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Original poster

How to divorce when can't afford the fees and no Legal Aid available?

40 replies

EFBF2183331 · 05/12/2023 20:16

Just that really. Legal Aid not available. Low part time wages. Need to leave, would want a clean break but can't afford a solicitor. No family nearby and they wouldn't be able to help anyway. No friends I feel I can open up to. Nowhere to go. Divorce unlikely to be amicable so will need a solicitor.

Feeling very alone and sad. Sometimes I feel like suicide is the only way out but my pets keep me going. Can't deal with DH anymore especially the explosions, my mental, emotional and now physical health is suffering too. I get told not to be the victim, but I am.

OP posts:
Fourmagpies · 06/12/2023 08:17

You can do it without a solicitor. And the court is unlikely to sign off a clean break order where you get nothing. It needs to be fair.

There is a divorce board, ask for your post to be moved there or start a new one. Someone has already linked the Advice Now guides, read them and get a good understanding of the process. There is also a website for litigants in person (self representation) https://iamlip.com/home/

The first thing you need to do is start the ball rolling by applying for the divorce. You can do this yourself online. Then there is a long waiting period which will give you time to start the process needed for the finances. I would be temped to go for financial remedy if you don't think he'll play nicely.

I AM L.I.P

I AM L.I.P - Free Divorce Guide and Forum for Litigants in Person

I AM L.I.P is the UK's leading platform offering a free A to Z dissection to divorce, a forum to share experiences, and L.I.P Wellbeing. Get free help guides for divorce, child custody, finances, and more.

https://iamlip.com/home

gotomomo · 06/12/2023 08:29

I did everything myself. Court fees are reduced for certain low incomes too. Start the process online anyway because the actual legal divorce is easy to do yourself - it's financial orders that are harder and they are actually separate from the divorce

Marionberry · 06/12/2023 09:30

You haven’t written your circumstances, I’m assuming there are no children? what age are you and if you have contributed to those assets do you really want to walk away with nothing at all especially if you are older and have less working years left to finance retirement.

You sound very beaten down, have you talked to anyone at all about the circumstances?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Family law Relationship problems
Singlespies · 06/12/2023 09:35

A clean break does not mean you have to walk away from assets. You are entitled to half the equity in the house and half the pension funds.

There is quite a lot you can do yourself. Get an hour's free advice from a solicitor as a starting point.

There are two parts to a divorce - the 'unmarrying' and the 'splitting the finances'.

Original poster
EFBF2183331 · 06/12/2023 10:55

Marionberry · 06/12/2023 09:30

You haven’t written your circumstances, I’m assuming there are no children? what age are you and if you have contributed to those assets do you really want to walk away with nothing at all especially if you are older and have less working years left to finance retirement.

You sound very beaten down, have you talked to anyone at all about the circumstances?

No children. Rapidly approaching 50. Realise I am probably being irrational by wanting nothing, - although living on the streets isn't an option especially as I have pets. If it wasn't for them I really wouldn't care at all.

Haven't talked to anyone at all about the circumstances. No idea where to start other than an initial consultation with a solicitor.

OP posts:
NowYouSee · 06/12/2023 10:59

Ar nearly 50 if you’ve been married a long time you’d be incredibly foolish to walk away with nothing from this. I know it might seem like the easy option but think of future you.

lljkk · 06/12/2023 20:27

What are your pets?
Renting with pets can be very difficult. They need a home, too.

Original poster
EFBF2183331 · 06/12/2023 23:42

lljkk · 06/12/2023 20:27

What are your pets?
Renting with pets can be very difficult. They need a home, too.

I know. Don't want to rent. Perhaps if a financial settlement could be reached I might be able to afford to buy a small place.

OP posts:
Marionberry · 07/12/2023 11:19

@EFBF2183331

Before you do anything I think you need to tackle what I would consider the stress in your mind. Do you have anyone you can talk to at all? I am not a solicitor unfortunately but have friends divorced and they sound off to me.

I can advise you that some solicitors offer a free 30 minute consultation. I advised a friend to do this armed with a list of questions. Plus told her to take notes on the answers as it’s an emotionally charged situation. I can tell you right now all of them are going for settlements that are their fair share.

lljkk · 07/12/2023 18:47

Could CAB help OP with options?
I don't know if OP meets threshold to get help from a women's aid shelter.

Original poster
EFBF2183331 · 08/12/2023 09:20

Marionberry · 07/12/2023 11:19

@EFBF2183331

Before you do anything I think you need to tackle what I would consider the stress in your mind. Do you have anyone you can talk to at all? I am not a solicitor unfortunately but have friends divorced and they sound off to me.

I can advise you that some solicitors offer a free 30 minute consultation. I advised a friend to do this armed with a list of questions. Plus told her to take notes on the answers as it’s an emotionally charged situation. I can tell you right now all of them are going for settlements that are their fair share.

No-one to talk to. Well, there are, but I don't want to tell them. Counselling is an option but more expense.

OP posts:
Original poster
EFBF2183331 · 08/12/2023 09:22

lljkk · 07/12/2023 18:47

Could CAB help OP with options?
I don't know if OP meets threshold to get help from a women's aid shelter.

I could try the CAB. Women's Aid might be able to help but I can't go into a refuge as I would have to leave my pets behind and in this area none of the rescues have a domestic abuse fostering scheme.

OP posts:
Tumbler2121 · 08/12/2023 09:33

Divorce is not urgent. Living apart seems to be.

If he is physically and emotionally abusive you can have him removed from the house. Also, you don't want anyone to know? They will when you split up anyway.

lots of info here https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/en/I-am-still-living-with-my-abuser

Plankingplanks · 08/12/2023 13:26

By the time I had divorced I had received and insurance pay out and bought a house. The judge saw what looked like a disproportionate split of the assets and we had to attend court to explain it. It was granted

Ykn · 09/12/2023 14:32

Tumbler2121 · 08/12/2023 09:33

Divorce is not urgent. Living apart seems to be.

If he is physically and emotionally abusive you can have him removed from the house. Also, you don't want anyone to know? They will when you split up anyway.

lots of info here https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/en/I-am-still-living-with-my-abuser

It looks like OP has nowhere to go to be able to live apart.

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