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Original poster

Do you think this is too far to regularly commute

29 replies

settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:16

DH might soon be moving bases with work

They are suggesting he moves 35 miles away, about 55 minute drive with no traffic possibly as much as 1.5 if traffic is moderate to heavy.

He is a shift worker and does a mixture of days and nights so won’t usually be travelling at peak traffic times. Experienced driver but he will also be driving all night.

My concerns are that it’s going to cost a fortune in petrol and to me it seems a bit of a risk regularly driving nearly 40 miles after a 10 hour night of being awake all night.

He wants to try and move to somewhere nearer and is asking about it but also thinks it won’t be such a big deal if he has to commute and is keen to go the extra mile - literally - as he wants to progress. He is a very hard worker.

Currently, his commute is 2 miles each way and less than 10 minutes in the car. I think the new suggested base is a massive difference especially when sleep deprived. He will also be time poor and lose at least an extra 2 hours of the day just through moving. I would burn out if this were me.

Do you think it’s going to be too much or am I being a bit OTT?

OP posts:
Brachytherapyquestions · 06/12/2023 21:20

I do about an hour each way with 12.5 hour shifts plus I'm not allowed to park on site so have to allow 20-25 minutes on either side of my shift to account for that. It costs a fortune but it is okay otherwise. Sometimes a long drive is a good way to decompress before you get home. After nights or if doing more than two shifts in a row it can be very tiring.

Doyoumind · 06/12/2023 21:22

YABU. That's not an excessive commute.

Brachytherapyquestions · 06/12/2023 21:22

Basically if he is doing three or four shifts a week and getting a day/night off after two then it's fine, imo. Depending on his current health and wellbeing of course.

Edit: I forgot he is doing 10-hour shifts. I think that's okay.

rwalker · 06/12/2023 21:22

It’s in the range of normal that type of commute

Original poster
settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:23

Brachytherapyquestions · 06/12/2023 21:22

Basically if he is doing three or four shifts a week and getting a day/night off after two then it's fine, imo. Depending on his current health and wellbeing of course.

Edit: I forgot he is doing 10-hour shifts. I think that's okay.

Edited

Usually does three or four in a row that’s why I’m worried.

OP posts:
Superduper02 · 06/12/2023 21:25

Not advisable OP.

Brachytherapyquestions · 06/12/2023 21:26

settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:23

Usually does three or four in a row that’s why I’m worried.

Show quote history

That's not terrible and he can always ask to change his pattern if needs be. I've insomnia and that's why I find three or four in a row tough. I think you're worrying a little too much. He's an adult and he can gauge for himself if it's unsustainable :) it's good that he is keen to progress!

User562377 · 06/12/2023 21:27

Can he stay in a Premier Inn the odd night? I wouldn't be keen on that 4 nights in a row either. But unless it was a 100% definitely permanent move to the new base I wouldn't be keen to move house either

Itsbeginningtolookalotlike · 06/12/2023 21:28

It's about the same as my DH does and he has no issue with it. I worried when he did night shifts but he says you just adapt to it

Original poster
settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:28

Superduper02 · 06/12/2023 21:25

Not advisable OP.

Thanks I thought this. I am just worried he’d fall asleep at the wheel. He’s never done that before obviously but it’s such a long way isn’t it after a run of prob 4-5 hours broken sleep for lots of nights

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 06/12/2023 21:28

Is it an actual promotion with more money or just trying to be pleasing to the boss?

Original poster
settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:28

User562377 · 06/12/2023 21:27

Can he stay in a Premier Inn the odd night? I wouldn't be keen on that 4 nights in a row either. But unless it was a 100% definitely permanent move to the new base I wouldn't be keen to move house either

Hoping it’s not permanent he might even be able to be somewhere nearer yet. Hopefully

OP posts:
TheGhostOfTheOpera · 06/12/2023 21:28

I agree with you that it sounds a lot.

BUT you could also try it for a couple of months and see how it goes.
If too much and he likes the job, then you can move (assuming it’s not then impacting you too badly). Or he can decide to look fir another job closer to home.

itsmyp4rty · 06/12/2023 21:29

How much job/pay progression will he make for losing at least 2 hours in time each day and an extra 330 miles of petrol per week?

Original poster
settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:29

SleepingStandingUp · 06/12/2023 21:28

Is it an actual promotion with more money or just trying to be pleasing to the boss?

No more money, no, but possibly more opportunities to progress.

OP posts:
Original poster
settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:30

itsmyp4rty · 06/12/2023 21:29

How much job/pay progression will he make for losing at least 2 hours in time each day and an extra 330 miles of petrol per week?

Edited

In the long run a lot. Not much more in the immediate 2 years or so, in fact prob the same or slightly worse off due to fuel and car wear and tear

OP posts:
TheGhostOfTheOpera · 06/12/2023 21:30

settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:28

Hoping it’s not permanent he might even be able to be somewhere nearer yet. Hopefully

Show quote history

In that case, he needs to get a lot if clarity from his company first.

itsmyp4rty · 06/12/2023 21:30

settlethisone · 06/12/2023 21:29

No more money, no, but possibly more opportunities to progress.

Show quote history

In that case - no chance.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 06/12/2023 21:31

Itsbeginningtolookalotlike · 06/12/2023 21:28

It's about the same as my DH does and he has no issue with it. I worried when he did night shifts but he says you just adapt to it

This! Dh does it on top of 9- 12 hour shifts. I don’t expect anything of him once he’s home though. He also refuses overtime on his sixth day.

Nothankyou22 · 06/12/2023 21:32

If there’s no immediate benefit then no, my brother commutes twice a week with the occasional stop over but it’s worth it for the decent pay increase, plus mileage and wear and tear payments.

Mumaway · 06/12/2023 21:32

Does it come with a salary boost that makes it worth it? Or can he negotiate that to at least cover the extra time and fuel costs?

Fedupbeingworriedallthegoddamntime · 06/12/2023 21:33

So basically a pay cut and more unpaid hours?

Wahtnow · 06/12/2023 21:34

In his shoes I'd probably be thinking about changing jobs, depending on how it panned out in reality because I wouldn't choose spend all that time commuting, but I don't think he'll sucessfully argue it's an unreasonable commute, it's not unusual for people to travel that time/distance for work.

boamorte · 06/12/2023 21:34

It will take some getting used to, going from ten minutes each way to an hour each way

I had a driving job once which relocated. It went from six miles each way to 26 miles each way. If that wasn't bad enough, it was also shifts so if I did a 4pm I was on until midnight in theory

The last thing you want after driving all shift is to then drive up to an hour just to get home. I left after a few months. We didn't get any extra money to cover the extra distance either

mimiku · 06/12/2023 21:34

It’s not an excessive amount, plenty of people do it. But personally having been in two jobs a similar distance from home to work as your husbands new role, I wouldn’t choose do it again and only would if I had no other choice. Adding an extra 2-3 hours to your already long day is properly grim.

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