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Original poster

Going in ambulance?

48 replies

Spottiwombat · 03/12/2023 16:33

BiL has just whatsapped to say SiL has had a fall and been taken to hospital by the paramedics. She wasn't totally coherent and was feeling sick.

DH just rang his dad to tell him and BiL was whatsapping about the rugby whilst they were talking. We suspect he's stayed home watching the match.

BiL has said to me that SiL is not happy. I didn't ask why...

They have had a long, happy marriage, so we're a bit surprised to hear he's not gone in the ambulance. He's definitely still at home, she's waiting to be seen.

DH is saying he'd have come with me...

What would you or your DH have done in this situation?

No childcare needed.

OP posts:
Toooldtoworry · 03/12/2023 17:30

I have had meningitis. Mil and Fil took me to hospital because an ambulance would have been too long BUT if I had been blue lit one of them would have come with me. As it happens they stayed until my husband could come home from work.

I had no idea who I was or what way was up at the time.

Toooldtoworry · 03/12/2023 17:31

Sorry in answer to your question my DH would have come with or followed in a car.

autienotnaughty · 03/12/2023 17:32

My dad never use to go. It was a combination of

Not being able to drive
Not good at taking charge
Not wanting to leave the dog
Mum telling him not to

Blaupunkt · 03/12/2023 17:34

A couple of years ago, my DH went crashing down the stairs from the top to the bottom, breaking an arm and gashing his head open when it hit the radiator at the bottom, which required stitches.
I waved him off in the ambulance then went to bed.
There was nothing I could do for him, so it seemed pointless going with him.
When I woke up the following morning, he was snoring beside me after getting a taxi home.

CrunchyCarrot · 03/12/2023 17:35

When I had a suspected stroke some years ago (turned out it wasn't) my DP followed in the car. No way would he leave me to it! We had nearly 4 hrs in A&E before I was seen, he just kept himself occupied on his phone.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 03/12/2023 17:36

Depends if she wanted him to. If SIL was reasonably okay and knew he was watching the rugby and that it was important to him (or that he would be grumpy about missing it) she may have preferred he stayed to watch it and then came later. He also might have had a few drinks and so been unable to follow in the car. Even if him joining in the ambulance was a possibility she may have preferred him to wait and go in the car later once she had a better idea of what was going to happen, for example if she’s going to need to stay overnight she might want him at home so he can pack her bag and bring what she needs. Hard to say what he should have done without knowing what she would want him to have done.

CantFindTheBeat · 03/12/2023 17:37

What has the world come to when in real time, you go to an online forum to ask random strangers to query what they would do in a situation that may or may not just have happened to their family member.

Sharing there personal situation with god knows who and asking for judgement,

Jeez, maybe have a look at yourself 🙈

redsky21 · 03/12/2023 17:39

Have had 2 ambulances out in the last month for a parent, both times no one was allowed to go with them.

Anisette · 03/12/2023 17:39

Blaupunkt · 03/12/2023 17:34

A couple of years ago, my DH went crashing down the stairs from the top to the bottom, breaking an arm and gashing his head open when it hit the radiator at the bottom, which required stitches.
I waved him off in the ambulance then went to bed.
There was nothing I could do for him, so it seemed pointless going with him.
When I woke up the following morning, he was snoring beside me after getting a taxi home.

I'm normally pretty calm about things, but I couldn't do that. Suppose, for instance, his head injury turned out worse than you thought and he became unconscious? They would need to talk to you about any medication he was on, any allergies etc. Suppose he couldn't get a taxi home, wouldn't you feel bad about him waiting around while you slept? Worst case scenario, suppose it was really serious and you had lost the chance to be with him?

Original poster
Spottiwombat · 03/12/2023 17:40

This is chat, I was chatting as I was interested in what people would do.

Every day's a school day. 😁

OP posts:
AgnesX · 03/12/2023 17:40

My DH wasn't allowed to come in the ambulance when I was taken in after a mild heart attack. I was coherent and it was 2am so there wasn't much much point really. He was of more use once I'd been admitted and came along with my bag.

