Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Pulled dd out of nursery

40 replies

Pinkcappucino · 30/11/2023 20:03

Because of constant Illness. She started in may and has been off sick more than she’s been in. We can’t take it anymore.

One thing after another and she was grey, exhausted, miserable and investigations didn’t show anything but she just can’t be this unwell so we have withdrawn her . I was only PT so have gone back onto full UC (luckily my circumstances mean they won’t hassle me) which is a shame but she is due to go to school in sep 24 so will see if things improve.

Are there just more illness this year it seems horrendous??

OP posts:

InTheRainOnATrain · 30/11/2023 20:56

I did the same with my 10MO so I get it, with hindsight I think there were practices within the nursery that were making it worse. Can she go back in the spring? It seems a shame if she loves it and it’s such good prep for school. Maybe at a different nursery? Mine started at a different nursery at 2 years old, it’s been 10 months and so far he’s only missed 1 day.

ladygindiva · 30/11/2023 20:59

One of my twins had non stop illnesses, back to back, from January to June when she started nursery aged 3 and then it calmed down. It was a pain. I think it's fairly typical. This was 4 years ago. The other twin didn't, but she appears to have a fantastic immune system, possibly because she's a way better eater, likes veg and fruit etc.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 30/11/2023 21:03

YourNameGoesHere · 30/11/2023 20:18

Honestly as shit as it seems it's totally normal, especially as she's not been in childcare until 3. I wouldn't have removed her to be honest, all that's going to happen is you're pushing the problem down the road and she's going to catch everything when she starts school in September. I'd far rather she missed nursery than school.

I disagree with this and think it's something parents tell themselves to feel better. I know plenty of children who haven't gone to nursery and their immunity is no worse than children who have when they start school. I also think it depends on the nursery and how strict they are with sick kids and also their hygiene practices. I have also noticed a big difference with some of my friends where some seem to always be sick with lots of different nasty things and others are really only getting colds. It's been interesting.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Benefits Childcare & nursery Families

CheltenhamLady · 30/11/2023 21:24

My granddaughter is exactly the same. Her mum has just finished Maternity leave and gone back to work part time, but the baby is constantly ill.

They are also considering pulling her out of nursery due to the sheer number of illnesses that she is contracting. It is leaving them all absolutely shattered after nights of little or no sleep, and the baby is miserable. They are constantly at the GP.

They are fortunate that between us the family can and will plug the childcare gap if needed, but it must be awful if you have no other options.

TiptoeTess · 30/11/2023 21:26

Pinkcappucino · 30/11/2023 20:42

She wasnt building up immunity she was getting more and more run down. As far as I’m concerned building up immunity was done by her being breastfed and fully vaccinated etc and being so unwell so often and on antibiotics regularly isn’t good for her

Show quote history

There are different types of immunity and they build in different ways.

Greentrilby · 30/11/2023 21:45

On the radio this morning, they said under 5s have, on average, ten illnesses during the winter period. Clearly this builds up immunity but must be hell!

platinumplus · 30/11/2023 21:58

carddino · 30/11/2023 20:49

@Pinkcappucino totally the same. I look at other parents in awe who say oh it's just a cold, just a sick bug. NOT HERE. It's antibiotic or steroid, it's hospital for three days for sickness and swelling.

I cannot understand it. We live on a farm. They are outside, their diet is great, they were BF, except the twins because they were adopted and I was told I wouldn't have children then did.

They have vitamins, sambucal, they are vaccinated.

I cannot book anything, they will be sick. It's just awful.

I honestly think there must be some sort of genetic factor to this.

There are people I know whose kids are literally NEVER ill. Or if they are, they don't need any time off as it's "mild".

My child can catch the same bug and be bedridden for days with a temp of 40 or vomiting/diarrhea etc.

It was quite evident with Covid that some people didn't even know they had it whilst others were literally dying.

People really need to stop comparing their children to others - they don't all get ill the same way.

Mumaway · 30/11/2023 22:08

The first 6 months they get everything going, then it settles and they hardly catch anything.

Beezknees · 30/11/2023 22:12

platinumplus · 30/11/2023 21:58

I honestly think there must be some sort of genetic factor to this.

