Terrified to tell work I’m pregnant.

[Nervynellis]

I’m 16 weeks and I know my boss will be absolutely furious (but obviously not say anything).

He doesn’t have children and isn’t sympathetic to childcare or family leave but doesn’t openly say anything.

Im 39 and married and although we have one toddler, he won’t be expecting it. I’m in half a mind to put it off until 20 week scan, although I think I’ll be showing too much by then.

What should I say? Fake excitement? It’s going to take me everything to not apologize!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope it goes well for you.

Your boss is a dick. You do not need to tell him yet, so wait for that scan if you prefer. Please don’t apologise. You don’t need to and he should not be making you feel that way. Just tell him the facts , you are pregnant, your expected due date is x, you’ll be taking leave, and plan to come back. Protect yourself.

You say, "I'm pregnant and my due date is on X date. I'm letting you know now so that you can start sorting out maternity cover and also because I will need to be absent for my antenatal medical appointments."

You then bring up any reasonable adjustments or risk assessment you might need.

If your boss is an arsehole about it then you need to document every last little thing he says or does in case you later need to claim discrimination.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Try not to be afraid of what work will think. You are entitled to have children and a family life.

No need to pander to his misogyny OP. You are more than entitled to be, amd to celebrate being pregnant and do whatever you please actually, and also are perfectly and fully entitled to maternity leave.

Whether he likes it or not is irrelevant here. Apologise under no circumstances. I'd just get it over with, as others have said, pass on the facts - expected dates of leave etc and your intentions. If he wants to dwell on his sexist nonsense privately so be it but I'd be gunning for him if he verbalised a word of it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Tell him you're pregnant, and when you hope to start your maternity leave. No need to be terrified. Congrats on your pregnancy.

no apologizing, he was in utero too a long time ago. This is how we human come into the world.

Congratulations!

I didn’t tell my work until after my 20 week scan (second baby). I didn’t show until about 23 weeks.

Even once I thought I’d started showing it was amazing how people didn’t notice - it wasn’t until I was 7 months that people would be sure enough to say oh I didn’t realise you’re pregnant.