A normal list of ailments for a 44 year old?

[chr1stmastree]

Just posting for some perspective and I don't want to share all of this IRL. First of all no offence intended to anyone experiencing serious illness - it's intended as a lighthearted post.
My husband says I should have a full check-up as I'm always experiencing some ailment or other. He's not saying I'm a hypochondriac - he knows all these ailments are real - but rather he thinks it's not normal for one person who is essentially healthy should have all this things wrong with them! He keeps saying "you need to see a doctor and get all these things fixed" as if it's so simple and I'm a car or something.

Is my list of ailments basically a normal list for a 40-something or should I get checked out?

(For context I'm 44 and had a baby 3 years ago. Asthma sufferer but otherwise healthy.)

• poor sleep (the baby and toddler years left their mark)
• bad back (pregnancy hangover)
• sore ankle after sprain last year
• possible peri symptoms, low libido, low mood, forgetting
• fungal toenail for years - can't shift it
• sore bunion (I'm sounding attractive now aren't I?!)
• hair thinning (falling out in shower - peri?)
• PMT moods after starting HRT
• dodgy crown and a dodgy filling, possible root canal needed (pregnancy hormones messed up my teeth)!
• currently have a chest infection but DH says "not another thing!"

So is the above list fairly representative or am I about to crumble altogether?

Does HRT improve your symptoms? If you take out the bits related to menopause and child bearing it’s not a very long list!
Is your husband concerned that something more significant is underlying some things? I don’t think a ‘full check up’ is a thing on the NHS. Sounds like he’s just frustrated you’re not operating 100% and presumably he has to pick up a bit of slack as a result?
Have you tried tablet anti fungals for the toenail? They can work really well. Are you getting time and headspace to do exercises for your back, strengthen your core etc?
With your hair thinning it might be worth getting your iron and thyroid levels checked and speak with a doctor about adjusting your HRT if it’s causing issues / not relieving your symptoms.

Sorry to answer your question it’s a perfectly standard list of ailments for a woman in the peri menopause who has a 3 year old.
However that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider getting help or trying to improve some of them! It’s not clear what you’ve tried. Please don’t go to see your GP with that list in a 10 minute appointment!

Im 45 but dont have any peri ailments.

I do have problems with either frozen shoulder 2020-2022 or tennis elbow 2022-2023

Colds seem much worse and likely to go on chest.

Have to live by alerts and reminders because brain will not retain info so im organised by bells and whistles now.

Lower back / right hip is a bit stiff if ive slept on my front.

I think thats all at the moment.

I mean, yes and no. I agree some of them can surely get sorted tho?

Fungal toenails can take ages to shift though. My husband has one.

I'd go to the physio about your ankle and back. We have drop in ones here and they sorted me out when I did have back pain a while back.

Can't you go to the dentist about your teeth?

Peri symptoms sounds like you're on to that. I have some mild symptoms at 48, like hair thinning.

Chest infection is probably par for the course with asthma isn't it?

It's just a lot of minor grips really isn't it? Some of which you could/should get help for.

Are you moaning a lot about them? My husband can be a bit of a whinger and it does get a bit wearing.. especially if it's about things he can't be bothered to sort.

I'd get all of those things sorted if possible

44 here.

My teeth aren't great - I've just had a second root canal, and I've twisted my knee last week, which is causing me issues currently, but I'm excepting to be sorted imminently. It's just soft tissue damage, I hope.

Other than that, think I doing fine. Been to the GP once since about 2016 - and that was at their request for a "over 40 healthy heart check" - and they said I was fine. I'll amend that to fat and fine!

Colds do knock me out a bit more than a decade ago. But not GP worthy.
But my kids are quite a bit older than yours. Some of those things sound like a ha g over from pregnancy and baby /toddler years. Some if it sounds like a head start on menopause.