There are people I know whose kids are literally NEVER ill. Or if they are, they don't need any time off as it's "mild".

My child can catch the same bug and be bedridden for days with a temp of 40 or vomiting/diarrhea etc.

It was quite evident with Covid that some people didn't even know they had it whilst others were literally dying.

People really need to stop comparing their children to others - they don't all get ill the same way.

Show quote history

I agree that there is likely some genetic thing.

I'm fairly lax with hygiene. I wash my hands after I use the toilet of course and things like that but I'm really not finicky with it.

I rarely get ill and nor does DS. DS has only ever been off school ill twice in his entire life and he's 15. In my entire adult life I've only had a sickness bug once. DS has never had one.

I do think it must be genetic.

PlayDohDots · 30/11/2023 22:17

It was the most miserable and horrific year and a half of my life. DD started nursery aged 3 and was ill for 16months, the worst being last winter which was back to back viruses like what you describe here. Each one spiked a fever, caused a deep hacking cough (3x croup) and took absolutely ages to clear because her body was so exhausted already. I was genuinely broken and didn't see a point in sending her back in knowing she'll just get sick again within days. When you're in the thick of it YANBU to just take her out to break the cycle. However for us it ended virtually overnight. Since the new nursery year she's only had a bunged up nose for a few days despite all kinds of viruses running through the class during this time. I used to scoff at the idea of "building immunity" but it really seems like kids can hit a plateau and the severe symptoms don't occur anymore. Many one-off illnesses also need to run their course and they will never return or just get milder (rotavirus, sixth disease, fifth disease, HFM, CMV, covid etc).

veeolay · 30/11/2023 22:26

This does seem quite extreme and it hasn't been my experience of my 2 kids when they started nursery (both at just over a year old). Their noses are pretty constantly running through the winter but they are fine in themselves. Oldest has never even had an ear infection and he's 4, he didn't get chickenpox til he went to school nursery and even then he was only very mildly affected.

The most annoying part of it is they get a sniffle but for me it turns into a full blown sinusey cold that lasts a couple of weeks...I feel like I'm constantly sick! But we have no other options for childcare so nursery it has to be.

To me it makes sense to let her recuperate and build her strength up, it's horrible being ill all the time.

Livingoncaffeine · 30/11/2023 22:31

My DS is on his third winter at nursery / pre school and hasn’t missed a day so far this season…. I wouldn’t have believed it possible the first year. He brought home so many illnesses, never did a full week, it had a big impact on our work and it was just a.m nightmare. It’s got better each year.

anon2134 · 30/11/2023 22:54

It's shit.

Ds caught a fair few things when he was at nursery the first 6 months and is barely unwell now.

Dd catches everything, every cold/cough/ear infection/urine infection/scarlet fever/noro virus.

It's just shit. She's been in nursery since she was 2 and it's not getting any better. The minute she's starting to get over one thing she comes down with something else. Crappy sleep due to blocked nose/cold/peeing/pain/low grade temp. It's been years of this. Her nose has ran since she was 2. I don't think we've ever had a day it hasn't ran apart from when we went on holiday for 3 weeks.

Drhow · 30/11/2023 22:57

I know it’s crap but it’s actually beneficial for their developing immune systems to pick up so many bugs and get stronger as a result. My DC were always sick at that age and now the older ones barely ever get sick thankfully. Younger ones still pick everything up and it’s a pain but we deal with it because it’s totally usual.

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 02/12/2023 21:43

Drhow · 30/11/2023 22:57

Do you have any evidence for this where bugs/viruses are concerned, rather than just playing in the mud or something?

OP I was thinking the same this week. I think number of kids and the environment they're in also makes a difference. DD had been on a wait list for a long time for nursery near siblings school. She had no days off sick at last nursery - this term has been an absolute fucker. Same for siblings at school. We know things like covid are linked to immune dysregulation. We know various viruses make other infections more likely. I was rarely ill but am now playing the waiting game to spontaneously recover from long covid at some point - another present from school. So sick of sending them in happy and healthy and them coming home ill. Wish I could escape somewhere too!! Don't blame you OP - it's relentless.

Flip

1 2