacious Crumb. Not infrequently in triplicate. These days I never, ever board a train or plane without noise-cancelling earphones and an eye mask.

SerafinasGoose · 08/01/2024 13:38

AngelinaFibres · 08/01/2024 12:44

We have a man in our walking group. His speaking voice is just about bearable in the open air but in the pub its painful and his laugh is really really painful. He likes to go on and on and on about extreme marathon running and himself ( that's very much his favourite subject)so thankfully we have nothing in common and I made a point of sitting as far away from him as possible.

Show quote history

Same: I dread small groups of 2-3 men getting in the hydropool or sauna at the gym. Some are okay. A not insignificant number think the whole room is avid to hear their noisily amplified (and extremely boring) conversation.

Some people just emit noise, on a more-or-less constant basis.

TinkerTiger · 08/01/2024 13:44

Curious - if you're hard of hearing, doesn't that mean that everyone you're with needs to speak loud so that you can hear them? If the whole rest of the table manages to speak in a normal voice then surely the issue isn't that the one person shouting is hard of hearing?

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 08/01/2024 13:53

A friend’s birthday meal was ruined by someone like this. She was on a table next to us which was obviously a work do. Words cannot describe the stentorian volume of this woman’s horrendous voice as she filled the entire restaurant with what sounded like a screaming, screeching banshee on steroids. I literally would have peppered her with lead, aiming for her mouth, had I had an available double-barrelled sawn-off shotgun.

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