My heart is so happy!

[Allthescreens]

Ds12 has autism, ADHD & epilepsy. He's a happy sort, so never had any trouble, but equally he has never really had friends.

At primary school he was included in whole class parties & everyone was nice to him. But as they got to Year 5 & 6 & parties were small friend groups, he was never invited. He was fine with this, didn't seem to realise what/if he was missing. But now, in Year 8, we have just returned from the first ever birthday party that he has been invited to as a friend 😍 A group of 5 lads & a girl who all accept each other for who they are. He is even on a WhatsApp group that is not the whole class but just this group! I cannot tell you how happy this makes me feel 🥰

That's so lovely, for him and you. Acceptance and finding some people that can be yours is a wonderful thing x

That made my heart swell 🥰.

My ds has ADHD and autism and struggles too. ( I do think though it bothers me more than him)

That is lovely. So pleased for him (and you)

That's made me smile. I'm happy for you and him!

🥰 awww, that's lovely

That's fabulous op....I have a dc with sn (not asd) and actually she is far happier in secondary school then she was at primary school which was a bit of a surprise to us as we were worried about the move up.

That's just fantastic. I wish this was the rule not the exception.

I feel like he is so lucky. His school is very inclusive on the whole, as it is an international school so lots of kids are 'different' when they start there. Even so, being part of a group of friends feels like a massive achievement that NT people just can't grasp. It's something we have to teach & coach & even now I have to help him to write replies on the WhatsApp group. But he is doing it!

Oh that’s so lovely OP.

DH is giving me funny looks as I’ve gone all teary!

The happiest moments can’t be bought ❤️

That's fantastic. Made me smile! Well done for being alongside him on this journey - you're obviously doing the right things

Thank you @ChocolateCandle. I'm never quite sure if I'm doing it right & there is such a lot of extra 'stuff' to do that I don't have to for his NT brothers. Even then, he has started to struggle academically & medically, so I'm clinging on to these little victories 😁

What a lovely post! I'm happy for him and you.

My son is in year 3 and never gets invited to parties or play dates. It's heartbreaking. He is also asd adhd and I'm so glad your son has found his tribe. It's something I really worry about as he gets older

@superplumb I know that feeling so well. But, in our experience, it does get easier as they get older & move to a bigger school, as there are more people so more likely to find someone they gel with. But I totally understand that doesn't stop you worrying.

That's lovely for both of you! Very touching 💐

🤗

It's so lovely to read a positive post on here, they're very rare! I'm so happy for you and your ds.

My eldest dd14 is best friends (well he's hers, not sure she's his lol) with a lad with asd who is seen as nothing but a trouble maker or annoying, she really can't understand why as she just sees him as being him. She's a really empathetic kid so there's been lots of chats with her about supporting him.

This is such a lovely post. So pleased your son has found a great group of friends 😍

Omg I've just seen a video one of the parents sent through. There was a duelling activity. DS is the smallest kid & went up against the biggest kid. Big kid let him win & all the others were cheering DS on & carefully passed him the dueling stick & told him what to do 😍 Whoever says teenage boys are horrible & uncaring have it wrong with this lot!

I have an update to this!

It was DS2's birthday earlier in the month. He hasn't had a birthday party since Year 2, I think, because he didn't have any friends to invite. And we were on holiday abroad & then Covid.

He had a party today! 6 invited, 4 came, other 2 wanted to but it clashed. He had a lovely time & it made me so happy again. The others all look out for him & they all stuck together, really they look out for each other.

It wasn't easy to arrange. I chose a trampoline park so that he wouldn't have to talk/play games too much. Then him trying to arrange it on WhatsApp, which he doesn't really use/get was very tricky! But I had parents' numbers & arranged it myself. Not the norm for Year 8, but he needs it. We are all keeping in touch & going to arrange more meet ups too. I did feel a little sad when I learned that lots of the group were invited to one of the girl's houses just before Christmas & DS was not, but I guess it's small steps. Tbf, she also wasn't invited to the first party, so I'm probably overthinking it. Although I guess I always will with an autistic child! But overall happy 😊

Thank you for the update, OP!
Sounds like a wonderful party for your son!

I am so happy to read this. 🤗

So following on from this again, I just got a text inviting DS to another party! Then another text saying they meant the message for somebody else 😔 I'm worried that the rest of the 'group' was invited again, but not DS 😔 He probably wouldn't have gone, because it's not an activity he would get & very difficult to get to, but would be nice to think he was invited 😔 I guess I just have to remind myself it's nice he was invited to the first party & got to have one of his own. That's massive progress on a few years ago.