A question about contraception

[Snowpake]

For the first 10 years of my relationship I had the copper coil. It was ok but I had incredibly painful periods as a result. Then I had it removed while we were Ttc. I was reluctant to go back to it and we have now been using condoms for 8 years.

id like to find a better contraceptive, but am wary of taking hormones as I had a very bad experience with the pill when I was younger. also I manage my quite severe depression through (amongst other things) being careful what I put in my body/ being aware of hormonal changes etc etc. I just don’t feel like the advice available about any hormonal contraceptives takes into account the effect on your wider physical and mental health

on the other hand, I find condoms irritate my skin and I know dh would prefer not to use them (although he’s happy to if it’s the best option for us).

also I’m 44 and perimenopausal, so my body is changing and I’m trying not to be fixated on what hasn’t worked in the past.

I would really like to hear from others about what contraception you use - what age are you, why did you make your choice, and would you recommend it?

Is there any reason if you're not planning on having more kids that your OH wouldn't have the snip? I think any other contraception other than condoms or the copper coil will have hormones in them, which has the potential to unsettle your regime with handling your depression.

Interesting! Thst genuinely hasn’t occurred to me but it makes a lot of sense of course. Do you know what kind of long term impact it has on men, healthwise (if any)?

I used the diaphragm for many years with no pregnancies.

@TheShellBeach is the diaphragm easy to use? I can’t get on with a moon cup so worry it would be similarly difficult!

Diaphragm. It's a bit trickier to insert than a tampon but not much when you get used to it.

I didn’t want to go back on the pill so we used condoms then DH had a vasectomy. Took about 2 months from asking the GP to him having it done. Then about 3 months from then for the all clear it had worked. It was his idea, I’ve done my bit, and we’re both over the moon about it.

What do you mean by longterm impact? It just stops sperm coming out so you get stress free shagging. Nothing is completely risk free but the chances of long term issues are incredibly low, especially with the new way they do it.

Really easy. You just shove it in. It doesn't have to fit exactly on your cervix.
There is a cap which does, but the diaphragm just slips in.

I was sterilised in my late 20s and it has been extremely reliable with no side effects other than more painful periods, although I'm not sure this was down to this.

Agree with @AnneLovesGilbert. I was 41 and my oh was 45. He had the snip. Was super easy. He was a bit sore for about a week and did have very bruised balls, but they settled down quickly. I can't remember what the time scale was for sending off the sperm sample, but he did that, and then it was worry free shagging. I take no contraceptive, have no hormones being pumped into my body, and feel that this is the way I want to handle my run up to menopause.

But, oh was happy to have the snip- and I know there are a lot of men who aren't as keen on the idea. But it seemed to be the fair thing given that I've had years of contraception, child birth, c-section etc!!