Uncontrollable hots for someone I work with

[Hammondhugh]

This is such a recipe for disaster. I have the “hots” as my colleague calls it. For a male colleague of mine.

Im painfully embarrassed about this, I really am. I hate the fact that I feel like this. I am quite naturally flirtatious. But I turn it up a notch with him.

How on earth do I navigate this? Shall I do nothing and follow the phrase “don’t sh*t on your doorstep” crude I know but the only reference that explains it very well.

Is he single? Are you? Dating a colleague is a pretty normal thing to do, it’s how many couples meet.

If he's single and you're single, I see no issue. Lots of people meet at work.

I believe so. But, as I’m just pretty fresh out a relationship. My colleague thinks I’m rebounding. But the thing is.

It’s actually quite frustrating. I’m not sure if he likes me but he says things to me and I know my colleagues always say I’m flirting with him. Issue is, I think he’s flirted with a few others at work. And that puts me off, and makes me a little concerned. I feel like a teenager, overthinking, does he like me does he not. And far far far too shy to ever outright ask.

I think if a man (or woman!) likes you, you'll know. If you're having to overthink and try to find signs they like you, they probably don't.

I don’t think I’m looking for a sign really. I think it’s just awkward at work to say anything. Additionally I’m significantly younger!

Just don't overthink it. If it's meant to be it will happen organically . I'm sure if you're giving off flirty/interested signals he's not stupid, he can pick up on them. If he wants to persue you he will - men love the chase, its in their DNA! Make him work a bit for it though, in my experience (and many mistakes over the years) being too available and interested removes the chase - and therefore the man 🤪

If he's significantly older than you then it's probably a power play on his part. And that's a massive turn off in itself.

See I thought this too. It’s a fair few years older too!

As long as hes single then be happy and go with it. Nothing ventured nothing gained!