Do you always feel like you don’t have enough money?

[vinertia]

For a few years I didn’t earn much. I made maybe £20k a year. I live in a very expensive area of the country. So surrounded by people earning a lot and many with inherited wealth. Fortunately my family are still here. I worked my way up and got a huge pay bump, and now earn about £60k a year. Which is fairly average for my immediate area.

But I still feel like I don’t have enough money for the things I want! I want to save for a mortgage, go on holidays abroad, eat out, buy good quality second hand clothing, buy furniture etc. It still feels like when I earnt a lot less.

People normally want more than they have. You just have to decide what is your priority at the moment. Not many people can do it all at once.

Where is all your money going if you can't afford to eat out or buy second hand clothing? Do you pay a massive amount in rent or have children? Are you single or do you have a partner? Those things will make a difference.

Admittedly I live in a cheaper part of the country but you earn almost double what I do and I can afford the things you mention.

How old are you? My generation (50’s now) had it very lucky even without any help from our parents my husband and I made it onto the property ladder and we both have good pensions we can access early. We have been a bit crap with money over the years and used credit cards and loans but we decided we wanted to retire early so we started paying off debt aggressively.

I have made a very strict budget to stick to next year as I want to stop work in the next year. My husband has retired at 55 and I am part time and self employed. As a couple we’ve really worked more to spend more or pay back debt so we want to get out of this cycle and live on our occupational pensions.

I do feel restricted trying to live on the pensions as it’s a lot less than what we can earn however, it’s still a decent amount for a couple with no mortgage or debts. When you write stuff down you realise how much money is frittered away too. Honestly, I think my 18 year old son is better at budgeting and sticking to it than I am.

Make a budget and stick to it as it will make you feel more in control. I’m hoping this works for me.

Good luck.

Do you privately rent alone or have massive debts? Why are you struggling so much when you take home about £3.5K per month?

We currently have a household income of 70 k which sounds like a huge amount but for our average 3 bed house we only had a 5% deposit so pay £1400 on the mortgage. I also have 2 preschool children ( one with 30 free hours) and full time nursery for them is costing us almost 2 k. I also have a person student loan from my mums retirement fund that paying back at £500 a month. So yeah I have a very good income but I feel skint because by the time we pay all our bills and buy food there is nothing left ( and usually end up using a credit card).

Work out where your money is going and where you can save.

@Caffeineneedednow childcare years are tight.

Out of interest the loan you had from your Mum was it instead of student loans from the Gov or just for help with living costs? Looking back if it was instead of having student loans from the Gov do you think you would have been better off taking student loans and paying back 9% of your income over 25k or would you still prefer to have no student debt with the student debt company? I hope you can make sense of what I am asking as reading it back I realise it is like deciphering code!

I was in ireland where student loans were not a thing. I moved to the UK to do my masters so my mum lent me the money to cover fees and living cost for that year. It amounted to 25 k which I started paying back after my PhD.

I never knew about student loans so never looked into it. In hindsight they would have been better as I wouldn't be paying such a large amount at the moment but would be paying more in the long term as mum has not put any interest on her loan 🤷‍♀️

I hear you! I earn similar and I think on that salary people who earn less would expect you to have a lavish lifestyle and it’s in about the top 15% of earners. However, I only have a mortgage because I bought before the property boom, there’s no way I could afford to pay rent and save for a deposit, and I couldn’t afford the property I live in if I was buying it now. I do have a foreign holiday every year but nothing big or flashy and if I was paying rent at more than twice my mortgage every month I’d probably think twice about doing that! Also, if you’re paying bills on a single income it’s a lot more expensive than people who live as a couple.
I’m not pleading poverty but I don’t feel any better off than I did when I earned half this amount because wages haven’t gone up with the cost of living.

