What is this unwinding and fun I've heard about?

[Ananxious]

I've been seeing a counsellor for a little while mainly focusing on work stress. She asked me today what I did to unwind/switch off/have fun and I automatically just said, rewatch Gilmore girls and catch up on work. I couldn't think of anything else! She suggested things like crocheting (I've tried these sorts of crafty things before and find them very difficult and frustrating). I have a 3 Y/O who is also not big into crafting, drawing, baking so I'm struggling to think of things
A. I like to enjoy alone
B. Things to enjoy with my DS

Any ideas...?

To unwind and switch off I have a long bath and then read a book or listen to a podcast.

To switch off with DDs I do similar. Once a week we do self-care Sunday where we have bubble baths, put on body lotion, cosy PJs and watch a film.

But if you're catching up on work during your down time what is the reason for that? Is there too much workload for the hours you do? Or is it that you can't switch off from it?

A nice walk is simple and yet lovely for just giving yourself some time out. You notice so much more around you when walking, best of all it's free and good exercise for mind, body and soul, especially on a crisp winters day!

Reading a magazine, also like ones with a few puzzles at the back (Good Housekeeping have some).
Listening to music. There's a free lunchtime concert in my local art gallery once a week that I love going to by myself if I can.
Cooking something nice for dinner.
Going to a cafe for nice cake and tea (either alone or with my kids).
Going for a walk, again either alone or with the kids.
My kids used to love doing a jigsaw or colouring in which was mostly fun.

'To unwind and have fun' for me, involves laughing.

Are you able to go out one evening a week - leaving your little one with your partner, or a babysitter ?
Then we can suggest things that might help you forget work for the evening, and spend time either with like minded people, or as you say alone, but doing something you enjoy.

If you find crafts difficult and frustrating, is that the right path?

TV is excellent. Honestly, I've only got through long periods of work stress because of watching stuff like Hart of Dixie after work. Proper escapism! Haven't tried Gilmore Girls but heard good things.

You could try colouring books maybe? My sister got me one for insomnia, didn't help, but I appreciated the thought.

I sometimes think we ask too much of ourselves, get stressed, and then ask more of ourselves...

I like rehearsing and performing music. Really stops me thinking of anything else. It only works if you like singing/playing an instrument though…

Podcasts whilst I do something constructive at home, like clear out a cupboard. If I'm concentrating on a podcast my mind can't drift to things that worry me

Ideally, to unwind it will be something you can focus your whole mind on without multitasking - it’s trendy to call it ‘flow state’ I think.

So things like reading, podcasts, cooking/baking, learning an instrument, following a Joe Wicks workout or YouTube yoga. I can’t watch TV without keeping my hands busy with a jigsaw or mumsnet something else but if you can single-task on TV then this is an option.

Thank you, I love these ideas. I tend to listen to podcasts while doing something else like housework so while having a relaxing bath would be great.

I got a new job and then following a restructure, I started yet another job in the same department. It's a lot of learning and I've never had quite so many responsibilities so I'm struggling to cram work into my working hours. It makes it's way into my head and makes me feel guilty for relaxing.

Thank you. I do like walking, I just get a bit fed up of walking around the same places. I'm not the most confident driver to find new places and don't necessarily have the time to go further afield. I walk a lot through the week though to work and on lunch breaks and I find that hugely helpful.

These all sound nice and not too much pressure 😌 magazines are such a treat - I think when I next feel the urge to pick up my laptop to do some work, I need to nip out and treat myself to a magazine I used to love.

My partner and I get one evening per month without our DS. It's quite a recent development but so far we went to a fair in our city one month and out for a meal another. It was nice though I think we sometimes struggle with that time together - the irregularity of it and therefore pressure. He often tells me he's so tired by the time it comes around.

I really love the idea of colouring books. Thank you, I'm already googling fancy pens and nice books ❤️ I follow someone on tiktok who does a lot of colouring, she lights a candle and puts on some soothing music while she colours - it looks blissful.

That must be great to have something you love to do like that 😁 I'm certainly a keen listener.

Love this, any podcast recommendations?

That makes sense. I multi task all the time and it does me no favours. Lots of poorly done jobs and I feel unaccomplished and stressed. Sometimes I'll watch TV while I work meaning my work isn't done well but I don't feel the benefit of having relaxed either! Dedicating time for both things separately seems sensible.

Also, with your DS you've got a lovely opportunity to role model looking after yourself by doing something for the enjoyment of it rather than to achieve. So even if your eg. colouring comes out wonky, you can tell him what you're enjoying about it.

I love walking, reading and seeing friends