Not coping is anyone around?

bakewellbride · 2023-12-02T20:53:22+00:00

I'm on my knees with my toddler, is anyone there? I've got no help but she's exhausted me and I can't do it

Towwanthustice · 02/12/2023 20:54

Have u not got a friend or family member u can ask a break from?
Whats happened?

Original poster

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 20:55

She woke so many times last night. I'm just so tired. I want her to go to sleep but she won't, I've tried for an hour and it hasn't worked. I'm crying and crying as I type this.

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Ratfinkstinkypink · 02/12/2023 20:55

Toddlers are hard, can you tell us what's happening? Maybe someone can give you some advice

Aquamarine1029 · 02/12/2023 20:56

I'm so sorry, op. Toddlers are a fucking nightmare sometimes. No matter how much you love them, they take you right to the brink. You will get through this.

kweeble · 02/12/2023 20:56

Can you get her milk and a snack for both of you and snuggle up in bed with her?
Is she poorly or overtired? You’ll get through - things will look better in the morning.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/12/2023 20:57

Take her to bed with you. Cuddle, watch videos, listen to music, whatever, until she falls asleep.

tryingsomethingnew · 02/12/2023 20:57

We've all been there. It's okay. Do what you have to do to get through. Give an iPad- iplayer some toddler tv....make sure candles or anything dangerous is put away and have a coffee. You'll be okay.

Treesaregreen1 · 02/12/2023 20:58

Sleep deprivation is the worst, it’s like torture! Your patience is running thin understandably, take a few minutes away from your toddler - lots of deep breaths and try going in and cuddling her to sleep. . . That or shut the door and open a bottle of wine

RagnarRagnar · 02/12/2023 20:58

You have my total sympathy. Can you let her watch videos on your phone and dose beside her? My son was an awful sleeper and I used to do this with peppa pig. I still fall asleep to it nowadays!

Original poster

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 21:01

@Towwanthustice there is no one. It's just me and dh and he is on nightshfts. I mean I have friends but they all have kids of a similar age so I don't want to be a burden.

Dh has been working so much recently and it's just been difficult with the youngest waking so much. If I had the evening free to finish my jobs then relax and have some breathing space it would all kind of be ok but being basically trapped In her room or going back up to her every ten mins is what makes it really tough and truly 24/7. She used to be much easier and the evening was like this golden recharge time and it helped me so much.

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motherofbantams · 02/12/2023 21:01

Oh OP, you poor thing! There is a reason sleep deprivation is used as torture - is because it makes us feel like this. I know it is excruciating - but know that you are a fabulous mother, a wonderful person, and this will pass. You will feel yourself again 😘.
That said, is there anyone you trust to help? Xx

Original poster

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 21:05

I keep reminding myself it's not as bad as when she was a baby. That truly was an absolutely awful time for me and I will 100% not be repeating it ever. Knowing it's nowhere near as bad as it was is getting me through. In fact life is really good and she's usually easier than this, this is just a rough patch.

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Towwanthustice · 02/12/2023 21:06

If I had a friend who called and told me this I would defo help.
It's not wrong to ask for help. But in the mean time just do anything u can .. snuggle up with her in ur bed and watch TV or on the sofa?.
It's so hard, I really get you!. I've coped all alone as a single mum and the years they really rely on you are so tough, esp when ur sleep deprived.

TomatoSandwiches · 02/12/2023 21:11

Those jobs can wait until your partner is around to help out.
Just get her in bed with you, take it easy and love bomb her a bit, enjoy some cuddles and hopefully you'll both have a good sleep.

theduchessofspork · 02/12/2023 21:11

It really is such a difficult time, you are doing a wonderful job getting through it. I know it’s really hard financially right now, but does your DH absolutely have to take extra hours?

in the meantime I would just take your phone or book and be next to her till she goes to sleep. It’s not ideal but needs must. Her sleep will settle again.

Warmandbright · 02/12/2023 21:12

Definitely give in before you break. Watch some tv with her, let her stay up. Then tomorrow you need to sit down with her and talk to her to her about it. She’s only little but you can make agreement / star chart / pictures about making bedtime better.

Tomorrow either on your own or with a friend come up with a plan to help you cope, what can you put in place? I used to stay in my toddlers room listening to podcasts and ignoring them until they slept. It was much better than the endless back and forth.

Now you don’t need to fight it, just survive tonight.

It will pass.

3ofus3 · 02/12/2023 21:12

Do you have a TV in your bedroom? When I'm having a rough day I bring my 1YO in bed with me and let them watch what they want. It usually keeps him still for a bit while your able to breath. And sometimes helps him to fall asleep. It's not forever ❤️ you have definitely got this. One day at a time xxx

Original poster

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 21:14

@theduchessofspork yes he does. He wouldn't if we had a fair government but this one gave decided he should be taxed a crazy amount but that's a whole other thread on how unfair the whole thing is! He's nhs and it's just crazy right now. He's the hardest working person I know.

Thanks for the words of support.

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Pinkpinkpink15 · 02/12/2023 21:19

I could borrow her for the night.

how old are your older ones?

id take her to bed with a warm bottle (if she still has them and cuddle up watching tv

make sure there's nothing she can hurt herself with and shut the door, put some pillows and bedding in the floor & her in a warm onesie.

by then id be wide awake & watch whatever crap us in TV until she gives in & goes to sleep!!

Original poster

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 21:25

Update - she's asleep in her cot and I'm downstairs 👍🏻thanks again for the kind words x

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TooBusyGazingAtStarss · 02/12/2023 21:25

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 21:01

@Towwanthustice there is no one. It's just me and dh and he is on nightshfts. I mean I have friends but they all have kids of a similar age so I don't want to be a burden.

Dh has been working so much recently and it's just been difficult with the youngest waking so much. If I had the evening free to finish my jobs then relax and have some breathing space it would all kind of be ok but being basically trapped In her room or going back up to her every ten mins is what makes it really tough and truly 24/7. She used to be much easier and the evening was like this golden recharge time and it helped me so much.

I remember that golden recharge.. then as soon as mine learned some new words or how to do something new, poof goes his sleep.

Toddlers are rough on you at the best of times, let alone when you're on your own and sleep deprived. They just don't give a shit.

Do what you have to do to get through. Literally.
My 3 year old doesn't nap anymore so gets quite tired but gets a second wind if i dont time bedtime right, but then my 2 year old still has a decent afternoon nap of 2 hours ish and they're in the same room.

I miss sleep. 🤣

BlackeyedSusan · 02/12/2023 21:29

I'd also try going to bed with her and using your phone.
Taking her to your bed as described above. Or bringing her down and settling her on the sofa while you relax and then carrying her up later.

I had a non sleeping baby that was bloody brilliant sleeping as a kid and teen. The other one I needed to co sleep with for a while to get them settled. Do what you need to do to survive.

Original poster

bakewellbride · 02/12/2023 23:45

She woke regularly. I've just this minute finished washing my face and brushing my teeth as no chance to do it sooner and now she's awake again! So I'm back to being stuck in my rocking chair holding sleeping dd when I just want to sleep myself so badly. Awful. I'm really struggling.

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Original poster

bakewellbride · 03/12/2023 20:39

Another terrible evening. I'm just struggling to cope and very tearful

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