Hi OP,
I'm really sorry you got a fright. Fire is very dangerous and your fear is sensible and right. I think it is very good that you asked on here, because that will help you learn good safety skills.
It would be good to look online for guides to fire safety so you can make sure you understand how to stay safe.
For this situation that you just experienced:
I think it is really best not to put an empty pan on a hot stove to heat up. You can either put in oil or water, but you do need to have something in the pan.
Then the oil or water will show you how hot the pan is and you can take action if you need to, by removing it from the heat before anything catches fire or boils dry.
If there is a fire, then you are absolutely right with your fire blanket idea. Pouring water on smoking oil will definitely make a big fire and might shoot buring oil all over your kitchen which will quickly set the whole kitchen on fire.
If you can't manage the fire blanket when you are panicking then it's also good to grab the pan and run into the garden with it.
If it all goes wrong and your house catches fire, then it's important to just run out of the house and call the fire brigade, because the fumes from burning paint can be very dangerous, especially if your house is old enough to have lead paint. It is better not to stay indoors and fight the fire unless it is a very small one. Fighting fire is a job for the fire brigade. If you don't have a phone on you, then you can run to a neighbour and ask them to call for you.
If you are doing deep fat frying, it is better to buy the machine for the job, rather than use a pot.
Hope that helps.