How to get a 4/5 year old to eat a meal - help!!!

[andjustlikethisorthat]

Ds is a fussy eater, he likes his favourites and would live on pasta and noodles if he could. I keep to the same few meals each week that I know he will at least attempt but meal times are starting to drive me nuts.
Today he took over an hour to eat half a dozen alphabites and a small portion of beans. Refused the sausage. He then said he was still hungry and wanted noodles which he ate most of.
It's exhausting. Surely I shouldn't just give him pasta / noodles everyday?!
If he leaves his dinner then shortly after he's asking for snacks so I know he's hungry but I don't have the funds to be throwing away food, and I certainly haven't got the time to be making multiple meals.

Any advice please?

Personally I try to set ground rules and stick to them, and one of them is that if you are hungry you eat your tea... and there is nothing else after if you don't. So sometimes I'll keep her plate to see if she changes her tune. I also cook a range of things, including things I know she won't like, but serve it with something she will.

Serve a small portion of noodles/pasta with a small portion of the food you want him to eat. If he doesnt finish it he doesnt get anything else. If he is still hungry later he can have that same plate back. The key thing is small portions so it is achievable.

I wouldn't give him noodles or snacks after he's refused to eat his dinner.

Here it goes like this:

Food is served, there is always something on the plate they like. Usually with something that they will eat, but don't love and then something that is new/they're not keen on.

It's on the table for the duration of dinner time (about half an hour). They can eat or not. There is no nagging, bargaining, bribing, praising, punishing.

Dinner is finished and tidied away, but I'll ask if they want me to keep incase they're hungry later.

If they're hungry later I'll warm it for them.

There is no additional food if you haven't eaten your dinner.

If you have eaten you dinner and you're still hungry you're welcome to have seconds or fruit/veg/nuts/yoghurt.

Every meal has something safe he will eat like noodles or pasta. Then some protein and some veg.

Try not to make it a battle - I wouldn't force him to eat but equally do not give snacks soon after he has rejected a meal. If he had some noodles etc then he won't be that hungry. Keep the dinner he's rejected and offer it if he wants something else.

You can try fun ways to get him to try things (in our house eating broccoli means you're a dinosaur eating a tree, we often pretend the sound of crunching peppers is deafening etc)

You need more than two meals. A lot of it is perseverance. Don't let him scream and then he gets crisps etc. Eating together helps too if possible, and setting an example so he sees you eating veg etc.

Honestly I feel I'm a bit old school but DDs (aged 6 and 4) are good eaters.

I would cook him a range of meals over a week, including things he likes but also new things too.

My rules are, that I choose what I serve for dinner but they choose whether to eat it or not. I do not cook any other meals. If they don't like it, or are still hungry they can have bread and butter, fruit or yoghurt. I stick to that quite firmly and when they were younger sometimes had bread/fruit etc for dinner a few nights a week! But eventually they got much better and are now not very fussy at all. I wouldn't have made your DS noodles after he didn't eat his first meal as it's just teaching him that if he faffs around or makes a fuss you'll eventually give in and give him what he wants. What's his motivation for trying new things if he knows he'll eventually get the noodles anyway?

Is he actually hungry when you serve dinner. I find it helps if they are genuinely hungry so limit snacks for an hour and a half before and even then keep them small and light.

You can’t make him eat, that part is on him. You can serve meals that have at least 1 thing he likes, 1 thing he’ll have on a good day and something that’s more of a challenge. Then sit down, eat together and make zero fuss talking about your day etc. After 30 minutes clean up. After he can have fruit and/or a yoghurt but there won’t be an alternative meal served. If it gets to bedtime, and he’s genuinely still hungry, then I don’t mess with sleep so I would offer something boring like a bowl of weetabix or a slice of toast.
(I did this successfully with my mega fussy 3YO and it worked wonders, she’s 6 now and pretty adventurous, eats really well and will always try new things)

I have a fussy eater and I have tried aaaaaaall the tricks in the book. For me - the ignore it, don’t give it attention, don’t make it battle, division of responsibility, etc etc never worked. My child was too stubborn.

in short - I know use a combination of firmness and bribery.

she doesn’t have to eat her dinner but there are NO other options. No snacks. If she eats it nicely she gets lots of praise and pudding. I know this is “wrong” and you shouldn’t praise them for finishing a meal but it’s really made a difference! The whole nonchalant approach didn’t work.

Eat together the same meals. Accept that you may have to do two different vegetables. I hate mushrooms so may cook some broccoli as well if DH wants them and let DD decides what she wants.

Serve fruit or a decent sugar free/low sugar yoghurt as part of the meal, not as a treat/bribery. We had proper pudding for weekends.

Get your child to serve himself a small portion, don't overload his plate. Don't insist on emptying a plate.

Accept that some days children may not like a meal but will eat it at another time.