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Original poster

Dating app guy just rang me

42 replies

Hammondhugh · 27/11/2023 21:43

So, I spoke to a guy really briefly on a dating app. I didn’t get to reply all day today, he then messaged me again later saying “I’m assuming you don’t use this” so I said “hey no sorry I don’t. Here’s my number. I’ll check my phone much quicker”

So of course, I’m dealing with a work call. Assuming my work is calling me. No, it’s him, after just giving him my number. I was like. Wtf? Why wouldn’t he just text me like anyone else.

I’ve just come out of a 6 year relationship so dating is very new to me. But to call
someone straight away just signifies no boundaries immediately and comes across as a red flag. Correct me if I’m wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hammondhugh · 27/11/2023 22:21

WinteryWonderland · 27/11/2023 22:18

You gave him your number so I'm guessing he took that as a signal to call! Tbh, a guy texting endlessly would be more of a red flag, more like a teenager. He acted like a grown man and called you which would have taken guts I'm sure - so cut him some slack.
I honestly feel like men can't do anything right these days. He's keen. He called. What's the issue here?

He said “I wanted to catch you off guard” bit weird no? I mean I’m all for giving a chance but basic manners is “hi can I give you a call” it’s a bit forward

OP posts:
WinteryWonderland · 27/11/2023 22:23

Hammondhugh · 27/11/2023 22:21

He said “I wanted to catch you off guard” bit weird no? I mean I’m all for giving a chance but basic manners is “hi can I give you a call” it’s a bit forward

Show quote history

I agree that a courtesy text to check convenient would have been much more appropriate, but she did hand him her number and so there was a high chance he'd call.

Whalewatchers · 27/11/2023 22:41

I'm 40 and male. I would only ring someone at 10pm if it was something urgent that couldn't wait until tomorrow. It would have been polite for him to text you and ask how your day went and ask if you were free for a chat tomorrow.

What he said on the phone was also strange.

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Original poster
Hammondhugh · 27/11/2023 22:43

Whalewatchers · 27/11/2023 22:41

I'm 40 and male. I would only ring someone at 10pm if it was something urgent that couldn't wait until tomorrow. It would have been polite for him to text you and ask how your day went and ask if you were free for a chat tomorrow.

What he said on the phone was also strange.

Make me think “lovebombing” or no manners

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 27/11/2023 22:44

Yes it’s weird. Text you & arrange to call! I wouldn’t like this.

Lala87 · 27/11/2023 22:45

Hammondhugh · 27/11/2023 21:45

Really? Don’t you think it’s a bit weird

Yeah I find it a bit weird. I don't like answering calls at the best of times if I don't have to!

scoobydoo1971 · 28/11/2023 00:08

He may have thought it was an open invite to call. However, be careful about giving your number to strangers as they can use it to track you down in all sorts of ways. I would use a separate sim number until you know people well. If you put my phone number into google, for example, it would take a few minutes to trace me to my business, and home address. I believe most people would have the manners not to call at 10pm without texting first to make sure it is convenient. The fact he didn't bother suggests he has few boundaries and you need to be careful with him. He maybe a harmless over-enthusiastic suitor, but he may be a complete weirdo who likes to push himself on others.

BitOutOfPractice · 28/11/2023 00:10

Speaking to people on the phone seems to akin to throwing shit in their face on mn. Meanwhile, in real life, people talk to each other on the phone all the time

AdultLounge · 28/11/2023 00:46

How weird! I've had exactly the same experience tonight except it was 9:45pm.

Messaging OLD then he gave me his number so I WhatsApped him and he phoned me immediately.

Didn't like it at all, and he was tipsy. I will probably still go on a first date with him but I know it's not right. But ... just in case ... I will meet him.

Although I'm annoyed with myself for still wanting to meet him. Does any of that make sense at all?

The OLD etiquette is to text and check before calling.

penjil · 28/11/2023 01:41

Fredblog · 27/11/2023 21:50

Maybe he wanted to check if you was a man

You was?!

That's appalling English!

FYI "you were" is correct and won't set people's teeth on edge.

LaurieStrode · 28/11/2023 02:30

Mazuslongtoenail · 27/11/2023 21:45

I’ve never done online dating but for me to give someone your phone number and then complain that they phone you is a bit bonkers.

This.

Maybe I am old but phones are for voice communication.

Give him your email address, maybe?

nozbottheblue · 28/11/2023 02:41

Well presumably it was before 9:43 pm which is when you posted on here, which then you said was 10pm, then 10:30.
He thought it fine to ring you as you'd just given him your number and were therefore available for a chat. If you weren't it would have been wise to say so.
No, this isn't a red flag. Give him a chance.

DoIReallyNeedToDoThis · 28/11/2023 03:17

nozbottheblue · 28/11/2023 02:41

Well presumably it was before 9:43 pm which is when you posted on here, which then you said was 10pm, then 10:30.
He thought it fine to ring you as you'd just given him your number and were therefore available for a chat. If you weren't it would have been wise to say so.
No, this isn't a red flag. Give him a chance.

It will be “who rings people at 3am?” before you know it!!

AdultLounge · 28/11/2023 08:50

OP!!!!!!

Follow your gut! I don't know if you read my post above at having having the same thing happen to be last night.

But just found out he's a raging alcoholic who was abusive to his long-term ex!!!

I bloody knew it! But just hoped I was wrong! 🙄

They're crossing (OLD) boundaries even before they've met us. And "checking up on you" yeah!

Throw him back!

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 28/11/2023 09:01

It's weird and it's not expected OLD behaviour. Best to bin this one.

dontgobaconmyheart · 28/11/2023 09:02

I'd not have given my number in a million years but yes, I'd find that bloody weird and would just block him/tell him I'm not interested.

"Trying to catch you off guard" - what a weird thing to say. Somebody enjoys having the upper hand clearly, or has been reading nonsense dating tactics online.

Legomania · 28/11/2023 11:18

penjil · 28/11/2023 01:41

You was?!

That's appalling English!

FYI "you were" is correct and won't set people's teeth on edge.

Show quote history

@penjil how rude are you?!

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