These are mostly all normal minor ailments tbh, but I agree with PP who asked if you moan about these things a lot? 🙈

My DH will also complain often about bad back, bad sleep, hayfever, stress headache, etc and by the time he gets a seasonal cold on top of all that, I do find myself thinking "FFS, how many health complaints does he have now?!" It starts to feel like there's never a day that goes by that he feels his body is working smoothly and not malfunctioning in sie way...

I don't want to be unsympathetic though as I too have just as many "ailments". I am currently being treated for low iron (tablets and now an infusion this week), and I think it is important to get these little things sorted before you end up with a whole pile of things wrong.

Some things you might be able to solve with self help e.g. if you go to the GP with back pain the chances are they'll just give you a print out of some exercises anyway so might as well just Google something like "NHS physio exercise for lower back pain" and try to do those regularly.

Osteopath for the back pain and the ankle OP. This can definitely be sorted.

im also 44 (my DC are older than yours) and I don’t have obvious peri symptoms yet. But if I don’t get enough sleep / get rundown I am v forgetful though. Same with low libido!

but it sounds like some of your list is down to lack of sleep and certainly having a 3 yr old will be taking its toll.

I'm 39 with a giant list but it is what it is and not much I can do about most of them
Hidradenitis supprativa so I get a lot of abscesses
Neutropenic so get a lot of infections
Low ferritin so hair loss
Back pain (had cauda equina)
Ankles get stiff and sore but have broken them both previously
Urticaria but controlled with injections
Currently have a kidney infection
Broke a tooth a few weeks ago

Pretty standard list I think.

Haha, thank you! To answer a few questions:

• no I dont moan! Well not in an unsolicited way! If he asks me how I slept I'll say, and he's aware of my back as I often can't do horseplay with our DC.

• dentist- my dentist is awful! I had a horrendous experience there! Plus it cost me an arm and a leg despite being NHS! But there are NO other NHS dentists around with availability and I've phoned about 30 of the practices in my area. I'm hoping I don't have to go back and wishing the government did something about dentistry in this country!

• fungal nail tablets - I can't take them. I've actually asked on Mumsnet for other cures as I'm fed up with this blooming toenail!

• HRT - new to it and hoping it starts improving this soon

• yes much of this is life with a 3 year old...!

Your HRT might not be the right one for you. Otherwise I'd say you are probably fairly run down which is why all these niggles aren't going away. I'd suggest that perhaps you might ask your GP to do a full blood count to rule out anaemia, thyroid issues, vitamin & mineral deficiencies etc.

I'm 45 in a fortnight & don't have any regular aches & pains, very rarely get ill, no peri symptoms at all & only see the doctor if there's a change in one of my many moles.

Any injuries like a sprain heal fairly quickly - last one was in May & was perfectly fine in a few weeks with no ongoing issues.

No issues with teeth for years but did have recurring abscesses when I was in my twenties - probably a hangover from being pregnant.

Sleep wise I don't have young children & when I have DGS(18mth) overnight I take badly to the broken sleep but in general I'm getting 6 good hours a night.

Things like a fungal toenail I'd be getting sorted not just accepting it as part of being 44 but that's a vanity thing as they look ugly & I wear sandals a lot in summer.

I'm always astounded at people my age who are relatively healthy acting as if they're falling to bits & blaming it on their age - 44 isn't even anywhere near old.

I'm 43 and have had most of those things at one time or another. Except I sleep well still thank goodness. I sprained my ankle a few years ago but did lots of ankle exercises (from Youtube) to strengthen it. Early stages bunion I'm awaiting an appointment with the podiatrist - although if it doesn't come soon I think I might go private. My hair has been thinning for years but doctors have never been able to find a reason for it. I had a root canal last year. So it doesn't seem like a crazy list to me but maybe a lot to have all at once.

I think you could and should sort several of those.

Go to the dentist and get the teeth sorted. Get prices for a private dentist if you aren't happy with your own, if you don't qualify for free treatment the difference isn't that great and there are payment plans and insurance policies.

Start doing some exercises for your back and ankle. Simple physio exercises are easy to find free online.

