Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I've f**ked up

2 replies

YellowBrickRood · 30/11/2023 20:54

Hi everyone.

To start with, I know I really fucked up here.

Just under two weeks ago, an old friend of mine and I had a one night stand. He is married and I am separated. We are both in our early 30's and were very attracted to each other as teenagers.

Our friendship group lost touch because I married and moved away. I then gained lots of weight, lived through a miserable marriage and joined a church that controlled and manipulated me.

I lost the weight last year, left my husband and left the church. I am in therapy and was told I have been controlled my entire life. My mother was very controlling too.

As a result, I have become quite reckless and rebellious. I don't want or desire to hurt anyone, but I am acting without thinking at times.

When I reconnected with all of my old friendship group, this man and I connected quite quickly. We flirted online a bit and recently participated in some sexting. Terrible I know. Then when we had sex, we planned to meet again a few days later but he came down with an illness.

I then tried to make it clear that our flirty communication needed to stop because I was beginning to realise I had feelings. He said the feeling was mutual and that he wanted me, but said it does make things harder.

He has since found a reason to message me every day. Yesterday he told me how good I looked, and then complained to me about his wife.

I naively thought we could remain friends and if the flirting had stopped, it could have been nipped in the bud. But I am not sure this is realistic. I didn't want this to affect our friendship group in any way.

I am going to have to stop talking to him entirely aren't I?!

I am such an idiot.

OP posts:
Nonoatchristmas · 30/11/2023 20:59

I am going to have to stop talking to him entirely aren't I?!

I want to be sympathetic, but you’re only sort of considering the above now - despite the fact that you knew he was married when flirting/sexting/shagging you? Come in, ‘stop talking to him’ was several moments before this one. What are you expecting people to say, ‘nah give him a chance, who knows what might happen’?. It’s all me me me, not one thought for his poor wife. Your awful history (and I’m sorry you’ve been through so much) is not excusable for this behaviour.

NonPlayerCharacter · 30/11/2023 21:06

I am going to have to stop talking to him entirely aren't I?!

Yes, of course. He's married and you two can't be trusted.

And if he truly wants you and not his wife, he'll leave her and find you. If there's one thing men are good at, it's pursuing things they want. So you'll soon know.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page