AngelinaFibres · 03/12/2023 17:42

Spottiwombat · 03/12/2023 16:52

That's a good point about the car, I didn't realise you needed to follow on.

I'd still want an advocate with me tho.

It was my sister-in-law that fell.

If its a child you go in the ambulance and the other parent follows behind in your car. If the patient is an adult you go in your car because you will need to get yourself ( and possibly them) home afterwards.

PuttingDownRoots · 03/12/2023 17:42

Last time DH went to hospital I didn't actually know until the next day as he didn't want to worry me. He told his work colleagues before me... mainly because he needed a lift from the hospital.

wineoclock90 · 03/12/2023 17:43

AngelinaFibres · 03/12/2023 17:42

If its a child you go in the ambulance and the other parent follows behind in your car. If the patient is an adult you go in your car because you will need to get yourself ( and possibly them) home afterwards.

Show quote history

With my son they allowed both of us in ambulance which we were very grateful for

winesolveseverything · 03/12/2023 17:45

Think it depends on the circumstances.
I work for the ambulance service and the way the hospitals are now, we are often waiting outside for hours with the patient.

Speaking personally as a specific crew: we are not taking relatives with us as there is no room once we are there and both staff members are in the back with the patient.

We care for the patient, feed and water them and do bathroom trips. Also take them to X-ray or CT etc.

We have the relative's contact details and call them once we are going in to be offloaded so they can make their way there if they wish. Only exception is if the patient has dementia and a carer can accompany them.

Relatives are generally happy with this arrangement- if they insist on travelling then they go to the waiting room once we arrive.

It may seem harsh, but the back of an ambulance is a small and claustrophobic place to be stuck in for hours on end. Last week I did 10 hours with the same patient. There is nothing a relative could have done to help in that situation. They can call and FaceTime- we charge phones up if batteries run low.

Obviously is someone is critically ill then we make every effort to take the relative with us.

PuppyMonkey · 03/12/2023 17:47

Very odd not going with her or following in the car. What if she can’t contact him to tell him what’s happening, if she’s being admitted, needs to come home, needs something? Is the husband a twat in general?

fishfingersandchipsagain · 03/12/2023 17:48

Depends entirely on whether SIL wanted BIL there.

I love my DH to bits but would almost always not have him with me in A&E because he is a pain in the arse on that situation, getting impatient at the wait, getting stressed and just generally needing attention.

If I am there without him, I can concentrate on what I need rather than accommodating him. (He does have masses of good qualities, honest!)

winesolveseverything · 03/12/2023 17:48

And obviously we take a parent with us if we have a child patient!
Thankfully they are never held on the back of ambulances.

Blaupunkt · 03/12/2023 17:51

@Anisette They could have phoned me if they needed information.
He could have phoned if he couldn't get a taxi.

Hiddenvoice · 03/12/2023 17:55

I’ve been in ambulance before and my mum was able to come in with me, with my dad following behind in the car.

I think it’s incredibly unreasonable of your bil and don’t blame your sil for being angry. If she’s not feeling well that’s pretty poor of him. She’ll also be worried and sitting alone and bored whilst he’s comfy at home.

olderbutwiser · 03/12/2023 17:57
  1. round here you can certainly go in the ambulance, but
  2. it can be better to follow in your own car so you can get home again if the person is admitted, or if the patient is extremely unwell and you would get in the way/they wouldn't care if you are there or not.

It really does depend.

For me I would probably expect him to come with me in the ambulance, but he's a paramedic so I'd probably want him treating me and we know he could get a lift back home pretty easily.

Digestivechocolate · 03/12/2023 18:00

I don't have a partner..but often been in an ambulance ( disabled) and one of my daughters have always been in with me.. ( yes you are now allowed to go with the patient in an ambulance ( didn't during covid)....

Spacecowboys · 03/12/2023 18:10

I wouldn’t go in the ambulance with an adult relative. I would only follow in my car to A and E if my dp was incapacitated or critically ill and therefore unable to keep me updated himself. A and E is busy enough without me being sat there getting in the way.

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