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Kick up the arse required - lazy ungrateful PITA adult dc

6 replies

BloodyAdultDC · 05/12/2023 09:40

My dc was part of the covid cohort who never did gcses, college was a mess of online learning/closures/utter disaster. Zero social stuff really during the formative years, dad not really on the scene. DC is now working in an OK job.

Major major conflicts going on at home. Biggest one is that whilst currently not driving (saving every penny to buy swanky new car) dc has started a job with zero public transport options and is expecting a lift to/from work every day, Mon-Sat. 2 days a week I'm passing so I don't mind, the others so far I've been doing but charging petrol for (dc earns as much as me with minimal board, zero other expenses as saving for swanky new car). DC refuses to do any sort of domestic chores because 'I'm paying board'.

AIBU to expect that there is some support around the house in lieu of the hour (or more) a day I'm taking to taxi dc about?

AIBU to think sod it, with the attitude that I owe dc and should be proud they're working (despite zero consideration for how the fuck they're going to get there), I'm not going to give lifts outside the days I'm passing?

AIBU to say if you don't like it and aren't prepared to muck in then you can move out?

AIBU to think I've been a flake to let it go on for so long and to ask for help/handhold/backbone to tell DC to shape up or ship out?

OP posts:
Aworldofmyown · 05/12/2023 09:42

Board does not include cleaning and chores! It's bed and bills. Tell them to go rent a room somewhere and see who waits on them.

Crikeyisthatthetime · 05/12/2023 09:45

What @Aworldofmyown said, basically.
Your house your rules, or they can try their luck elsewhere.
Have you tried sitting them down and showing them the monthly outgoings?

Seeline · 05/12/2023 09:46

Check local listings to see what a room in a house share costs.
Say if they are not willing to help you will be putting their board up to match the going rate.
Stop the lifts too - could they cycle, Uber etc at least to closest bus/rail connection each end.

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Saggypants · 05/12/2023 09:46

YANBU.

Board doesn't include the price of hiring you as a maid! Lazy sod.

I feel your pain, chores are a daily argument in my house too.

PiggieWig · 05/12/2023 09:47

It’s a tricky stage of parenting isn’t it? YANBU though

BloodyAdultDC · 05/12/2023 09:58

Just checked on Uber and dc would be paying £30 a day to get to work! And they're moaning about a fiver for fuel!

Just checking in a mirror to see if I really do have MUG written on my forehead

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