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Original poster

Did anyone become more chilled after becoming a mum?

19 replies

rorotheo · 29/11/2023 22:23

My own DM swears this happened to her. All of a sudden she didn’t worry about trivialities. It was replaced with new worry but she was nowhere near as ruminating and indecisive as before.

Surely the opposite must be true for the majority of people? Did anyone here notice a change. Just noseying :)

OP posts:

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 29/11/2023 22:28

To a certain extent.
My house doesn't matter as much, I don't care about random opinions of me so much.
I'm more concerned with meeting my children's needs and giving them a happy childhood.

Though I will admit that I struggle to juggle both having a career and juggling the "home" responsibilities in conjunction, because I was tying myself up in knots to reach perfection both at work, and at home, giving up for a temporary time is allowing me to be a bit calmer, and I exist in a bubble at the moment

notanothernamechange12 · 29/11/2023 22:30

No quite the opposite

TeenLifeMum · 29/11/2023 22:31

I had dd1 and was very stressy but then I had twins and chilled out a lot. If I’d maintained my previous stress levels I would have fallen apart after the twins I think.

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LBFseBrom · 29/11/2023 22:37

Yes I did. Things that had worried me before and certain preoccupations no longer mattered, I had other priorities.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/11/2023 22:42

Yes, definitely. Different worries but generally more relaxed. I’ve found a profound sense of peace and contentment in having children.

Stringagal · 29/11/2023 22:44

Yes, I did when they were little.

Then they became teenagers.

Sonolanona · 29/11/2023 22:47

I became more chilled with each child

The first, I was an anxious first time Mum with a high needs baby.
No 2.. 13m later.. chilled baby and I started to relax a bit.
No 3... 12m later... I was too knackered with three under 3 to be anything BUT relaxed!!! 'All alive, all fed' was my mantra on tricky days!

No 4 came with a different set of worries as he has special needs but as I was looking after 4 children I simply didn't have the time and mental energy to sweat the small stuff... and it was good for me! The only thing that worried me was being good enough for them :)

Allthingsdecember · 29/11/2023 23:29

I don’t know if I’m more relaxed overall, but I definitely don’t worry about a lot of things I used to stress about now. Unfortunately I’ve replaced it with worrying about DC 🤷‍♀️

Devilsmommy · 29/11/2023 23:33

I think any worries now are all centred around DS. Haven't got the time or energy to be bothered about trivial crap and I definitely give less of a shit what other people think of me🤣🤣🤣

MysticMary · 29/11/2023 23:39

Yes, this was definitely true for me. I used to be a terrible worrier, always up at night ruminating on things. I'm just not like that anymore. It's strange, and not what I expected! I was very worried that I wouldn't cope with motherhood but it's been amazing for my mental health. I can't believe the silly things I'd get so worked up about. Nothing really matters anymore, as long as my kids are happy and healthy.

sunshineandshowers40 · 29/11/2023 23:40

I certainly did not!

Quickquestion10 · 29/11/2023 23:41

Most definitely not. My nerves became shot to pieces.

mondaytosunday · 30/11/2023 00:08

Chilled? I don't sweat the small stuff but my goodness there's always a level of anxiety now. Are my kids happy? What dues the future hold? How will they be when I'm gone? How will my DD illness ingress? Will my son find his path in life and become more settled? Hey I don't care if the livingroom gets vacuumed but I have a hell of a lot of other things that are more stressful now I have two other dependant on me.

Roastpotatoesat3 · 30/11/2023 00:15

Pahhaha no. You just replace all your old fears with worse ones about your kids and possible death of them or you. 🙃

PenguinBall · 30/11/2023 03:48

Absolutely (in some respects). I'm a lot less uptight since having kids. As long as they're happy then that's enough.

I do get really wound up if someone does something that I think negatively impacts them though. Well not necessarily wound up but I don't stand for it. Like getting ready to go out places - if me and the kids are ready and my parents are still dithering then we leave and they can join us when they're ready.

Girasoli · 30/11/2023 07:32

Me definitely!

I worry lots less about work, and I am more decisive in life generally (there's just less time to over think)

I think the breastfeeding hormones helped in my case, I never got PMS in the whole time I breastfed each DC. I've noticed since I've stopped breastfeeding DS2 I get a bit teary and fretful for a few days a month now.

App13 · 30/11/2023 07:36

Yes. I was such a go getter, up early,pristine, having loads of things at the go at one point, jobs, study,law suits , etc.. nails, hair done for work at least, makeup free at weekends , gym minimum 3 times a week, clean living .

After dd , same things but at a lesser level, I can't keep up with nails, gym is home based , dressed to work 75% of what I was. Barely any more study unless for special occasions . More home based time spending. And generally more relaxed

fishfingersandtoes · 30/11/2023 07:38

Lol no.

dhxxx · 30/11/2023 10:19

Definitely not for me. I am now stressed about trying to juggle children and work. I wish it was easier

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