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Original poster

How to sensitively announce pregnancy

35 replies

bluefrills · 06/12/2023 18:15

I recently found out I’m pregnant and had been planning on telling immediate family on Christmas Eve. It’s dawned on me however that this could trigger my sisters mental health.

She had a very traumatic birth around 18 months ago. She has been diagnosed with complex PTSD and also suffered from post partum psychosis. I was aware that around a year ago my cousins pregnancy triggered her mental health.

I obviously don’t want to trigger her so won’t be announcing to my immediate family on Christmas Eve. I’ll tell my mum separately in the way I had planned.

I am looking for advice please on how to sensitively tell my sister I’m pregnant. She’ll obviously need to find out one way or another but I’d like to be mindful of her mental health

OP posts:

Pancakefam · 06/12/2023 20:55

You're being very kind but your experience is important too. By all means let her know gently first, but otherwise don't miss out on the announcement you envisioned.

I was so stressed out trying to consider the feelings of several friends and family members during my pregnancy that I didn't enjoy it in the way I wish I could have and I really regret it now. Your sister will have support.

Wrongsideofpennines · 06/12/2023 20:55

I would speak to BIL and get his advice. Text is good as she can prepare an appropriate response.

But Christmas is a busy time so check in with BIL about when might be a good time to message. Getting it while she's having a nice Christmassy trip out or whatever might not be ideal for example.

tkwal · 06/12/2023 20:58

I REALLY wouldnt text . Getting news like that, especially from a family member can be quite a jolt and I would probably be irritated that you couldn't do it face to face

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GreatGateauxsby · 06/12/2023 20:58

3amShopper · 06/12/2023 18:17

Tell your mum, then get your mum to tell her. Don't overcomplicate or overthink it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

This.

congrats!!!

Coconutter24 · 06/12/2023 21:00

00100001 · 06/12/2023 18:47

Well, you're the one who used announce and then said you wanted to tell everyone on Christmas Eve, implying it was some sort of event/ special announcement...

Just go round to your sister's house and tell her over a cup of tea, like a normal person.

Wether OP does an all singing all dancing announcement or tells family over a cuppa tea it is a special announcement

middlenamestuck · 06/12/2023 21:08

Definitely text, face to face announcements can be so tough to react on the spot

fuckssaaaaake · 06/12/2023 21:25

@salamirose the actual post from the OP is pretty clear it's not a fanfare!

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 06/12/2023 21:31

Oh I wouldn't put her on the spot with the news if you're staying in her house for a few days. I think I would text or call a week or so in advance. Give her time to process it before she sees you.

Best of luck with your pregnancy

KombuchaKalling · 06/12/2023 21:41

Pancakefam · 06/12/2023 20:55

You're being very kind but your experience is important too. By all means let her know gently first, but otherwise don't miss out on the announcement you envisioned.

This. Ok pregnancy severely impacted her mental health and she had fertility issues. But she shouldn’t over shadow the whole thing and you shouldn’t have to tread on egg shells forever

Ok the easily fertile are quite irksome not going to lie. But it’s just one of those things. I say that as someone who it took me 5 years to conceive and 3 rounds of IVF to get there. My husband and l eye roll each other even now about it all. Special shout out to the “friend” who told me l was impatient after 3 years of trying and she lost her shit after 6 months of trying

Fionaville · 06/12/2023 21:55

Of course it is a special event/announcement! To the person who's pregnant, its one of the most special/important announcements you can give! (For most of us anyway) Congratulations OP! Enjoy your pregnancy and I hope it all goes well with your sister.

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