I've 3 kids under 8, work full time and have no family support. My husband also works full time. I love my job but it has been stressful recently due to certain sensitive factors i cant get into.
I keep getting sick. I keep picking things up and not getting over them and picking more things up. I was already signed off for a week a while ago as I just crashed and burned. I thought I was mostly better but I'm sick again. It's one thing after another.
I feel like my entire life is just go, go, go. My youngest is a toddler and only started sleeping through the night a few months ago. I'm very happy with my lot, but my body seems to keep shutting down. Every time I end up stuck in bed with this or that ailment I feel 'I really needed this rest'.
I'm so burnt out that I can barely function in the evenings. Weekends I feel like I have to really conserve my energy. I used to love doing family activities and getting out and about and now I've nothing in me. I've stopped wearing make up at the weekend as I think it will conserve energy later when I'll need to take it off. As someone who loves style and cosmetics, this isn't like me.
I used to love cooking and now can't face it so my husband has taken over that. Often times I can't face it and just have cereal. I used to be very into my kids diet and made sure they had fruit and healthy snacks. Now I don't care and say yes to whatever they ask for. I've started giving the toddler an ipad to keep her quiet which I never did with my older two.
I'm starting to feel like my body just goes from A to B to C to D every day and I'm just being carried along inside it. I'm just going round and round and round a railway track.
I know it sounds like I'm depressed but I'm not. Inside I feel happy, love to laugh, have great kids and lots of friends. My husband is a star and I'd say does more than his share, but I fear he is at risk of burn out too, now that he is carrying my load too.
In the past we tried to outsource. We've gone through several cleaners but we've had a bad experience with them all and many don't like coming out to us as we live quite remotely. We tried finding a babysitter but she moved away and we haven't found anyone that we trust enough who is available when we needs them. Friends have been taking our kids individually for playmates which has helped a lot.
I just feel like my body is fighting against me and I can't keep going on like this. Im worried im going to end up really ill.
Has anyone any ideas?
I'm not in the UK.
Thank you.