Hi everyone.
To start with, I know I really fucked up here.
Just under two weeks ago, an old friend of mine and I had a one night stand. He is married and I am separated. We are both in our early 30's and were very attracted to each other as teenagers.
Our friendship group lost touch because I married and moved away. I then gained lots of weight, lived through a miserable marriage and joined a church that controlled and manipulated me.
I lost the weight last year, left my husband and left the church. I am in therapy and was told I have been controlled my entire life. My mother was very controlling too.
As a result, I have become quite reckless and rebellious. I don't want or desire to hurt anyone, but I am acting without thinking at times.
When I reconnected with all of my old friendship group, this man and I connected quite quickly. We flirted online a bit and recently participated in some sexting. Terrible I know. Then when we had sex, we planned to meet again a few days later but he came down with an illness.
I then tried to make it clear that our flirty communication needed to stop because I was beginning to realise I had feelings. He said the feeling was mutual and that he wanted me, but said it does make things harder.
He has since found a reason to message me every day. Yesterday he told me how good I looked, and then complained to me about his wife.
I naively thought we could remain friends and if the flirting had stopped, it could have been nipped in the bud. But I am not sure this is realistic. I didn't want this to affect our friendship group in any way.
I am going to have to stop talking to him entirely aren't I?!
I am such an idiot.