See the GP about the bunion.

See the pharmacist about the toenail.

Keep getting the HRT reviewed to see if the other niggles can be helped with this.

I am 47 and have most of those. The difference is that the HRT massively improved my sleep, with a fabulous knock on effect on everything else - so it's not perfect, but better.

I do think that pregnancy and childbirth really messes the body up and sadly, I think this is even more true if you have children a bit later. Younger bodies bounce back that much quicker I'm afraid.

I agree that treatment for back and ankle isn't a bad idea. I also started doing yoga a few months ago - an easy beginner class and it has been transformational. I'm not doing one armed handstands or anything, but my body moves and feels notably different.

Oh, and the dentist thing is outrageous but you have to get on top of it. Travel somewhere to get it fixed if necessary - a day in London or whatever your nearest city is for example.

And ice for the bunion. Surprisingly helpful.

Not normal in my experience:

I had problems with sleep after having DC, went to a sleep specialist and had CBT. Mostly sleep fine now.

On and off sports related injuries since I was 15. I am also seeing a Physio and mostly functional.

Problem with a filling, I got a new dentist and they sorted it.

i have a just turned 5yo.

Ok thank you!

Right I'm going to:

• See osteopath about my back (and possible ankle)
• Get HRT reviewed
• Sort fungal nail (got recommended on here a product and also using a Phillips lumea which I'm going to try)
• prioritise sleep hygiene

That's for starters!

Sounds pretty normal for that age/motherhood combination to me.

I’m at a similar stage and I’m sure most if not all link back to pregnancy/childcare and perimenopause.

• teeth - damaged by morning sickness, I’ve spent a fortune this year on fixing them
• back ache - lifting children, sleeping badly
• lack of sleep - due to backache, knee pain, can’t get comfortable, over heating
• knee pain - damaged ligament, likely exacerbated by post pregnancy hormone changes & relaxin, and shuffling down the bed to pick baby up
• migraines for the first time in years - hormone, peri menopause
• hot flushes - perimenopause, can make it impossible to settle at night
• verruca - doctor says it is very common to appear during pregnancy because immune system is suppressed, baby is over year old and it is still there

I have a number of ailments at any given time but mostly my constant viral stuff like head colds that run through the system then I get a good week then another.

Honestly I was the same when I was in late teens / early 20s and however little sympathy I get now, I got absolutely none back then. Its oddly comforting that it's not just my age and i just am a low energy always tired and infection prone kind of person. I've always hated that about myself and always felt I was dragging myself along catching up with everyone else but now they are slowing down to narrow the gap. It can be hard when someone complains about a new ailment you've had for years to not be like 'boo how so what I've had that for years..'

Your libido should be increasing in peril... wait until you're properly menopausal for the decrease

I'm 44 with an 18mo. I have a fungal toenail and periodontal disease (had wisdom teeth removed a few months ago). I'm working on the nail with a product from Amazon but it's slow going.
No issues with back, sleep, perimenopause, sprains, or thinning hair. Generally I'm very healthy even while my dc bring home various colds - nothing that would need a sick day. My body doesn't feel old and I'm able to carry my toddler with no problems and chase them around a 4-storey soft play frame.

I'm 42 and had a baby last year. I have;

• low back pain and hip flexor pain (hangover from pregnancy)
• sleep badly (baby)
• fungal toe nails of doom
• more forgetfulness (blaming baby)
• crap nails which flake and split
• grumbly gall bladder
• obligatory ibs

I'm not peri but yours sounds like a standard list to me!

I’m 46 and I go through phases. A little while ago I had plantar fasciitis, a really painful verruca and a painful hip because I was walking funny because of the first two ailments. I also had tennis elbow a while ago.
However I got all these things treated and at the moment (touch wood!) I’m fine.
My only ongoing issue is that my achillies flares up if I do too many jumpy things in the gym but it’s my own fault as it hurt for ages but I did nothing about it.