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Original poster

Should I not work to accommodate him?

21 replies

tinatsarina · 29/11/2023 08:00

I work as bank staff. I'm on Saturday and Sunday this week as partner is off. There's now a bus strike on Friday and he wants me to tell work I can't do Sunday as he wants to switch his days. I said no he can walk to work on Friday 45mins/1hr or try to pre-book a taxi.

He has previous for being a selfish prick at times, but apparently I'm being selfish by not giving up one of my days. He earns more but it's hard for me to work around the kids nursery times so the weekends are the only days I have. His job is more hands on whereas mine is more reception based.

OP posts:
MasterOfOne · 29/11/2023 08:14

Can you clarify the problem? Is he asking you to call off work so you can drive him to his work?

If that's the case, he is being the selfish one. He is an adult and it's his responsibility to make his way to work, and if there us a problem, he needs to sort it.

aswarmofmidges · 29/11/2023 08:21

Slightly confused why you can't work Sunday so as to give him a lift on Friday

Do you work on Friday ? Can you give him a lift early on your way to work if he doesn't want to walk ? If you don't work Friday why can't you just give him a lift - an hour walk there and an hour back for a manual job is going to be tiring at the end of the week

Eatbetterthisweek · 29/11/2023 08:21

If he has to fulfill his contracted hours and swapping a day allows him to do this then I would cancel my Sunday bank shift.

Original poster
tinatsarina · 29/11/2023 08:27

Apologies neither of us drive so his only way to work is public transport he usually does mon-fri so if the hours are there I do Saturday and Sunday. Which was ok until he found out about this strike now it's give up my day so he can swop his to a Sunday rather than just walk or taxi on the Friday.

OP posts:
ColourByNumbers88 · 29/11/2023 08:37

It's too short notice for you to give up Sunday. He can walk or get the bus or take a day off himself.

ColourByNumbers88 · 29/11/2023 08:37

Get a taxi I meant.

FairFuming · 29/11/2023 08:42

Can he not ask somone he works with for a lift or like you say get a taxi or walk? What are his reasons for not doing that? If you rely on bank hours it will look bad if you start cancelling last minute and will probably stop you being offered them

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 29/11/2023 08:42

Doesn't he have any annual leave he can use? I'd be telling him to get fucked.

SayNoToDoorToDoor · 29/11/2023 08:43

He either needs to walk on the Friday or get a taxi, take the day off or swap for the Sunday the week after. There’s a lot of options he can do but he’s wants to inconvenience you. He’s being selfish.

Themermaidspool · 29/11/2023 08:43

What's wrong with walking? It'll be good excercise and he can listen to a podcast. (Secretly I'd love a forced hour walk where I didn't have to feel guilty about not being somewhere doing something else!)

sixteenfurryfeet · 29/11/2023 08:44

Don't let him pull the "I earn more than you so my job is more important than yours" card.

Original poster
tinatsarina · 29/11/2023 08:45

He starts work at 8 so would have to leave the house at 7 to walk, reasons for not wanting to do that is it's cold and potentially raining. He was giving off about it this morning, I think it just comes down to he's a selfish prick and doesn't see what I do as any value. Would regularly comment you enjoy your day at home while some of us work for a living, that his day off is my day of work when he has to look after the kids etc etc

OP posts:
SayNoToDoorToDoor · 29/11/2023 08:47

Do you have a bike or can get hold of one?

We’re 5 weeks into a bus strike where I am and some older teens are cycling 13 miles one way to get to sixth form. 45 min walk is definitely doable as a one off

HelpMeUnpickThis · 29/11/2023 08:47

Based on your last post DO NOT skip your bank days - you may well need them in future!

DO NOT jeopardise your job at all - this man does not appreciate or value you. You have got to look out for yourself.

Original poster
tinatsarina · 29/11/2023 08:51

My thoughts exactly were that he's only doing it because he doesn't value what I do. It's not equal to his job. I've asked him to take a day off in the past because I wasn't well and could barely get out of bed. He couldn't just take a day off, he has a career to think about.

OP posts:
LIZS · 29/11/2023 08:55

tinatsarina · 29/11/2023 08:45

He starts work at 8 so would have to leave the house at 7 to walk, reasons for not wanting to do that is it's cold and potentially raining. He was giving off about it this morning, I think it just comes down to he's a selfish prick and doesn't see what I do as any value. Would regularly comment you enjoy your day at home while some of us work for a living, that his day off is my day of work when he has to look after the kids etc etc

Tell him you can't change and he has to walk on Friday or arrange childcare for Sunday. An hour is not really that far or may be a colleague will be driving in and can meet him partway.

SheilaFentiman · 29/11/2023 08:56

Don’t take the Sunday off. He has options, walk or taxi.

caringcarer · 29/11/2023 09:08

Carry on to do your weekend job as normal he can Uber to get to work or get up early and have a nice crisp walk.

Olika · 29/11/2023 09:17

Don't change your shifts for him. He is a selfish twat.
I am so sick of these men complaining they have to use their day off from work to take care of their own kids. WTF do they think women do every day.

Original poster
tinatsarina · 29/11/2023 09:21

Thanks for the replies everyone, after him going off on one this morning about it I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable. I've just messaged him to say if he wants to swap days to message his mum and see if she can have the kids on sunday

OP posts:
Beezknees · 29/11/2023 09:25

YANBU. He can walk. I used to walk 40 minutes to drop DS to school then 45 minutes to my job, repeat again in the afternoon.

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