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Ex-H and custody arrangements

5 replies

NoEffingWay · 29/11/2023 20:49

This is maybe an AIBU but I can't face the flack!

Ex-H and I share custody of DS (50/50).

On ex-husbands week, I will take DS to a sporting activity about three times a week, with the plan that ex-H will collect from there.

Ex-H will turn up late and uses a multitude of reasons why, when he does turn up, why he needs to leave to run an errand. DS needs supervision when he's there, so I end up staying with him whilst ex-h gets his car/goes to the shops/makes an urgent phone call etc etc.

Today, I said no, as I had to be somewhere else. Ex-h slammed his coffee cup down, and told me I was being unreasonable as I was 10 minutes later than usual due to traffic (I had messaged him to tell him this was the case). He then told me he couldn't see why I couldn't stay as he had planned on leaving and coming back later!

I would just say, 'this has to stop', but there are a couple of factors stopping me. Principally, I get lots of extra time with DS, which I absolutely love and would be loathe to give up.

The other thing is that my ex is a lazy so and so who would never take DS anywhere, no matter to the sporting activity he adores. I organise it, sort out the equipment he needs.

Ex-h only has to turn up and then take him back to his house-it's near his work, and no where near mine, but DS goes to school near my house hence my offer of a lift there.

Do I just need to grin and bear it for DS's sake?

OP posts:
Santaiswashinghissleigh · 29/11/2023 20:53

Suggest 50 /50 isn't working and you need to claim cms. . Watch him pull his socks up.

Whattodo112222 · 29/11/2023 20:54

You'd made a rod for your own back with this ridiculous set up in all honesty.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/11/2023 20:59

No one’s going to make him facilitate this, it’s up to him what DS does during his week. If he doesn’t support this activity it’s lucky he’s okay with doing half the journeys.

If you want the time with DS and can suck up the hassle from your ex I’d just do that.

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NoEffingWay · 29/11/2023 20:59

@Whattodo112222 you are probably right in some respects-he has a knack of telling me in front of DS, so I feel dreadful if I say no because the last thing I ever want is for DS to think I don't want to be with him.

OP posts:
Whattodo112222 · 29/11/2023 21:11

You have to instil some proper boundaries. Your DS will be learning how to take advantage from his dad...

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