Apparently when you ask people how much they'd need to have the lifestyle they want it is always about twice as much as they currently earn. Whether they are on 20k or 120k. It's so easy to compare yourself to others, especially in a wealthy area. We earn fairly well but are in an area with plenty of enormous country piles with Jags parked up front. I have to give my head a wobble sometimes when I catch myself being a bit ungrateful.

Thanks @Caffeineneedednow glad you could fathom what I was asking in my mind it was clear written down it looked like a jumble.

We are in the midst of my son doing a 5 year medical degree and he has taken the student loans because we can’t afford to pay them and save to help him on the property ladder later on. We have to help him with his rent as he gets the minimal maintenance loan so that is around £7,500.00 a year we cover anyway. He watched the Martin Lewis videos and accepts he will ultimately have a bigger student tax burden his entire career plus training as a medic apparently costs the UK tax payer over 200k. His debt will finish under 60k for the 5 years as the NHS pays for the last year tuition so in a sense even though he will pay back more than the 60k he will still have got value for money.

Some of his friend’s parents are paying for their children’s fees and living costs and like you they will pay back the money to their parents with no interest. The international students are paying £40,000 a year too just for tuition! My son says he’s happy with his course and is okay with the student debt. It’s just so scary thinking of the amount of debt but life is about money management too and tbh he seems better than me with this!

Yes, but I'm only on £27k with my autistic son at home on benefits. I just about manage. £60k would be life changing for me.

Honestly I think it is common, you can always use more…

As a grad on £20k I thought managers of £35k were swimming in cash. Then as a manager my outgoings /standard of living creeped up.

i felt financially very comfortable for about 4-5 years 5-10 years ago. DH moved in so bills we halved we had a Smallish mortgage >1k and I was making about £70-90k. We shopped in Waitrose, went out all the time, nice city breaks…. I could buy a pair of nice shoes without thinking too much about it.

then we moved to a big house which needed work and got married which is all ££££.

we now have an even higher joint income (which is astronomical on paper) but a £3k mortgage and £4k pm childcare PLUS bills and food (& fucking student loan payments) life insurance and pensions means we shop in Aldi and drive a 6 year old runaround as we have to prioritise our spending.

Yeh I feel this way totally

my DH and I have discussed this.

under the current system we plan to do what you are doing as tactically speaking…. helping your child get on the property ladder should have a bigger net benefit than paying student loans BUT this will of course depend on T&Cs of the loan.

no, personally I don’t feel like that and I earn the same as you. I have a mortgage and went on 5 holidays this year. Where’s all your money going? (And before anyone says it, no I didn’t buy in 1984 when houses cost 50p, I bought a tiny flat in London in 2021 with no help)

You only have to look on the money threads where there are people with households of £200,000k insisting it "doesn't go as far as you think" which translated just means "we could easily spend more". It helps to take a step back and remember where you came from, reflect on what you do have and how many people live on less. I appreciate that can sound a little trite, but it's genuinely what I try to do.

Are you single and live alone ? Because 60k as a household while decent enough and Uk average salary is something like 35k its just never going to compete with people partnered up or who though not quite as financially helpful still live in shared accommodation.

The cost of everything has spiralled, I’m Gen X and house prices made everything a bit easier then but there are still choices and life situations that influence. I lived in shared housing till I was 29. Four of us shared expenses for a few years.

Obviously the cost of everything has spiralled, but you have not put your living circumstances.

As long as you earn enough to keep a roof over your head and pay bills etc, whatever you earn then it's a question of priorities and mindset
Of course you can afford second hand clothes and whatever else you need, but not everything you want
I suggest you look at your incomings and outgoings then see what you have
then you can prioritise needs and save a bit for wants
This is coming from someone who lives on lifelong disability benefits of 12k
I consider I have a decent life for example I have my gorgeous dog who is everything to me and I pay £50 a week for a lovely dog Walker but balance that by not having meals or coffees out
I do own my flat and pay a huge service charge however

I think in life there is often a never-ending list of wants but not necessarily needs.